Who cares?

Who cares about the girl who sits and reads?

Who cares about the girl who silently weeps?

Who cares that my teacher made me write this?

Who cares that this is a stupid assignment?

Who cares that I'm falling?

Who cares that I'm breaking?

Who cares that I wish he would care?

No one cares because I am invisible.

No one not a single person notices that I am there.

That I am screaming for someone, anyone to care.

Reviews

[h d e rushin]

instead of an empty cry to the sky, this plea of "who cares" has become a rather favorite theme
for young people. Even with facebook , twitter, instagram, and all the other ways that modern
folk 'connect' their cries and lives to others, you hear this cry more often and often. But in
the remarkable context of a poem it becomes far more than a cry. It becomes an allegiance
to poetry itself and thus has a duty to rectify and even influence the writers of the future.
Because Raveness, to cry out is to care. And to cry out poetically is to challenge the invisible
muse that we care to write to.

amazing poem...dana

[Raveness]

Thank you so much!

[terry smith]

maybe someone other than "he" has noticed you but you can't see them...nice poem!there were times when I felt less useful than a bookmark.

[Richard🖌]

For one, I care!
About each of the issues, dear lady-poet, I care, because I care about You, the talented and honest person behind your poignantly powerful words and the emotions that drove them out of you.
I see you, feel you reaching and crying out and cannot help but respond, accordingly, with warmth and caring.
You keep writing about it, because there is no better release and therapy than writing it down in a creative and beautifully honest and open way.
That which is inside you speaking in so profound a voice, I, too, went through, so I fully and completely relate to and understand what it is you are feeling when your pen danced across and down the page so excellently.
Smile and be happy for the opportunity to embrace all the challenges and situations life throws your way, because they are the teachings you're offered to build character through, as each one you deal with and overcome, and if you need a helping hand along the way, I'll always be here, or someone equally as caring who's been there and done that.

Your poem is marvelously structured and easily conveyed in a strong poetic voice, wrapped-in pure emotion and beautiful honesty, and this tells us so much about the wonderful young lady wielding her skillful pen, too. : )
Thank you most gratefully and honestly for sharing You with Us through the magic of your fine poetry … hugs 'n blessings! 〜 Richard

(psst! throw you in a comma after "No one," in your penultimate line) ;]

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful emotion and thoughts in the poem. The poem is honest and direct. I could feel the need to be seen and the want to be hidden too. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Raveness]

You just get sweeter and sweeter :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure to read your words. Please send read requests.

[Shaquana Adams]

You captured her sadness pretty well. At the end I really felt what she felt.

[softlyspoken]

i love it short simple and to the point

[Tinfoil_Fairy]

If you ever were to read this out loud , I think it should to be done by starting in a whisper that evolves into a scream. Very well done.

Only thing I would change is the 8th line from "No one cares because I'm invisible." to "No one cares because I am invisible." to stress that the girl IS invisible, or at least her feeling that she is. The way it is right now, the "I'm" puts the "I" into focus which would be a contradiction to the invisibility of the girl ;)

Oh, and I think that there should be a comma after "No one".

Anyway, I hope you don't mind my suggestions :)
Take care!

[Katie Alexander]

Great job capturing the desperation of the girl. I wish I knew more about her.

[Raveness]

well that girl is me pretty much and I want to make at least a short story about it but im kind of blocked

[Katie Alexander]

Oh my gosh I hate that feeling.

[Kai Rollins]

Ahh darkness. I enjoyed. Thanks for the read.

[Raveness]

welcome anytime!

[Dy]

Very nice write. Only thing I see to point out is in the last line it should be for not from. Great job.

[Raveness]

oh yeah i saw that and thank you