My Shadow

My shadow left me in the dark,
Darkness that shrouded me and intoxicated me.

 

When I groped for support, I felt the pain,
to feel the touch, all in vain.

 

reminded me of the times....

 

when we played and we ran
and we danced hand in hand

On the beach when the sea was loud
we played hide-n-seek
with the moon behind the cloud
I kissed her cheek

 

I dint feel the touch.....

 

the reverie broke
darkness spoke

"The shadow is a friend of the light,
not yours, the blind knight"
 

Reviews

[Enigma]

That was WOW!! Really good writing. Especially the last two lines. The imagery used is beautiful. I can still see the moonlit beach ^_^
Great Write!!!

[darkgurl]

WOW! This is very well written, I like your write it it's touching in a way.

[Barry S. Maltese]

Yes, I agree that the flow is off a little bit, but I like the feelings that come through your words. Your need for something more. I am certain that as time goes on, you will become an even better writer. Nice work

[ShanZ-Turn]

This has a lot of feeling, however it reads a bit oddly for me.

When I groped for support, I felt the pain,
to feel the touch, all in vain.

I am not sure what you are trying to express in this verse. pain of no support? yet there is a touch in vain?

I dint feel the touch..... I am not sure if this is supposed to be Don't or Didn't so, just a small typo (the type i make many of lol)

"The shadow is a friend of the light,
not yours, the blind knight"

Is this the darkness speaking to you? and if so, who or what is "The Blind Knight"?