Battling life

Am I a good mother?

Or am I a fraud?

Do I simply just do what I need

And the rest is flawed?

 

How can I succeed or do better?

I wonder every day.

Yet I continue on,

In the exact same way.

 

Every day is a challenge,

Each action chore.

I count down the hours,

Until there is no more.

 

I sleep when I can.

To escape all of the pain.

I am sad all of the time,

Is that completely insane?

 

My life seems complete,

With a family of my own.

I have some much love

Yet I feel all alone.

Author's Note

Edited Version.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a very realistic picture of life . . . ups & downs . . . battling one minute, trying to get some peace the next. I especially like the way you're questioning yourself here, which is so true to the way we all do it lots of times. I also like the realistic description of trying to do better, then not changing much at all. This is a balanced picture of how life can be. Good job.

[Jisad Oneida Cho]

I like this! Very raw, emotional snapshot of how I think we all feel sometimes... it's that feeling that you don't want to talk to anyone about but you know it will pass, you feel kinda dumb for it and just hope it's gone soon, yet kind of like the feeling too... I totally get it. And being a mother I guess just adds in that whole other level to it.

You certainly have talent, please keep it up!

[Shannon]

The first stanza. We all feel it.

I see paralysis here. The need to do... something. Mired by internal muck.

Nicely penned, I might review the third stanza. Not sure the repetition serves you well.

Powerful regardless.

[Pseudo-Girl]

Thank you for your feedback. Yes I have been looking at this, thinking this is the stanza that needs to be edited. I personally do not like the repetition either.

[Shannon]

You are welcome. But sounds like you were on a similar train of thought as me.

[Pseudo-Girl]

I have played around with some different options for stanza 3. This is what I have just come up with but I am still writing other alternatives.

Every day is a challenge,
Everything a chore
I count down the hours,
Until there is no more.

I would really appreciate your thoughts or opinion?

[Shannon]

I think the flow is the flow is much better.

[Lorry]

You're not insane, you are human and being human involves so much of us, that doubt becomes a natural distraction. With doubt comes questioning, and when we question ourselves, we usually don't get a very high mark on our own opinion of ourselves, because we are too busy being ourselves and just coping...until we don't cope anymore.
That is my personal assessment of what I have and sometimes am still going through, and if anything, can only say that when I got to that point, well I recognise a lot of what I went through in your words. Depression isn't a flaw, it is vastly misunderstood by a lot of people and is an illness like any other, just less visible.
you portray depression perfectly here, and questioning it is important to get the help and support that is right personally. Some people find it hard to talk about, but we need voices like yours to be heard, because the change it can make in someone, knowing others understand, could be just the set of ears it needs to reach.
Great job, on a tricky subject to write so clearly about.

[Pseudo-Girl]

Thank you . I really hope so. My aim was to try and capture part of my own mindset, in hope that it will resonate with others.

[R. J. North]

Not sure if this is about depression but I feel like it could be. Just being on the cusp of it. Knowing you have good things and good people around you who love you, but still doubting yourself and everything you do all the time and just being crushed by your own negative thoughts. Like being trapped by something that isn't there. But idk that's what I'm getting haha. It's good! would love to read it again if you make edits!(:

[Pseudo-Girl]

Thank you for your review :) Yes it is. Something I battled with years ago and has recently reared its ugly head again! I guess the main idea is that depression is not descriminative and can affect anyone.