Autumn Again

AUTUMN

School reopened and the days was filled with falling leaves of red and gold once more, as they did when Doris first fell in love with her beloved in the park. Keyren was there on Saturday, as he always was, feeding the animals.

Doris prayed to every god she knew that Keyren would not shout at her, that Keyren would forgive what Doris did last spring, leaving him hanging like that. The dog Keyren was petting raised its head, its tail wagging as Doris approached.

Keyren turned around and saw Doris approaching and immediately his bad boy attitude from school surfaced. “He-hello”, Doris stuttered, she felt scared as her beloved was looking very pissed off. “What do you want?” Keyren deadpanned. Doris smiled sheepishly, “I want to talk to you, get to know you.”

Keyren raised his eyebrow, looking suspicious. “Could have done that at school. I know you, you are one of those popular girls with guys fawning all over her. I don’t see you so desperate to get a friend that you actually need to get to know me”, he said before going back to feeding the stray animals.

Doris took a deep, studying breath. This was the moment. Keyren will either go out with her or be mad at her. She sat beside Keyren and handed him a leaf with a scribbled note on it, a poem she wrote for Keyren.

The autumn leaves fall as I watched and fell for an angel,

The autumn leaves of red and gold where I left words of love,

I see your lips; lips as soft as rose petals in spring,

I see your hands; the ones I yearn to hold as mine.

 

But I was afraid,

And I made tears stream from your eyes,

You asked me to be close to you,

I said we can never be and you went away.

 

Summer burned my heart with a searing pain,

I yearned for you every day,

Cried for my love which I so foolishly hurt,

Spent my nights wondering if my love would ever forgive me.

 

Autumn comes again as I sit before my beloved,

As I beg for his forgiveness,

For I am a human not worthy of him,

But yet I yearn for him and want him for my own anyway.

 

Doris waited with bated breath as Keyren read and his expression turned from annoyed, to confused then to surprise. Keyren put the leaf down, turning slightly towards Doris but kept his gaze down.

“So it was you”, Keyren whispered, “my stalker whose I fell in love with through the letters she sent me. The one which made me feel so hurt last spring I almost felt foolish for thinking somebody out there loved me.” Doris felt worse than ever, she had made her beloved think that she was just playing around.

Keyren started playing with his fingers, his cheeks turning red with anger and embarrassment. “So why have you come back, with some beautiful poetry asking for forgiveness as though I’m some girl. Is it a bet of some kind? Who can seduce and melt angry, sulky Keyren into a pool of gooey mess?” Keyren’s voice was so tiny, Doris had to strain her ears just to make out what he said.

Doris shook his head. “No. God no. I fell for you the moment I saw you here, tending to the animals. I followed you everywhere, the church, the orphanage…” Keyren looks up in surprise at that, “…I saw all the things you did. You are an incredible human being, you are special, so loving and generous with a heart of gold and I am, what? Some dorky, awkward teenage girl who talked too much.”

“You followed me to all those places?” Keyren asked, surprised. Doris nodded, feeling slightly ashamed of the extent to which she stalked the boy in front of him. “I had to watch you and hear you laugh, I loved seeing you laugh, it made my day. Then I began writing to you and my world was perfect. But when you asked to meet, I just…just…I didn’t dare…”, Doris paused for a while, looking for the words to describe what she feared at that time, “I was so afraid that you only liked me as what I portrayed myself to be on paper. I was afraid that when you saw who I really was, you would push me away.”

Keyren’s eyes widened but he said nothing. Doris rambled on. “I was so scared oh god, I love you so much that I feared your reaction. The summer holidays was pure hell, I missed you every single day, I longed to see you every day and I cried, oh god, I am so pathetic and my sister teased me the whole summer and oh god I’m rambling again, I do that when I’m nervous, by god am I shaking right now…”

Doris was cut off when Keyren placed the tips of his fingers over Doris’ mouth, a silent ‘would you just shut up’. Keyren looked at Doris, then flicked his eyes back down. “So tell me what you want. Tell me why you are finally meeting me here.”

Doris looked at Keyren, his cheeks were red and he looked so cute. Feeling determined, Doris played with the hem of her sweater as she slowly proposed, “Would you go out with me? Like have coffee somewhere? It doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to, but we can just sit and yeah…” Doris trailed off, jittery all over and dreading Keyren’s answer.

Keyren bowed his head lower, making his hair fall and hide his face, feeling shy. He smiled a little before saying, shyly, “Yes. I’ll go out with you. Like on a date.” Doris could hardly believe her ears. She felt joy cloud her mind, she was ecstatic.

“Oh, thank god!” was all Doris said before she started laughing merrily. Keyren smiled seeing Doris’ reaction, his face was tomato red by now due to embarrassment.

All around them, the falling autumn leaves and the stray animals watched them, watched two young people as they talked and laughed merrily, before they walked away together, happy.