Feel This Pain

Welcome oblivion... yeah!
Here's a pernicious thought
Crawl back to your source of happiness
Taint it with nondescript alienation
Slip a smile full of venom
and add the overkill of guilt
Break that whip upon my back
maybe then I'll feel your pain

This is where Heaven breaks
Should I care? I wish I didn't
Add to the weight upon my shoulders
and steal the emotions I keep for myself
I wish I was somebody else
maybe then I'd have a heart to share
Maybe then I'd be good enough
instead of wilting like a common weed...

Reviews

[just Penny]

When you write dark, it has the raw, real credibility that gnaws away at memories of similar experiences. I have my own key to the door to oblivion as I am a frequent flyer too :( The pain and torment in the first stanza is palpable, while the second stanza reeks of hurtful discontent. There are those who delight in emotional abuse like they have some self righteous crusade to destroy the worth of another. In-your-face poetry. Just how I like it. Excellent writing here. Penny

[A. H. Pinley]

Like the Facelift cover from AIC.

[paras]

such a lovely write . splendid! hope even sparks in the darkest hour :)

[EmilyBianca]

I love this. It's amazing.

[Ashley Griffiths]

This is another great piece. I really like the raw emotion and imagery.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

The last two lines are a well executed ending...

You really grabbed the bull by it's horns!
I like that you are not afraid to step outside of your box...

A captivating write, Elliott!~xoxo~

[lissalovesyou]

INteresting write. Very well expressed. Write on!
lissalovesyou:)

[Luna Zerimar]

I loved the ending.

I can feel everything...

[L4rn13]

Expressed very well and the flows nicely resounding thoroughly. Interesting write.

[Arabella Song]

God, I love your vocabulary.

"This is where Heaven breaks
Should I care? I wish I didn't
Add to the weight upon my shoulders
and steal the emotions I keep for myself"

So relateable! Good job! :D