The Wisp, Chapter One

Sudden terror squeezed her throat shut ... it wasn’t just the eyeless sockets ... something--something that shouldn’t be there--rolled inside his skull in waves of

I

A Dream

Bara walked along the boulevard. Above her head, gentle gusts blew through layers of whispering leaves. Those with the lightest grip let go and cut red and gold traces through the air before finally settling soundlessly on the pavement below. The sun still shone brightly, but a pale moon had crested the horizon. It was a lovely evening, but Bara walked alone. Not another living soul--an empty town, at a time when the residents of Windfall were usually rushing home for dinner. How strange? 

But then, there was a very insistent tug on her sleeve. Bara looked down. A little girl, of maybe four or five years old, looked back up. 

The girl wore a red pea coat with a matching beret. Curls, not far off the shade of Bara’s own strawberry blonde, scooped down and just brushed her collar. Dark glasses with white frames--heart shaped--hid her eyes. The girl said nothing, but a single tear escaped from below the plastic rims and trailed down a plump cheek.

“Are you lost?” Bara asked her. “Do you want me to help find your mommy?” 

The little girl nodded and held out her hand. Bara reached out but was jostled from behind before her fingers could take hold. The street was full now. A steady stream of men and women pushed and shoved as they passed. Most peculiar. They all wore sunglasses.

Bara looked down again. The little girl was gone. Where? The tot now stood under the shade of an oak tree, a few meters away. A tall man, made even taller by a black top hat, had her by the arm, and she struggled to get free. Something told Bara he wasn’t the girl’s father. A protective spirit surged in her. Bara fought her way through the crowd and threw her slight sixteen-year-old body at his massive frame. The man merely stepped back, but he did let go of the girl. 

“Run!” Bara urged her. 

The girl didn’t hesitate. Her short legs took flight, and she disappeared into the crowd. Bara would get no chance for escape. 

Dark gloved hands reached out and took hold of her shoulders. She looked up, opened her mouth to protest, but never uttered a word. Because under the brim of the man’s top hat were two empty black holes where his eyes should have been. Sudden terror squeezed her throat shut, and her face screwed up in revulsion. It wasn’t just the eyeless sockets. His eyelids quivered, and for a moment, something--something that shouldn’t be there--rolled inside his skull in waves of shiny black. 

The man gave a wry smile and let out a chuckle that cracked with charge. His black hands moved up from her shoulders and took hold of her throat. His fingers stiffened. 

The realization hit. He’s going to kill me. 

Bara struggled, her flailing arms making contact with no one and nothing. The man’s smile grew wider. His grip tightened, closing off her windpipe. He lifted her from her feet. Her toes just grazed the ground below, and then she was in the air … only for a moment. His hands loosened from her throat, and Bara fell to her knees. And then the man took flight. 

With her face hidden under red-gold curls, a girl about Bara’s own shape and size held him aloft with only one arm. Curiously, she also wore a red pea coat and beret.

“She is mine,” came her hissing voice. 

Then as if the man were no more than a rag doll, she tossed him aside. Before making contact with the asphalt, he exploded in a burst of silver and screams. Charges trailed and sizzled through the air. When the sound and movement finally died down, a silver dust hung for just a second and then dropped with a surprisingly heavy thud. The wind blew away the dust, and the man was gone.

Thinking the nightmare over, Bara looked to her rescuer. Her rescuer turned her head to look at her. Bara’s nightmare wasn’t over. There stood a mirror image--same shape, size, hair, and face. A doppelganger. Everything was the same, everything but the eyes. They were black and as empty as the man’s had been. Slowly, the doppelganger cocked her head to the side. With a hand as gentle as a venomous snake, she bent down and reached out for Bara’s cheek. 

“Hush, hush,” she cooed and stroked. 

Her youthful mouth turned suddenly down, and she began to transform. Two heavy folds grew from her nose, dragging her cheeks until they sagged below her chin. Crow’s feet formed around black eyes, spreading until they reached a now grey hairline. Finally, deep crevasses pocked and ran across a once-smooth forehead. 

Bara stared at herself as an old woman.

“I am here now,” her demented double reassured. “Everything will be just fine.” 

But everything wasn’t just fine, not even close. The doppelganger smiled a very wide smile that grew wider, jaw-cracking wide. Wrinkles bent and twisted under the strain of an ever-increasing black hole of a mouth, a mouth that threatened to erase its face … suddenly it closed and returned to normal. The doppelganger turned her head as though at a sound and then back at Bara. 

“Soon,” she whispered, and then just like the man had, disappeared in a storm of silver and electricity.

The doppelganger was gone. The man wasn’t to be seen, and all the others were gone too, but Bara wasn’t quite alone. A solitary dark form approached. The dark-haired boy! 

Everything would be alright now. This boy Bara knew well. He was tall and lean with broad shoulders, his strides long. His hair, dark and wavy, shown with copper in a sun setting too rapidly to be real, but it didn’t matter because Bara forgot about the racing sun, forgot the nightmare that had just occurred. He was so close now … 

The sun slipped below the horizon. The sky disappeared into night. Bara heard her own breathing, fast and shallow. His was strong and even. She reached out. Her fingers found his warm cheek. She stepped closer, and he opened his arms. Like someone had thrown a switch, the moon lit up the sky. Stars burst through the night. His eyes, vibrantly blue, smiled down at her. His lips brushed her mouth. She returned the kiss, wishing it would go on forever. It didn’t. 

Author's Note

Reviews

[M.E.Lyle]

Well, it just goes to show, you just can't trust anybody with dark black eyes. This one is an attention getter.
I know that's not a real word, but who cares.
I love it, and you're off to a great start.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thanks M.E. The novel is written and out there on amazon. If you are interested in hearing a little more. I have posted an audio to the first two chapters and there will be more to come. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hbvbISE0s8&list=PLq7iGUqmER5DFjXz6n0pCfPTnh7WNi0KO
Be please if you had a listen:)

[Forest Green]

Intriguing beginning to an interesting tale. Very good subject line. Will read more. It has a nice twist in the plot already.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Steel.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Holy Crap, Pryde!!
This is fantastic!... You write this genre extremely well!
I am pleasantly surprised to read the development of such a dark mystical storyline..

Intricately woven details here.. NICE!!~xoxo~

[Pryde Foltz]

LOL … I'll take a holy crap with pleasure. Thank you, Robbie.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

It's my pleasure... good to read this!~xoxo~:)

[SquinklaPsyOps]

I like the style you used to grab the reader's attention is very professional written. I am also buying the book, hopefully it would be nice to hear it in audio book

[Pryde Foltz]

Really glad you enjoyed. I hope to do a full audio book but that will be a bit down the line. Thanks again, SquinklaPsyOps

[Nusquam Esse]

I love surrealism, especially when it takes a contorted creepy twist into nightmares; that being said, this was superbly done, and I definitely enjoyed it. I am intrigued to know where you came up with the name Bara; all I could think of is the Japanese meaning (my fault for being multilingual). Bara (薔薇 or more commonly ばら) means Rose! I really like the way you end this chapter, the simple line "It Didn't" really hits hard. I thought you were exclusively a poet, so I am surprised and thrilled to see you have expanded into other frontiers of writing!

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Nusquam. No, I began my creative writing with prose. Been plugging away at it for more than ten years (twenty if you count university essays). Bara is just a play on the original name I had chosen which was Barbara. Many of my earlier readers thought it sounded old fashion. I did spend some time in Japan and so maybe that had something to do with it. That's nice isn't, its connection to the rose?

[Nusquam Esse]

Heck of a lot longer than I, that is for sure. I have only been writing for maybe 2 years. As for if University Essays count... I think that entirely depends on if you were doing them because you wanted to, and that you were expressing genuine creativity. I never did in my university experience, so it wouldn't count for me. I certainly think it is nice; although I don't think people would really use it often as a name in Japan.

[Pryde Foltz]

I try to bring creativity to all I do. I did quite enjoy the writing of most of them; it was now I knew I want to be a writer.

[wordman]

901 reads I can`t imagine I thought 300 was great lol
it must be that Canadian personality

[icelandicblue]

A book you minx- good for you. Gorgeous imagery love the cover and title. I am intrigued as well because nothing good ever comes from ones doppelganger. You've got the gift Pryde.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Icyblue. Mostly hard work though, I think.

[icelandicblue]

Oh I don't doubt that for a minute. I think it's fantastic.

[Pryde Foltz]

Glad to hear it. One never knows with their own writing.

[icelandicblue]

Our words are like our children and we are very protective about them even if we give the illusion that we're letting them ride their bikes to a friends house on their own. A very good friend of mine and poet once told me, "No one loves your words as much as you do." But that does not mean that they can't be loved almost as much by others.

[Pryde Foltz]

Just like your children:)

[redflutterby]

Wow...ive been out of the loop and didnt realize you had a book coming out. I'll be ordering it of course. Love the first chapter...truly. It grabs and drags you into the story. Fantastic!!

[Pryde Foltz]

Thanks, Red. So glad you enjoyed it.

[redflutterby]

I'll be putting it on my kindle later on. Can't wait to read the whole book... ;-)

[genocide]

i like it it's a good book hon i thought you only wrote poetry

[Pryde Foltz]

Thanks Tormentor. No, I write prose, too.

[genocide]

what's prose hon i don't know what that is

[Pryde Foltz]

Prose is the sentence and paragraph form of writing. Basically it is not poetry. Although some poetry can be prosaic.

[genocide]

cool i sent you a request for the chapter of a story called no mercy the intoduction to one of my favorite female vampire charthers i hope you can read it hon

[Pryde Foltz]

I am a bit busy these days, but I may be able to get to it later.:)

[genocide]

yep your work is really good this year im going to finish both my books

[Tam Warink]

I remember this! I always wondered how it turned out. Looks like I'm off to Amazon to find out! :)

100 smokey wisps

[Pryde Foltz]

Thanks Tam. Yes, I am just working on the format for the paperback. It should be ready in a day or two and then begins the marketing. Great see you around these parts again. Don't be a stranger.

[Tam Warink]

Oh, well, I'm not really back-back... just stopped by to clear the mail off the stoop and feed/say hi to the critters. That my neighbors noticed and brought crumb cake and coffee is quite delightful, really! :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. We'll save the dishes for your return.