My Definition of Invasive

you know that excitement people feel when they get to dissect their first frog in high school? it's not here but it sure has blood in it.

In my hand I hold a scalpel

Something I shall use to reclaim your love.

Drugged like an animal,

I carry your body and lay it on the operating table,

This sofa.

And gently place the tip of my knife over your chest

Specifically, over your left bosom.

Meticulously, its incisiveness begins to slice southward.

Leaving a trail of wet crimson on your skin.

Your foolish doctor then recalls something horridly vital.

The anesthesia, of course, to drown the pain.

Most surely it hurts but you did not even flinch.

Belatedly, I feed you the pain-killer.

Through your eyes.

So we could proceed.

And that you could be mine to break open.

My hands circumvent that line of red

And dexterously shape it to the assume the form of a massive, bloody excavation.

A chiaroscuro of vessels and flesh embraces me.

Black blood pulsates through razorwire veins and muscles.

How shall my fingers make it through?

Ah, your parts may be solid but their construction is weak.

Loose enough for my digits to dismantle.

I pull them out one by one to make way

So my extremeties could traverse.

A black hole now occupies your ventral body .

Now gaze upon your beautiful heart beating listlessly.

Fastened only by your ribs.

I scoop the mass of blood-pumping muscle and bring it to the light.

So icy yet fluid so warm.

I hold them close to my ears and listen with ecstasy.

Like a dadaist's work, it all made sense

As it conveyed no dub-dub-dub's or beating human sounds of any sort.

Just tick-tock-tick's.

I think of wristwatches and time bombs.

This symphony tells me that you are nobody's heart but mine once more.

Reviews

[Apryl Skies]

Very interesting. I do feel this would probably make a better short story than poem ( At least without a restructuring), but I don't know if I would describe it as gruesome as the previous readers, just visual. When it is read both literally and metaphorically it is a curious look into weakness and role reversal. This has a very peculiar perspective as it explores control. Some how the sadist becomes the weaker of the two. Pretty well executed however I am not sure it is exactly my glass of kool-aid, but I can usually find something to grasp out of many different types of poetry.

[Sir Joe]

Marvelous!
Looks like a prose poetry.
This could also work well as a short story. Just add some more events to the plot and I'm sure it'll be a great work again (=

[Arwen Evenstar]

I find it interesting and makes me think about my own situations im going thru. makes u actually stop and think. i like the line "A black hole now occupies your ventral body."

[Miss Coral]

That was a journey- gruesome, somewhat creepy, but brilliantly executed. Wonderful imagery and emotion. The period at the end of each sentence threw me off at first, but as I got into it, I was able to hold onto the rhythm a bit more. Really interesting piece. Nice job.

-Coral-

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

This made me smile until I read the last line, horribly amazing my friend. I should skip some of its morbidity yet I will get to see the whole picture of it. I really was enjoyed by how you put up the scheme so vividly riveting, profound in its medico-linguistics, not much with its technicality yet you brought up the naive point of having to hold the scalpel, and bring up the side of 'having your heart at last'. I wonder you could be a good surgeon someday. Inspired by the first cut.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Hmmm, the play of light and shading among vessels and flesh? A strange feeling piece to be sure. The imagery might have been a bit over the top here and there but the idea more than makes up for it in value. Interesting.

[Dan Bullock]

Phoare. (Is a new word)

I felt that, it made me shudder but in a weird excited/scared kind of way. Stunning use of language, twisting so quickly and yet keeping that strength throughout.

Bloody hell, amazing!

[~Unashamed Love~]

I love it, it's goory and sweet at the same time, great job!
=)

[R J Askew]

Marvellous. I'd just read and enjoyed your Gout poem so came to this in pursuit of pleasure. And found it. I was smiling all the way through at the archness of it. What is theeeeesssssss lurrrrrrvveeee sing? You scalpel worked well. I especially approve of the line , 'I hold them close to my ears and listen with ecstasy'. We, who cut your poem open with our scalpels, say Yes! A beating heart! You scallywag!

Gulp...I've just read some of the other reviews. Gruesome? No, no, no. Intellectually wry.

[J]

I like how you've been able to step outside of yourself and present a different viewpoint: one behind a cold, calculating killer. This gave me the shivers, it really did.

So, this makes me think that the persona you've adopted is a jilted lover... coming back to reclaim love in the most brutal, vengeful way. It freaks me out that there are people out there that actually think this, and carry through with it, y'know?

Very macabre.
A chilling piece.

[Emily B]

I suppose there are many ways to take a life and make it your own. . . many ways to steal a heart and make it your own. I like the gruesome detail. I like the brightness of your imagery.