Nice imagery of the Grand Canyon. Kind of a commentary on the life-cycle. Leaves you questioning and re-reading it. Great art. Also, some Christ like references (even if it was for an ex). Write on!
The ending is sadly sweet, I love this type of poem and (although I can't write them) I think this is one of the best I have read. Well done, this is something to be proud of.
this is really dark, but it kinda shows a little bit of hope at the end. it has a really nice flow and its very relatable. the only thing is that u should be more consistent with your punctuation. other than that, this really good :]
On that note, I loved it, good and deep. Just like it should be and there's nothing to say that hasnt already been said. Thanx for sharing and welcome.
You made a mistake that is extremely common among young writers: Switching back and forth from having punctuation and not having punctuation. The few commas are too sporadic to suit your poem. I would either punctuate the whole thing, or get rid of what you did put in (if I were you, I would do the latter).
Living in AZ, I appreciated your reference to the Grand Canyon. It's strange, looking down into it. It really is a vast void - perfect allusion for this poem.
//Than I see// This should be "then." "Than" is usually used for comparisons, whereas "then" is for time.
Overall, good job. And welcome to the Writers Cafe. I hope you enjoy yourself here.
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