Thirty mornings in a row.

Thirty mornings in a row

I wake with a start

Holding my hand out

I swear I can still feel your fingers tangled in mine

I look

I stare and I sigh

I see no indent where your head would have rested

on the pillow I save for you

The room is dark and the wall covered in shadows

the candle that you lit for me

stands on the nightstand cold and the wick is still white.

It was all just a dream.

I swear the wind is apologizing to me for you

Whispering for forgiveness

For stealing you away when I opened my eyes

Maybe this is our reality

and our life is really but a dream

In that case

Until I hear you sigh my name

smiling at me, eyes closed,

as you fall asleep

I will dream of you

Waiting with the patience of a saint

Listening for the wind

waiting for the pleads of merciful pardon

Knowing in the morning I will wake

alone with the mist of the memory of you beside me