Surrender

I hear the voice of whispered dreams,

Which echoed long ago

The distant thunder shakes the ground,

As the fear within me grows



The voice approaches steadily,

As fires form in Its wake

I turn to flee on legs of stone,

Theres no more I can take



The world beneath me opens up,

As struggling...I run

But mournful cries of tortured souls,

Has only just begun



I force myself to continue on,

As terror fills my mind

With fear and hope my only friends,

I pray that I'll survive



Hands of Death have reached for me,

For all these dreaded years

I feel the wounds of loneliness,

As I wipe away the tears



I slowly stop and face the End,

My head held ever high

With peace of mind I reach for Him,

No longer scared to die....

Reviews

[Chris]

You established a cadence but it has a few extra (and minus) beats here and there. The content was was clear and relatable.

[Pure Evil]

Well, what can I say?....I am NOT a poet, just a person who rhymes words. Thanks again for the review

[Chris]

You are taking exception over something I am not ragging about. You have a good skill - and convey your thoughts well. I apologize for critiquing and not commenting.

[Pure Evil]

No apology needed. This was exactly what I was needing to hear. I sincerely thank you for what you said. I have, for many years, debated on whether or not I could be a poet of some kind.....but it just doesn't seem to be a thing I am good enough at to continue. After reading true poets on this site, it is CLEARLY obvious anything I could write would be no match. I appreciate your honesty, thanks for taking the time to read it

[Chris]

We do NOT match anyone here...We speak our OWN minds in our own way. Our uniqueness is what makes our thoughts valuable. Being you is what this place is all about. YOUR voice is unlike anyone else's so we all lose out if you go silent.

[Sarmelendez]

that is so deep on so many diffrent levels

I see all the raw emotion behind the words and that is a gift and such a great writing

[Pure Evil]

Thank you for the review, it is very much appreciated

[Grace]

I'm wondering what crossed your mind for you to write this as I often wonder why I write some of the things that I do. Just curious. Excellent write which flowed all the way through.
(I hope you weren't multi tasking:))))

Grace.

[Pure Evil]

lol...To be honest, I dont know what I was thinking. It just popped into my head, so I wrote it down. Thank you for the time to read it, I appreciate it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Not sure I concur with the religious sentiments but this is a gain a classically metred rhyming poem that is a delight to read. You have a knack of flowing poetry in perfect feet with easy polished rhymes.

[Pure Evil]

As always, I really appreciate your reviews. Thank you for each of them. As for the religious aspect, the Him being reached for, is Death. Im not sure if that was what you were! referring to. If I have this mistaken, please let me know. Again thank you very much for that review.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

My bad! I read that as God. Makes more sense now. Think I was poetry drunk!

[Pure Evil]

lol...after I reread it, I can see how that would be mistaken. Thats actually MY mistake, I should have reworded it.