Swamp

Can taste the sores in my mouth
it feeds the poison in the pit of my stomach
Kept those jaundiced thoughts in my head
sometimes they make me wish I was dead
But the swamp in my mind knows
the sludge of congealed memories
smeared like s**t on the face of God

I want to be a recluse
hidden by the stale trees and diseased earth
I wish the sun would just burn out
because this damn heat is killing me
Last withered hours, dirt in my veins
we all expire sometime
Why bother being born at all?

So why even bother?
We play the melody to taps
Taps...

Can kiss the dark blood on my arms
Insects crawling over my eyes and lips
almost a friendly scratch from a lost soul
but an infected kindness all the same
Stop pretending to f*****g care
I'll fake my happiness as long as your fake concern

Wasting away, eyes blur and skin crawls
watch the veins fall useless within
No one loves a blank mannequin
whether it bleeds is immaterial
In many ways we're all dirt
we are born the same way, we die trying to live

We're all drowning in the same swamp
but I refuse to fight it

Amazing how many can claim empathy
vision filtered through a flowery lens
Where's the scum, the denial, the anguish?
I want you to hate me
I want you to curse my f*****g name
because I'm tired of making excuses

Chewing my hands to bite out the nerves
if I can't feel the cold surface of my bedroom floor
I don't have to open my eyes
I could still be asleep, this could all be a nightmare
and I won't have to pretend
for a day longer

Not much left in me that isn't decaying
so much left to say in so many little words
Found faces of my so-called friends
pasted on the walls in my sickness
Again, we ride this carrion carousel
there's never a prize for anyone who isn't blind

Reviews

[Red & Blue]

I think this must be the lengthiest write you've posted here (excluding the stories). A very powerful write.

My personal favourite lines

''But the swamp in my mind knows
the sludge of congealed memories
smeared like s**t on the face of God''

Brilliant tittle. Brilliant poem.

[Kelly Scheppers]

The intensity of your words is electric, Elliott...

[Lexi Villanueva]

So sad I want to cry I love this!-100

[Clara]

Some very powerful imagery conveyed here, Elliott.

The 'last withered hours, dirt in my veins'

Chewing my hands to bite out the nerves
if I can't feel the cold surface of my bedroom floor
I don't have to open my eyes
I could still be asleep, this could all be a nightmare
and I won't have to pretend
for a day longer

A very gritty write, I like it.

[Pryde Foltz]

I hate that you are feeling this way, but this piece is so strong. It reads like a horror story. At least we have poetry, right?