Freshly cut

My ever needing of closure opened another door.

This time you were behind it.

My gratitude topped the charts.

Your mystery came in a close second.

You gave me validation and as much of yourself as was right

It kills me that timing was on our side for once.

 

My return flight couldn't come soon enough

I waited in the airport sick with symbolism.

You were there in spirit and not in body.

I curse you as I take my first drink of coffee.

"That is just like you, so present yet no where in sight"

The anger still in my eyes as the flight takes off 6 hours later.

 

I told everyone that you were suprisingly attentive.

I admitted to myself that it was as I had always expected.

I was the girl who turned you on a lifetime ago.

The first and last whim you ever kept hidden.

That much was clear that night.

You were aware in that moment we could never be strangers again.

 

The tone of regret I take when I speak of you is fake.

It is a lie I use in an attempt to heal reopened wounds.

My heart beating rapidly and loudly as I try to find my self

My tired mind is still looking for closure.

I am not going to get that any time soon.

You would have it no other way.

 

Reviews

[C.T. Bailey]

Which is worse..to desire closure for the past....or actually get closure, but it really not be what you were looking for? Many times when we think it is "closure" we seek, what we are really doing is unlocking the pent up longings (you know...the ones DEEP inside) and giving them carte blanche to do with us what we will...even though what we truly need is escape. The sadness and disappointment that follows the let down of that final moment of closure....will always be far worse that the pain of not knowing...and that is "Freshly Cut". Whether flowers or emotions the beauty fades before long and the poor soul is left with the pain of the loss....all over again. Sarah..the more I read, the more I like. This is magnificent.
Thank you for sharing this excerpt from life,
Todd