Wiggly Dr. Dre in the house.

As I browsed my friend Vision's myspace profile this early morning, I came across an interesting sight that has baffled me. I have always wondered if the sponsored link box at the top of the page some how was customized by the little myspace men who live in my computer to match the personality of the person whose page it appeared. Today I think I got my answer.

 

The first of the three links was for an amazing cd that featured the sugary creepiness of the Australian kids group the Wiggles. It boasts that you can pay your money (I believe it is about 14 bucks American) and recieve a cd that is personalized with your name or the name of your child in it. Yes, for this low price you can hear that wierd sickly Asian guy sing your name around 40 times on the cd. (It actually gave a number) To this I say, "Damn you Wiggles, and your devices of persuasion!!! You win again. I wonder if it sounds like a spooky computer voice like in "Drop Dead Gorgeous. One can only hope. That would make for a beautiful cherry on top of a creepy cake.

 

The second link was for a survey at a random site entitled, "Are you Dr. Dre?" No, I am not Dr. Dre. I am a suburban born white girl with very sheltered views and a very narrow mind. I am almost offended by the insinuation that I could be a gangster rapper. The closest I get to a hip hop mogul is when my hip pops when I walk. I suppose that makes me a hip pop mogul. Or is it mongrel? I don't know, probably a bit both. Maybe a mongrel mogul. Yes that is more like it.

 

(On a side note, what happens if you are Dr. Dre and you take that quiz? Wouldn't you expect to get all questions correct? You be angered if you get that you are Will Smith or the BackStreet Boys. I would imagine that it must really grind your stones to have put so much time into an image of being a tough gunslinging G from C-o-m-p-t-o-n and then be called Celine Dion. Next time you are smokin the chronic with Dre, right as you pass the forty, ask him if he has taken the quiz. When he b***h slaps you and starts spouting words like, frontin, poser and honky lips, you will then know that he must have found out he was Clay Aiken, and the assault will almost seemed warranted.)

 

The third and final like was for a site offering to "Pimp" your phone by adding house ringtones to it. This is fine, accept what if this brings up some serious memories for you? What if the word House reminds you of the time the bank seized your bungalow and you are forced to live in a small tenement that smells of old spice and urine with your molester uncle Ted and his 21 year old wife? One can almost come to the conclusion that this is a conspiracy set forth by the psychiatrist community. They would do anything to boost profits. F*****g headshrinkers. Always looking for a quick buck. Plus, house music is annoying.

 

The answer to my question is complete and clear. Yes, they do specifically pick the links based on the personality of the profile owner. Don't believe me? Well, I suppose you would call it it coincidence that when Vision was at my house he wiggled a lot when I told him I was Dr. Dre.