The View Inside My Window

The windows are boarded up

There is old solid wood and rusty nails blocking the view

The girl inside screams when she wakes up

Her eyes are wet like dew

She wakes up crying because of the searing pain

Her heart is full of cobwebs

She wants to leave this old house and jump on a plane

She gets up and runs down the steps

The view outside my window is happy

The view inside is not

But I don’t want to get all sappy

simply because my stomach’s in knots.

No matter what I feel I will always keep my cool

Though I fear the world might find my secret

My tears are far from beautiful

fore that I refuse to take credit

The pain inside my heart, your heart, and her heart

That is the view from my window

Although it’s hard to find the beauty in the sad parts

Maybe one day I can wake up without tears on my pillow

One day, one day, one day

It runs through my mind

I dream that the peace will come and stay

I truly hope life will choose to be kind

Reviews

[dan]

This piece is filled with the deep abiding presence of loneliness. It is almost a feeling of being choked from within, and it is a very powerful presence indeed. And it's not as if you consciously tried to impart that feeling; the fact that it is there as a matter of course reveals a gift for storytelling you possess. Very nicely done. take care...dan

[HippieSoulPunx]

Wow, this is...incredible. The sadness, loneliness, like living in an abandoned house and becoming part of the decrepit belongings, yet towards the end, there's an acceptance of hope. Not quite enough to accept things and move on, but enough to accept that there is a light, there is an exit that'll lead you to better days. Incredible.

[h d e rushin]

I love poetry Raveness. Because right behind it's paper trail (and I mean right behind it) is always
this synizesis or sitting down of symbology. One might ask, "did the poet really mean that when
they wrote it", or "does it matter that the poet didn't really mean that when they wrote it"? So
poetry becomes a kind of magic trick where the magician shows you everything you didn't
think would happen. Or like my little cousin said to me the other day, "you just cant tell
strangers all your business". And I guess she has a point, especially when applied to a love poem,
which this is. The less you tell me about relationships, the more (magic) I believe has happened.

I have no criticism of any poem written by another person living on this earth. And I wont start now.
You have a critical eye for the importance of eternal relationships. Sometimes those relationships
are viewed from the comfort (or discomfort) of your own window. A whole lot of folks refuse to
see others from this perspective, so they go through life saying mean things and hurting others.
Finding the sad parts about others only make finding the good parts the stuff of hope and great
poetic endings. You have so much to say my friend....you just have to find shorter ways to say it.

And to that, you're already a remarkable writer.....dana

[emmajoy]

There are so many feelings expressed in this poem, its words near run from the page! Whether or not you're afraid of exposing your fear or merely need to escape it, who's to know but you. You've taken great care in finding meter, in displaying your thoughts and phrases in an inviting way. You show amazing potential, you're more than able to use words as emotional and colourful tools.

Have sent you a private message. Thank you for sharing.

[terry smith]

I used to rent that apartment..now I live under the stars....Great poem, R :)