Dissipation

It's one of my shorter stories. More of something to post 'just to post'. I came up with it in a mere 10 minutes, I hope this doesn't detract from it's worth though.

  Head looking down at the microscopic grains of sand littered upon ground, was what this woman was doing. Her eyes were like a dam, overflowing, holding back the tears which persistently tried to cleanse her soul of the sadness she faced. 

  Depression, for her, it was a cunning thief, taking away the simple pleasures in life. The ones that truly make our days matter. 

  Anticipation. Loss. Heartache.

 Depression.

  These words bounced around in her head, a negative affirmation which consistently reminded her little she was worth. Words, they form our beings. One letter by one letter, a sentence by a sentence, paragraph by paragraph.

  This woman tempted fate, to look up. What did she see? Alas, a dim sky, a dead tree, a sense of hopelessness. 

 A single warm tear fell heavily from her eye. Falling in perfect formation until it hit the ground, which of course is when it splattered and became part of the dirt, dissolving and dissipating, falling and bleeding, becoming eliminated by the world and soaking into the earth.

 Just like her.

Author's Note

It's short, and definitely not one of my best. Which in all honesty, disheartens me.

Reviews

[ChrisM]

I think it's stunningly good for a work that took ten minutes. Was it intentional that it started and ended with tears? It has a struture - did you do that consciously? I think it would really be worth working up.

[Phillitup]

It really is impressive for the time it took.

[ChrisM]

I just noticed - Alexander D. May is 13 going on 14! Keep writing, young man, I think you may be a really great writer.

[Phillitup]

He's in my class.....he often reads his poems a loud to us...there quite amazing, as are his stories.

[ChrisM]

I'm so glad to have found the both of you. There is hope for this old world yet. Have either of you read David Foster Wallace? Also, could you help me with something? I'm new, can't figure out how to ask you to be my friends?

[Phillitup]

click on the person and then on the right side of their page there is a list of icons. put your mouse over the one with little cartoon peoples head and shoulders. If you place your cursor over it it should say "add to friends" click then and then click "yes". No I haven't read David Foster Wallace.

[ChrisM]

Thank you!

[ChrisM]

David Foster Wallace - please try this, I am so impressed with him, there's much more -
http://murfinator.com/david-foster-wallace-commencement-speech/

[Phillitup]

Of course and thank you!

[Phillitup]

As long as you realize what you can do you'll be fine. It was actually quite good. No matter how short a story, if your reader stands beside them, you've done good. I stood beside your character. Your story spoke real words.

[Aurora Dawn]

This is an interesting piece, I can relate to it, but, I feel you could use some more emotion. Other than that, this is good considering you came up with in in a short amount of time.