Chapter 16 - Happiness?

I feel like I haven't been on WritersCafe in years, though I have been very productive this weekend. I completed my contest, put up a new poem, and read 54 read requests! Anywho, back to the matter at hand. I've been feeling a lot happier lately, and I mean a lot. Which is a good thing, right? Right. Except for the fact that all of my inspiration for writing comes from depression and darkness. What am I supposed to do if I lose that little part of me, the part that somehow inspires me to keep writing about those horrid feelings? I don't think I can write about happiness... happiness has always seemed so far away, a goal that I aspire to but it feels so fake. For me, happiness is not tangible like depression and sadness are. I guess if you've only experienced happiness it's easier to express and write about, but how can you know happiness if you've never been upset/sad/depressed? To put it simply, I'm scared. I'm scared to be happy, because I feel like if I am happy, I'll have nothing to write about. Frankly, I suck at writing happy and positive things. Noticed my last two poems haven't been my best work? It's because I'm losing that piece of me that has the inspiration to write dark things. And it's frustrating. Nobody wants to be sad, nobody wants to be depressed, but what if your best work comes from that?

I suppose that I could write about my past of sadness and depression, but all of those memories are slowly slipping away and being replaced by "better" ones. I'm willing myself to forget, and as I am I'm losing my inspiration. I guess I could write about losing inspiration, but how long does that last until you get tired of writing about the same thing? I don't know what to do.

Help...

 

Listen to: Pieces - Sum 41

Author's Note

Frustrating.
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