Serendipity

He slid his hand up the side of her face and grabbed a chunk of her hair. Giving her a look of pure lust, he pulled her face towards his until their lips connected in a passionate kiss. Their tongues met and danced around each other's as his hands traveled down her womanly body until they found their way under her skirt. She smiled at his touch and pulled him onto the bed only few feet away from where they stood. 

* * *

After Aaron climbed into the car and drove off, waving goodbye in his usual happy-go-lucky manner, Karlie felt herself crash. All the painful emotions she'd been trying to keep at bay were finally catching up to her. She should have known; she couldn't run away from those nagging, incurable thoughts always lurking in the back of her head. Sure, she could avoid them with drugs and leeching on to other people, but eventually the drugs run out and her friends had other places to go. That's when the feelings hit the hardest and with much more intensity than if she had just gave in to them in the first place. Now that Karlie was alone, her emotions ganged up and turned against her. 

Along with being her friend and routine f**k buddy, Aaron was also Karlie's biggest distraction. He was a good outlet when she needed an escape from herself, which was often, especially given recent events. Now, romantic feelings were not even close to existing when it came to Aaron and Karlie, they were both too damaged and detached to be emotionally available for anyone and especially not each other. This was their understanding; their agreement. To make each other feel alive for a few minutes and then they went back to simply surviving. This worked out very well for the most part, until it was time for him to pull up his pants and for her to smooth down her hair. In the end, they were both left feeling empty and emotionally unsatisfied, not that they would ever mention this to each other, of course.

Aaron was a selfish lover. He didn't mean to be, but he was nevertheless. It wasn't that he went around looking to sexually exploit attractive girls, get his satisfaction and then go on his way while laughing deviously to himself. No, it wasn't that Aaron had malicious intentions; it was just that when it came to sex he always learned to keep his partners at arm's length… sometimes literally. He couldn't be vulnerable. He couldn't show submissiveness. He couldn't get attached. Because as much as it would kill him to admit it: Aaron was afraid. These weren't necessarily irrational fears either; these were defense mechanisms Aaron had learned from experience.  

Surprisingly, Aaron was actually quite the romantic at heart. His ultimate dream was to find a girl he connected with on the most innermost levels, fall in love, get married and have a swarm of children running about. All Aaron truly wanted was to be a caring husband and a loyal father. These weren't dreams that were going to come true anytime soon and had to learn that the hard way. 

In the past, Aaron had fallen in love. As a young seventeen year old, he met Anna; a beautiful, intelligent, caring young woman who loved him deeply… or at least he fooled himself into believing she did. In reality, Anna was a controlling, manipulative nymphomaniac who slowly began to take over every aspect of Aaron's life. She forbade him from seeing his friends, thrust vegetarianism upon him and kept him in her sight every second of the day. Aaron was blinded for three months, deceiving himself into believing that this smothering relationship was love. Eventually,  the realization that she never actually cared about him hit. And it hit him hard. 

Every bit of common sense Aaron possessed flew out of his mind as he stumbled outside. The world was the sickeningly bright, the colors becoming florescent. Nothing was real. The world was blurred as the sun violated his eyes. He was so angry. Furious. Wait, no he wasn't. He was disappointed, let down, hurt and scared. Scared. He wasn't scared! No way could he be scared. 

Completely dazed, Aaron pulled back his arm and struck his fist against the concrete of the sidewalk. His hand broke on impact, he heard his bones crackling and snapping. A wedge of rational thought was able to shine through the hazy storm in his mind and told him to go to the bathroom to get a towel to stop the bleeding. Woozily, Aaron made his way into his house and in the bathroom. Looking into the mirror he couldn't take it anymore and fainted, falling hard. His head crashed against the edge of the bathtub and began bleeding. 

Shortly after Anna there was a girl who really was beautiful, intelligent and caring. Her name was Raina. Aaron and Raina connected beautifully, she understood him which was something Aaron always longed for. He could tell Raina anything and she listened with wide appreciative eyes. She was innocent but not ignorant; in fact, Raina was extremely bright both academically and in life experience. Raina was  the most empathetic person Aaron had ever met, embracing the pain of everyone around her and loving them unconditionally. Aaron began falling  for her but this being only a couple months since Anna, he panicked and sabotaged the budding relationship. Aaron cut off all communication with Raina and went back to sleeping around. He had hurt himself so no one else could. 

Aaron never got over Raina. It's been over a year and she was still embedded in his mind, torturing him with what could've been. 

Karlie was a very inhibited lover. She always wanted to show her innermost lust and passion but every time she tried in the past she'd been shunned. After several abusive relationships and sexual assaults she learned it was best to stay quiet about what she wanted. Losing her virginity and self-esteem at the young age of fourteen had to be one of the primary sources of Karlie's sexual anxiety. A few months after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and post traumatic stress disorder, Karlie's best friend and savior, Donald, confessed his love to her. Karlie's naive little heart soared at his generic sweet nothings. She had loved him for over a year now they got to be together! It was a fairytale come to life! Over the next few months, Donald promised her marriage and children as they grew older. He promised he would stand by her thick and thin and never leave. He told her he loved her and promised he always would. These promises were all obviously empty but Karlie was too innocent to pick up on their transparencies. 

One day, Donald and Karlie were alone, laying a bed  in  an empty house. Donald creeped up to Karlie's ear and whispered, "Karlie, I need you."

She didn't reply.

"Karlie, baby, I need you. Please."

"You said we would wait until marriage," Karlie whispered hesitantly and unsure. 

"But I love you now and we will still get married." Donald persisted with his charming, loving look in his eye. Karlie stayed silent, secretly hoping that maybe if she didn't reply, he would stop asking.  "Please, baby, I need you. This is how I show my love. Please can I show my love for you?"

Several seconds later, a reluctant Karlie eventually nodded. 

After that day, Karlie's seat on Donald's pedestal gradually fell. Donald would often become enraged for no particular reason and lash out at Karlie, screaming, cursing and berating, leaving her confused and despondent. Donald had slowly inched into Karlie's personal life, pushing out everyone else she was close to, so he was the only thing that remained. Karlie was all alone now so she had no other choice than to take Donald's outbursts. 

Karlie grew to believe every single insult Donald flung at her. He was her best friend AND her lover after all. He knew everything about her, so if Donald said Karlie was a terrible, broken person then she was, right? He knew her better than she knew herself. It made sense to listen to him, didn't it?

Soon, Karlie lost her role as the girlfriend Donald always showered in compliments and became an annoyance that he would f**k whenever he pleased. He made sure he pounded it into her head that sex was all she was good for. She lost all self-confidence and became a slave without even realizing it, mechanically going along with anything Donald wanted to keep his anger at bay.

Inevitably, Donald became bored with his sexual servant. Karlie was no longer innocent or chaste, he couldn't corrupt her anymore; her will was completely broken. Seeing that his mission was complete, Donald broke up with Karlie and moved on to the next undefiled virgin. 

 

Since then, Karlie always felt so awkward and ashamed when bringing up her sexual fantasies.  She felt that she didn't deserve to have an opinion. Even though she knew it was a ridiculous notion, it had been ground into her head so many times that she was just something to be used, she couldn't get away from it. Karlie often acted very unsure and reserved in a sexual context even though she was really quite a sensual being. When Karlie was high, however, she was free from the mental chains that locked down her real feelings. She was extremely candid in her speech, actions and best of all, her sexuality. Secretly, Karlie was a sex addict, she just never showed it. Several times a day, she would retreat back to her room to masturbate needing the stress-relief that orgasm brought. Sex while sober did not have that same calming effect, in fact, Karlie psyched herself out so much that she'd never had an orgasm during sexual contact with another person. Karlie certainly was an interesting mix: a prudish sex kitten. 

Aaron and Karlie enjoyed making each other jealous; especially after sex. Much too often would Aaron mention this cute girl's number he got at Publix or how much he cared for Raina, causing involuntary anger to spark up within Karlie. To get him back, Karlie would tell him about the best she ever had in great detail with a boy she loved. This made Aaron's mouth tighten up while he grumbled under his breath. They both enjoyed seeing the other tense up with envy; it was their ego boost. Now, their mutual jealousy did not indicate romantic feelings for each other, the only thing it showed was that Aaron and Karlie just had very fragile self-esteem. 

Walking back into her house, Karlie couldn't help but cry. Having sex with Aaron was cold and impersonal and even though admitting it would show she wasn't as stoic and rational as she'd like to be, Karlie couldn't deny that she felt unbearably lonely. Over the past four months, Karlie had been adamant on being fully independent. She refused to exclusively date, tell anyone about anything and emotionally distanced herself from everyone she was once close to. This change did not come out of nowhere of course, changes like this rarely do, it was her relationship with Drake which set Karlie off on her independent streak. 

Karlie and Drake were in love, truly in love, even though neither of them ever said so outwardly, it was obvious. Some would even say that Karlie and Drake were the epitome of love. They were completely themselves when they were with each other. Karlie, who never learned to verbalize her feelings told Drake everything and he understood every single thing. When they were together was the only time Karlie would say exactly what she thought in the most candid way and Drake never once judged her but grew to love her even more with each word she spoke. Karlie and Drake never ran out of things to talk about. In fact, they usually couldn't stop talking. Much too often would they go to McDonald's to eat and would end up sitting in the parking lot debating morality for hours, totally forgetting why they were there in the first place. During sex there would be frequent breaks because one of them would begin a deep conversation. They'd casually discuss the world around them while nakedly embracing each other's sweaty bodies. Drake and Karlie clicked in every way possible. 

Karlie and Drake's relationship seemed to have fate and serendipity perpetually sitting in the background, giving them helping nudges at every corner, always pushing them together. They both learned deeply valuable things from each other. Karlie taught Drake to feel and Drake showed Karlie how to be free. Even the most unwavering skeptics had problems denying that Karlie and Drake were brought together by destiny.  They were perfect. 

Since everything in this world inevitably has an end, Drake and Karlie did too. Unfortunately they weren't an exception to this rule. 

It was a rainy night and Drake was driving to Walmart to pick up some bread and marshmallow fluff for sandwiches. His incessant Christmas music was playing from the radio and he smiled remembering how Karlie hated it. He began considering randomly dropping by Karlie's for a little bit; she loved it when he came over without warning. Karlie strived on surprises. 

Being lost in his thoughts, Drake didn't notice the blaring headlights speeding towards him from his left. In a blink of an eye, Drake's truck was totaled and he was killed by a drunk driver in an SUV. The driver impaled his SUV on the driver side of Drake's truck, ripping apart his body, making him die instantly. The drunk driver got away with a concussion and a pretty gnarly hangover but overall, he was fine. Not that we can say the same for Drake. 

When Karlie found out about the accident from Drake's mother on the phone, she froze. Her body tensed up and a wave of chills shot through her. Her lips tensed up and became a narrow line across her face. Her eyes grew frigid and blank. Karlie remembered the conversation she and Drake had about death one night. He was very intrigued and curious by what happened after death, he rambled through all the possibilities, absolutely enthralled. Drake wasn't religious though he could be considered somewhat spiritual. He knew there was something out there but just wasn't sure what. He believed in everything and nothing at the same time. Karlie liked how Drake's beliefs had no way of being labeled. Their conversation ended with the conclusion that they would find out what happened after death when death came to claim them. Now the only thing Karlie could think of  was that Drake knew what happened and how much she desperately wished he didn't. 

After Drake, Karlie became afraid of dependency. She realized how fickle and unpredictable everything really was. She learned that death wasn't as distant as she always thought. She knew she couldn't control life… but that didn't mean she wouldn't try. Karlie did as much as possible to separate herself from anything that would eventually lead to feeling that agonizing pain again. By cutting out people and any attachment she could protect herself. Karlie aged decades in months. She could no longer afford to be a carefree teenager and became a middle-aged widow. 

Karlie plopped down on the couch, giving the painful emotions and memories free rein over her mind. She couldn't fight them, she knew that. The only thing Karlie could do now was to accept it. Karlie sprawled out on the couch as the feelings of lonely and emptiness overcame her. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she realized how much she really did miss Drake. 

Aaron felt empty. Usually, he could just shrug off flings without a second thought but occasionally they plunged him downward into a spiraling depression. This was one of those times. The only thing Aaron could think about right now was Raina. He cringed at how he fucked that up. God, Aaron, you are such a goddamn idiot. He thought to himself. Aaron was surprised by how much he missed her, he never missed anyone. He leaned back in the backseat of his friend, Jim's car and sighed. 

"Ready to get wasted tonight, dude?" Jim asked with a mischievous grin. 

"You know I always am, man," Aaron replied, putting on his carefree smile that he always wore. He wasn't about to tell Jim that he was depressed after having emotionally detached, meaningless, passionate sex. Jim just wouldn't get it, he'd envy it. He also wouldn't understand why Aaron's feelings for Raina was so strong. Besides, drinking would help alleviate this emptiness, it always did. 

* * *

Getting drunk didn't help Aaron the way he thought it would, if anything it made him lonelier. Well, it wasn't really the alcohol's fault; his loneliness was probably due to the fact that Raina was there at the party. Aaron looked at her from across the room, she was just so beautiful. Her wavy, chestnut hair cascaded down her back down her waist. It fell into her face when she gave a great, expressive laugh at something her friend said. Oh, her smile was so alluring, just radiating the beauty from her face. Aaron could't take it anymore. He had to get her back. 

"Hey, Raina," Aaron said, walking back across the room. He nodded politely to Raina's friend, who smiled and excused herself to get another drink.

"Hey, Aaron," Raina gave a friendly smile. Because that's what they were: friends. Just friends. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm good. You know, just chilling… what about you?" Aaron was surprised by how nervous he was. He was Aaron Calvin: unflappable, charming, a total ladies man. He was promiscuous for a reason: he could afford to be. He and Karlie had an ongoing joke about how how transparent his flirting techniques were, she often made of him but hey- they worked.

"About the same," Raina smiled uncomfortably, obviously picking up on Aaron's apprehension. It was silent for a few seconds as Aaron and Raina were flooded with the awkward waters of acquaintanceship. 

"Ugh, no. No. No. No!  I don't want us to be this way, Raina," Aaron burst out, unable to stand having this unfamiliar relationship with a girl whom he loved so deeply. "Listen, I really miss what we had back then. I'm so sorry that I fucked everything up the way I did but I can't stand this. Every relationship I've had since then has been meaningless and depressing because, really, the only girl I want is you."

"Oh, Aaron-" Raina began but Aaron cut her off. 

"The thing is... I think I'm in love with you. I know it's crazy. God knows that I know it's crazy… but you just understand me and I understand you." 

"Aaron, please-" Raina tried again but Aaron was on a roll. No one would interrupt him now. 

"I've never loved anyone. Hell, not even my cat. I really miss you, Raina. So much more than I can bear. I'll be so much better than last time. Last time I was scared of being used. I was scared of feeling emotion. We got together right after Anna and I was terrified of getting hurt. I've tried to block everything out and move on but I never could move on from you. It's just… I don't know," Aaron finished, his words simply petering out leaving them in abrupt silence. 

"Are you done now?" Raina asked carefully, surprised at his monologue. Aaron just nodded, also surprised at his outburst. "Aaron, I… I just don't know,"

"I can totally understand why you'd be hesitant with me, Raina, I was an a*****e last time but I love you. I really, truly love you. I won't f**k it up again. I swear" 

"It's not that, Aaron. It isn't. I'm with someone right now. It's pretty serious actually. I'm really sorry. I felt so much for you back then but obviously you weren't ready. Now that you are ready… Oh, god. I am just so sorry," Raina stammered. She was really sorry, you could tell. Raina felt the pain she was putting Aaron through and she hated herself for it... but she just couldn't risk this. She couldn't sacrifice the beautiful consistency she had now for someone as unpredictable and fickle as Aaron. 

"Oh, yeah, I totally get it. I'm sorry. This was silly," Aaron tried to give a carefree chuckle but it just sounded pitiful and somewhat creepy. "So who is the guy?" He tried to ask casually, again only sounding somewhat creepy. 

"Um, Steven. You've met him a few times," Raina noticed all the pain spreading through Aaron's face. She watched his insides miserably shrivel up and it was all because of her. The guilt was almost unbearable. Raina didn't even know Aaron felt so strongly about her. He seemed to move on in no time after the break up, always flirting and hanging around a new girl each week. In fact, seeing that he was over her  is what encouraged Raina to go out with Steven in the first place. 

As if he knew he were being talked about, a tipsy Steven appeared on the scene.

 

"Hey, Raina. We're out of beer. I'm going to run up to the gas station and get some." Steven barely noticed the shameful Aaron standing there as he kissed Raina on the cheek. Raina shifted uncomfortably as she looked over at the boy who just confessed his love to her. 

"Ok, babe. See ya later," Raina spoke hesitantly. Not sure how warm she should be to her boyfriend, afraid of hurting Aaron further. Aaron just stood there, watching Steven and took another swig of his drink.

Meanwhile, Karlie had dissolved to a puddle of tears on the couch. For the first time since Drake's death, she's let herself feel the pain. She wasn't trying anymore to block out the grief and god, did it hurt. She missed him so much but there was nothing she could do. He was gone in the most permanent way. Oh, how she wanted to be with him. She needed to be with him. Crying hysterically, Karlie stumbled from the couch and grabbed her car keys and ran out the door. Even though driving in the emotional state that Karlie was in wasn't the best idea, she knew this was important. She needed to be with him

As Karlie was sitting at a red light at the four way intersection that led to the cemetery where Drake was buried, a new wave of tears washed over her. She completely fell apart as her head dropped down to the middle of the steering wheel causing the horn to loudly blare at oncoming traffic. Karlie barely noticed  and continued to sob. She had no one in this life, no one cared or understood her like Drake did… and he was gone. Gone. Everyone else just wanted to use her and leave, she couldn't really blame them either; she was always so naive. As soon as she was getting over Donald and was finally happy, life (or more appropriately, death) just had to step in and rip it all away. She was all alone now. Karlie's worst fear came true, she wasn't independent or strong on her own. All she was was a crying little girl who would always be dependent on someone else. 

The chorus of honks and beeps behind her jolted Karlie out of her trance of self-loathing. The light was green. Karlie brought her head up and wiped furiously at her eyes as she hit the gas. Just as Karlie made her way through the intersection, so did a driver to her right. Even though he had a red light, he assumed it was safe to go because Karlie's lane wasn't moving, besides he wasn't in the best state of mind anyway. The last thing Karlie saw was the glaring headlights blinding her eyes. Though it's sad to say, that was the first time in months she felt at peace. She was going to be with Drake again. 

Raina sat nervously in the corner, checking the time and her phone continuously. Steven left over a forty-five minutes ago, he should've been back by now. She pulled out her phone again to check the time and just as she did, it started to vibrate. Raina smiled, she was getting it a call. It was probably Steven telling her there was traffic or something. Raina grabbed her phone and walked out onto the porch to answer. 

Aaron sat on the fading, ripping leather chair in the corner of the room, dejectedly sipping his beer. He couldn't believe he was feeling so upset about being rejected, he never felt this miserable before. Just as he took another swallow he noticed Raina come in from the back porch, looking shell-shocked and teary eyed. His love and sympathy for her quickly overcame his pride and Aaron jumped out of the chair and walked over to Raina. Up close, she looked even worse, absolutely crestfallen. 

"Hey, Raina. What's wrong?" Aaron asked, truly concerned. Raina just shook her head and started crying harder.

"It's Steven… he was at an intersection. There was an accident. He's dead." Raina's explanation was interrupted as she began bawling again.

Aaron was frozen, staring at her. While most would regard Raina's loss as nothing but pure tragedy, Aaron knew it was fate. In fact, he felt at peace for the first time in months. He finally got to be with Raina again. 

Author's Note

I'm sure I have some errors and typos I would prefer if you just ignore my little blunders and pay attention to the story as a while.