Drowning

Stuck in limbo,

pergatory,

watching all I want

slip between my fingers.

Nothing to stop

the outward spiral.

The ripple effect

creating waves I can't rise above.

Everytime I get a solid grip

life f*****g knocks me down again.

And I lose a little more

than I can ever recover.

How many more hits

before I don't get up again?

How much more can I lose

before theres nothing left of me?

Sometimes I can't stand

where I am, 

this place,

this state of mind.

And I tell myself

put me out of my misery.

End it all before

I bleed out slowly.

So many days, so many ways

to give it all up.

But thats just wishful thinking,

just words tossed in ink on paper.

Just my panic talking,

the fear eating me from the inside.

I don't have the balls it would take

to dole out that kind of pain.

Don't have the guts it would take

to give in to the biggest mistake.

So once again

I get a grip,

and hold on

with all I have.

Until life knocks me back down

and the cycle starts again.