And I you...

I came upon the morning stars

And dipped my dream self back into your arms

Holding out for the moment when

You told me you could feel God.

And it was beautiful, in your head

And I was stunning, lying asleep in your bed

Waiting for that second when you saw me

And I you, entrapped as ever

Hanging on for dear life.

Reviews

[The old me]

very good job. the flow is interesting to me, like it's not like your normal scheme, but it worked here.

[Mark]

You have something strong here. I think a little more pruning could help.