Where's the Cream
A Poem by Pryde Foltz
Warning there is one wee curse word at the end. 
Where's the Cream
What do you mean? You don't have any cream? the Starbucks-spoiled princess did yelp; she lamented; and let out a scream. Holy Green Mermaid! she carried on. I see skim, 2-percent, and whole milk, there's even a fermented bean juice, rotting away on the shelf!
Half and half is not the same, my petulant apron-clad friend. Put that water-downed atrocity away; you put it away in the bin!
the fattier the better. This cup is my nirvana; calories don't count in heaven.
Now, I know what your thinking; Our little princess should switch to decaf tea The problem, our little princess ... our little princess is me. So take my advice for another day, another day you want to live, that is. For without my morning cup of joe, this princess is a fire-spitting dragon.
From my dead gripping talons, will you get my cup of caffeine; so wipe that silly smirk from your face; soothe the beast ... and get me some f*****g cream!!!
© 2013 Pryde Foltz
Author's Note
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Featured Review
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I am never getting between you and your caffeine... that is a dangerous situation. In fact, it might be safer for us all to just invent a way of introducing it to your system intravenously. But on the plus side, apparently that wonderful chemical leads to some fantastic writing out of you, so we might actually up your dosage.
By the way, I love that your "I don't care what you think of my Starbuck's Princess" side and how you're unapologetic about it. You do such a good job of the perspective that I'm willing to bet you could write a story about two year old throwing a tantrum and actually have the reader sympathizing with what we would normally perceive as a annoying incident.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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11 Years Ago
Thank you, Matt. It's all about perspective really. I mean how ridiculous to get so upset over such .. read moreThank you, Matt. It's all about perspective really. I mean how ridiculous to get so upset over such a small thing. (PS. I am not really this bad.) We are so blessed, but yeah cream is better. Part of my philosophy in this life is to laugh off as much as you can, and laugh at yourself as much as you can, leaving the fretting for the big stuff. So glad you enjoyed and another fantastic review, sir.
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Reviews
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11 Years Ago
Yes, cream and coffee are magical.
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11 Years Ago
I love that image...
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11 Years Ago
Glad you enjoyed. Long live coffee. Thank you, Steve.
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11 Years Ago
Amen to that...always a pleasure.
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11 Years Ago
Glad it gave you a giggle. Thank you, Ankit.
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11 Years Ago
You are most welcome sis .
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11 Years Ago
Indulging is essential. Thank you, Poppy.
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11 Years Ago
Yep, we all have to go back to herbal teas. Thank you, Mark.
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11 Years Ago
Yes, black is trihards. lol. Thank you, Blue.
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11 Years Ago
Oh I eat way more fat than is recommended and I do just fine. It really is the sugar/fructose/glucos.. read moreOh I eat way more fat than is recommended and I do just fine. It really is the sugar/fructose/glucose rich foods in the presence of fat and on their own that are reeking all the havoc. Thank you, Auntie.
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11 Years Ago
Yeah, I did want to warn people up front about the curse. FYI, I only swore in my head at the coffee.. read moreYeah, I did want to warn people up front about the curse. FYI, I only swore in my head at the coffee guy. Thank you, Frieda.
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11 Years Ago
Well hell he fookin deserved it but that was sweet of you. ;-)
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Stats
486 Views
45 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on September 25, 2013
Last Updated on October 11, 2013
Author
Pryde FoltzVancouver, Canada
About
My written work can be found on amazon.com
https://goo.gl/o8sLUi
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/prydefoltzwriter/
twitter: @Pryde Foltz
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