Ocean

Ocean

 

Ocean, a pale blue-eyed

beauty that stole my immediate

attention like the perfect sunset,

like a beauty never viewed

before.

 

Brushing her aroma along the

sand of the beach.

Ocean’s core, so deceitful, I

can barely get a read on it.

 

Usually with most I can

become intimate but Ocean holds

back, she has been polluted for years.

 

I cannot blame her. I cannot blame

Ocean for being over-cautious of

polluted contents.

 

My immediate and unwavering

attention is drawn to Ocean,

pale blue-eyed Ocean with

curves that ride in the wind

in a sultry fashion.

Reviews

[Snuggles McClintock]

for some reason, I am very fond of "Brushing her aroma along the sand of the beach,"
Though that line seems a little out of sync with the rest of the first half of the poem.



Usually with most I can
become intimate but Ocean holds
back, she has been polluted for years.

I cannot blame her. I cannot blame
Ocean for being over-cautious of
polluted contents

these stanza's seemed out of place, as if they belong to separate poem altogether. I think if you removed them, the piece would flow smoothly.