I am sick of (with) you

I made a mistake

I opened my eyes to you

woke myself to the sight of that face

the one that I saw when I thought you were something special.

I recognize the lines and creases in your forehead

the lashes of your eyes are longer now

but the color in the middle is just as dark

and I am sick of (with) you.

I tried to tell my friends

that I was just about ten seconds from healed

and I insisted that when they look next I will be brilliant

But man was I misleading because I am far from whole

and I am as dull as I was when you were all I could think of

Try to imagine me with a new halo and free flowing hair

because that is what I want more than anything else

but I am sick of (with) you.

So take  your ghost 

and take a few steps back from my heart right now

There is nothing left here for your scars

I don't want to be your lady in waiting (savior) for a single moment more

Damn these open eyes and

damn this curious heart, ever in love with an ideal (imaginary) you.

For now,  want to grow up

I know I am almost there, 36 years later

and yet, I am sick of (with) you.