I Wish

I wish I could have brought you joy
but instead I've brought you grief
And broke your heart with promises
that were just beyond my reach

I wish I could take back those words
which caused you so much pain
And replaced them with the memories
where only love remains

I wish I could make dreams come true
so you could wish on every star
And embrace the magic on the night
you hold within your arms

I wish I could have taken time
to wipe away your tears
And surround your heart with happiness
to alleviate your fears

I wish I could have been the one
who fulfilled your fantasies
And been the one to encourage you
to follow all your dreams

I wish I could have listened more
with patience in my heart
And held you closer to my side
as we both lay in the dark

I wish I could have thought of this
when at first you got with me
Before I broke your heart with promises
that were just beyond my reach

Reviews

[Chris]

Rhyme and near rhyme... repetitiveness... a fair rhythm followed. The last stanza is broken.

[Pure Evil]

I agree, I should have not even posted it. Thanks for the critique

[Chris]

No... you should have posted it...It IS your voice and expressed your thoughts. Which is WHY we post here at WC. We poets are human - and CAN edit as the author feels works best. I look forward to listening to more of your thoughts.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A sad refrain set within another rhyming and half rhyming flowing verse. You are using the repitition device once more to emphasise the reflective nature of this piece.

[Pure Evil]

Thank you John for at least reading it. I think I am just going to end my journey into poetry. Its obvious I am NO poet. But thanks for all of your reviews, they were all appreciated

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I think that would be a shame because if you practice and read the work of others you do have the potential to write well.

[Pure Evil]

I appreciate that John, coming from a true poet. But I don't see it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I am NOT a true poet. I am in awe of true poets but I try and I enjoy the attemps and the expression through words. So don't give up. Try shorter pieces and don't try to write a story each time. Some of your rhyming in each of your publishe poems is good and I think you can write rhymes. But try other forms such as senyru, free verse. You will have fun and most poets here will encourage you and support you.

[Pure Evil]

To be perfectly honest, I have NO idea what I'm doing...lol I don't know the difference between all the types of poetry there is to write...I rhyme words...that's all I know how to do

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Most poetry is instinctual. Few are writers of 'pure' form on here. I learned as I went along. I also copied some forms and had to google to learn them. It is fun.

[Pure Evil]

I DO have one that was written a few years ago while I was facing ALOT of years in prison that is different...but I hesitate to post it, as it is the first, and last attempt of a different style of writing

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Writing from emotion often produces the best. Look at it again. Most writers 'craft' their work. In other words they keep working it until they feel it is 'in shape'. What were you jailed for?

[Pure Evil]

As i've stated before, I'm a troubled soul. Aside from anything of a sexual nature, Ive done just about everything under the sun. I have ten felony convictions and have been to prison three times

[John Alexander McFadyen]

So lots of things to write about. Troubled souls need to write. Many of us are so trloubled and find the writing cathartic.

[Pure Evil]

I agree, it has helped to calm the demons.