I Lose

My body lay there

.

I had crossed

The barriers

.

Space

Time

.

.

With you

to feel you

to hear your words

.

.

the warmth of you

the words honeyed

the voice hypnotic

.

.

warm

sweetened

mesmerized

.

.

Lost

.

.

.

Shudder

.

.

My body awake

.

I lose.

Reviews

[A.A.]

Looking at the other reviews, it seems most people took this to be a dream? Perhaps it's just me, but I first I read this as something rather different, and much darker. Temptation, yielding, something like that? I guess some barriers are more readily crossed than others.

[Prritiy]

You are right its not exactly a dream. it is a mixture of emotions-said unsaid.

I am honored to have your touch to this. Thanks a lot.

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

The imagination is a very powerful thing and capable of making you devise the most amazing scenarios for y your life. It truly is a sad moment to be jolted back to reality

[Prritiy]

yes it is :), thankyou for your kind visit.

[The dark story]

simple yet really touching. the last line just blew me away. it sounds so shattering unlike the bliss of being in with that treasured person which you have expressed before them. that line makes all that bliss an hallucination. i liked the style here. pen on, amazingly touching write.

[Prritiy]

Atiba Thanks a bunch for your kind comments and gracing my write, am glad you liked it. :)

[StoryTellerWriter]

but after more analysis, you actually won a great deal :)

[Prritiy]

yeah i did :) a few nice words/ lines and not forget to mention feelings too :)
Thanks a lot for your kind visit.

[Cassie]

wow!!!! This is so nice, I loved every beat of it. Good one Prrtiy.

[Prritiy]

Thanks a lot Cassie for your gracing comments :)

[Stephany]

When longing haunts our sleep and pretends
To be real..... Leaving us just as spent
Had it been real. Well said

[Prritiy]

thank you so much for your kind words :)

[AYVID N]

Such dreams are so haunting and the awakening is so painful. We wish we would never ever wake up. A shudder ran through me as I read this poem Prritiy. Hats off for capturing the full extent of this emotion.

[Prritiy]

Divya absolutely right we never want to be awake when we are in this state, it was indeed a shudder that i wrote this. Thanks a lot dear.

[one sky]

The pain of losing someone is clearly felt here. I love the flow. The space used in order to give each pause, to emphasize more the feeling conveyed...the choice of words. A one-word line is powerful to clearly express the total feeling. Nice image, too.

Nice job!

[Prritiy]

I am glad you liked it and spared your precious time to say those kind words, thanks a lot.
read moreI am glad you liked it and spared your precious time to say those kind words, thanks a lot.

i try to photoshop the images to suit the mood and gist of the lines i write, just baby steps to learn that too :) Thank you.

[sivan]

interesting format... such a simple poem, naked of any excessive description it appeals to the reality left in a person. beautiful poem

[Prritiy]

thankyou so much Sivan for your kind words, am glad you liked it.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. What a great poem that speaks volumes. You are with him in your dreams , vision , in his art form feeling him and his honeyed words to you but then to wake up and your body is still there away from him. It has some sadness in this write...Wonderful as always...:)

[Prritiy]

Wow! Thank you Sami from my my deep down heart for such an understanding and wonderful review. am glad you liked it :)

You know what this was written as not exactly a dream but as in trance.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. Good to know...You are welcome...:)

[Prritiy]

.................. :)

[Sami Khalil]

:).........................

[Prritiy]

something missing flap flap....... :)

[Sami Khalil]

Hahaha....:)

[Prritiy]

:) ................

[Sami Khalil]

^^~^^ :)...

[Prritiy]

now its good :D

[Sami Khalil]

Hahaha....:)

[Prritiy]

always keep laughing my friend :)

[Sami Khalil]

You too...Smile and the world will smile with you , laugh and it will be a good medicine...:)

[Prritiy]

yeah :) you know what the oft repeated compliment i get is- ever smiling face :)

[Sami Khalil]

Hahaha...My compliments to you too...:)

[Prritiy]

:D ........................

[Sami Khalil]

^^~^^ :)....