Greed's Avenue

Greed’s Avenue

I no longer have a friend,

As a result of the heinous crime of murder.

 

The victim was the second pea in my pod.

He made one wrong move,

And turned onto greed’s avenue.

 

The suspect,

A man in a jealous stupor,

Intoxicated by envy and gluttony.

He followed my friend as he turned onto greed’s avenue.

 

He took the shiny dagger

And drove it into the penetrable back of my friend.

 

He had total command of the knife,

As he twisted it violently seventeen times.

 

Carelessly, he weaved it with disregard for my friend’s life,

And total regards for the “Sugar pills” in my friend’s coat pocket.

 

Reviews

[deeps]

Hmmm! This is intense really,
Sounds so serious.
Well written.

[Rachel]

the only thing I would change was the "pea pod" line, becuase the rest of your poem is so serious, it just sounds out0of-place and silly. good job!

[ElizabethAnn]

this holds tons of captivating emotions...it's very well written, too. my favorite line is 'A man in a jealous stupor, intoxicated by envy and gluttony." because it rightly portrays a greedy person. good write.

[Davlin]

Jesus, dude. This was intense. The anger and hurt and expressed wonderfully in this piece, made even more tragic by the last two lines. Thank you for sharing this, it's a truly well done piece.

[Ophelia]

This is very interesting. I like it a lot! The large font and caps lock is a bit much, but it adds to the anger in the poem. I like the emotion that this portrays. Overall excellent job. Keep up the good work.