Night Tripper

Counting rubies as they sparkle in a field of roses
A strawberry kiss to lift your blues
I offer the afternoon of pure poetry
though you seem content
with the other side of the rainbow

Wish you were more than mere illusion
though your face strikes my mind
A bolt of gold has struck the grey
raining down with crystal purity
Such devotion exists only within my dreams

Just stay out of reach
and I'll want you forever

Counting snowflakes as they pattern my world
They glimmer with every artificial light
I offer the escape to a lost countryside
beyond these hills exists the horizon
A wonderful place to get lost in

Someday I will not need you
but until then, remain with me so...

Reviews

[Charlie McEwan]

Another fantastic piece that drew me in until the end.
The following lines:
"Someday I will not need you
but until then, remain with me so.."
struck a chord in me that I was able to deeply relate too.

"Counting snowflakes as they pattern my world" is one of the most beautiful lines that I have ever read.

Thank you

[Luna Zerimar]

The last stanza. It's beautiful. Maybe more than beautiful.

[just Penny]

This is brilliant. I love it from start to finish. Stunning metaphor that really hits home, rich in depth and feeling, like "though you seem content with the other side of the rainbow" and "Counting snowflakes as they pattern my world". I enjoyed this very much, can't you tell? lol. Penny

[zephyr]

Counting rubies as they sparkle in a field of roses
A strawberry kiss to lift your blues
I offer the afternoon of pure poetry
though you seem content
with the other side of the rainbow

A tremendously beautiful write. We ask a lot of love and, I suppose, these kinds of demands are usually only met in our imagination. A tall order to say the least. But still when there is mutual, unconditional love or even unrequited, unconditional love, there can be peace. Sometimes, love does not look like what it does in the movies; sometimes, it is far less turbulent, lacking highs and lows; but that does not mean it is shallow or without meaning. Loving without expectation might be the trick. But then poems likes this one are no kick in the teeth. Really, a beautiful and eloquent write that could melt any cold heart.

[L4rn13]

Can strongly relate to this. We all crave things we can't have. Devotion is one of these things but sometimes we can't see what is in front of us because of the chase we currently run. Nice.

[Frieda P]

You had me at the first line....unrequited love and hope all in the same breath, hopefully one day 'devotion' will appear in reality too. Nicely pen'd.

[Emily]

I love you wording! Good job Elliott!