Falling

If you noticed, I have two different versions on this story; they just take two different roads. I just want to know which one is better.

Falling, falling, why am I falling? The wind rushing past me at an alarming rate, I scream, but no sound comes forth. I twist and turn as the ground below comes closer and closer. Nausea overwhelms my body. I close my eyes and await for the inevitable thud.

Some time passed before I was able to open my eyes again. I no longer felt the rushing wind passing my ears. I no longer felt the sensation one gets when they are falling. Opening my eyes, I felt alone; I felt used up.

I was in a bed, but surrounded by people I do not know. There was a needle in my arm connected to a tube that my eyes followed to a bag filled with some clear fluid. As I looked at the unfamiliar faces that were in my room- was it my room? Pushing that thought aside, I scanned those around me. They were all crying, sad faced and teary eyes.

A woman entered the room and told the others that is was time to let go. She walked up to me and stared into my eyes. They were black, black as night, as though all life has been sucked from her them. She took my hand and gave a firm grip. “You need to let go. Just let go and all will be free”, she continued, but this time was directed to me, “All suffering, all pain, all of this will end as soon as you let go. Just let go…”

Her words faded out and I was in complete darkness. I closed my eyes, but when I opened them again, I was hanging on a ledge. The wind came rushing past my ears again; I do not know why, but it was a comforting feeling to have this come back.

I was suspended by a single piece of rope tied around my chest and ran under my arms. Granted, it was not the safest way to hang from the side of a skyscraper, but I felt secured. I took in the city view. Everything was so small; everything was so far away. The cars passed by below; occasionally a street lamp would falter, but later on would return. I did not want to close my eyes for fear of this placid scenery leaving me.

I could hear the woman’s voice again. “All is a lie. There is no peace. There is no safety. There is no you.” At that moment, my arms began to tingle. It started off as a slight tickle, but grew and eventually became a burning pain striking my hands. Looking side to side, I could see my arms slowly fading away. At first only my fingers disappeared, but eventually this feelings began to creep all throughout my arms, inching its way up, stealing away my flesh and bone.

Panicking from this, I twisted and turned. I looked for any way to be rid of this place; to be rid of this woman. My arms disappeared completely and with it my security to the very thing holding me. Falling, falling, why always falling?

This time there was a thud, but it was not as painful as I would have thought . I opened my eyes and saw around me the faces of men without any emotion, but all that was seen were their faces. Plastered on the wall, some score of men, unknown to me, but a story each one held.

I noticed that I was in a single room, four walls, but no door. Looking to the ceiling, words, words, nothing but words scattered about above me. I was flanked on all sides by darkness. The words above me gave some illumination and the eyes of the men on the wall continued to stare, staring ever so deeper into me.

I tried to discern what was above me, but no correlation was to be found to tie any meaning to the random assortment. There was slight shift in the foundation and I could feel a tremble in the ground itself. The floor beneath me began to shrink. Shrinking and being replaced by a deep void with an unknown depth.

I was now trapped, isolated on my own island of a cold and unloving rock. WIth a riddle above my head, the judgmental faces surrounding me all around, and darkness underneath, I was now here, but for what purpose?

From the depth came the sound of a horn, a calling. A signal, but to what, who may be the receiver? The walls around shook and it took all efforts not to be thrown into the abyss below. With one voice, the faces around began to speak,

“Forgotten you are to me;

Separate you are to be.

Do not regret your action,

For you have joined your faction.”

A second voice appeared to me, defending me in this cause,

  “You cast him out in love?

I mock who lives above.

In him you see a fool;

In him a useful tool..”

In this, two of every three faces spoke,

“You seek to lead him astray;

him I made in dust and clay.

My own creation rebel;

Diluted, my image fell.”

The second voice responded and with him a third of the faced supported.

“To you we must away;

To lands in earth to play.

Destroy the land you made;

To you, memory fade.”

The words above became brighter, shining and shaking the room around me. The faces that supported the voice that defended me fell from their position and faded away to the darkness below. The words shifted and moved, scrambling, but forming an image. As the image took shape the remaining faces began to speak again,

“I am the one, the last word.

I am in you, all accord.

I am in you, in peace searched.

I am the one, in love lurched.”

With this, the floor disappeared and I again fell for an unknown reason. The image above was now complete, but before I faded from view, I could discern some features. It was a face, the face of a man. He was not attractive nor was ugly, he just was, he just is. Staring at a fallen man going ever so deeper in the darkness around.

Falling, falling, will this ever end? There was not much pleasure in this, but for now I was away from any judgment, I was away from the one judging. I took some small comfort in that, I felt safe to be away from the light and covered in darkness. My victory, however, was short lived.

I hit the ground, this time harder and more painful. I was lying on the ground of an empty street. The street was perfect, without any deformities. Standing up from my position, people began to appear walking next to me. Before long I was in the center of a large crowd all going in one direction. It was still dark, but the lamps above provided adequate lighting. I weaved my way to the outer rims of the horde only to find that the exits were blocked off and we were only allowed to move forward.

Not knowing exactly what to do, I followed the crowd. After some time, I noticed that there

was a small dirt road to my right. Up ahead I saw an exit, but none from what I saw took this path; they avoided it and veered from the opening. I followed suit, but there was one man who took this road. I could not tell you who he was, but he looked familiar, as though he was from a dream.

Behind him followed twelve men, but before they fully exited, one of the twelve stepped back onto the road and began again to be one with the massive horde that seemed to walk ever so away- Away to what? I looked back at the remaining eleven and noticed that their leader was nowhere to be seen, vanished without trace. I focused again on the men and witness them dropping dead without any reason. Thier blood began to seep onto the dirt road, turning the ground to a murky red. One of them was still alive, still walking, but he too was eventually taken.

In a sudden spark, I section of the horde behind me branched off to take the dirt road, the

road only taken by a few. What foolish men; have they not seen what happened to those before them? Nonetheless, more and more people began to join them. I continued on my course, without regret, without a second thought.

Growing tired of this, I finally started to question why I was even walking. At first it just seemed right, but now something was off. I was still on the outer rim, so I looked to my left. Suddenly, I was stuck by an unseen force, knocking me down. I attempted to recover, but my advisory was too quick. Before I knew it, they pinned me down and tied my hand together.

My vision returned to me and I noticed that it was the woman from my past. I continued to struggle, but to no avail. I really hate this person. She knelt down and whispered in my ear, “You have seen, but you have yet to witness. You have heard, but still you do not listen. What more must be shown? What more must we do?” She grabbed my hair, pulled my head up, and bashed it against the ground below.   

I awoke in a bed, the same bed from last time, but I was in the room with the faces. The faced were gone, but instead there was a single man standing in front of me. In his right hand there was a horn and when he spoke the ground shook. “You have been shown the way, yet you do not follow. I must now endure the pain in which you brought upon yourself.”

My voice was weak, but I managed to breath out a response, “I am in pain, I am in shame. Allow me this one request. Allow death to take this pest.”

The man stood back and raised his horn. The sound that proceeded shook the room and the very foundations. He spoke again, “You seek death, but she will not find you. You chase after her, but she shall flee.” With this he stepped back and faded into the background. After his departure, the faces returned saying,

“In you we have given much;

To you he gave his own touch.

Love, she will never find you.

Death with always miss her cue.”