I love you Mum

Ranting...

I love you Mum

I love you mum for your tight-lipped beauty and the way you flutter your lids in disapproval, fifty times per second. And those mind-blowing silences the art of stretching which you have perfected over a lifetime. A second short and we live and a second more and we die. For the Mount Everest chill. And for letting us feel atom bomb level heat without lighting a matchstick.

For sitting on judgment on your padded throne. In your time they did this and they did that. Girls kept their mouths and legs shut till their wedding day and thereafter opened them only at a tightly calibrated width. So it must be painful that a rotten apple rolled out of your womb? One that you’d happily donate to a bordello and spray your hands with your favorite sanitizer.

I love you mum for all the armageddons you set off in my life with an almost inaudible, infinitesimal word slipped here or there, obscure as a post-lunchtime fart. One which you could always later deny. “I never said that” your mantra. Your amnesia is a gift as my memory is a curse. And yet you remember the marks you scored in every subject as a toddler.

I love you mum for sitting there forever scandalized by something blasphemous the world did. Unchanging, abiding and enduring in your ironed cotton gowns, muttering, “You too Brutus” 

For peering at my fully made-up face and telling me I need a better nose. For putting on ten kilos in 3 months and telling me my middle is an inch bigger and I should diet. Yet I love you for being a pudding and still eating chocolate pudding every now and then.

I love you mum.  For being a mouse and a lion in the same breath. For going picnicking while sending me perpetually guilt-tripping. For  making me feel like I need colon irrigation and a lobotomy and a chemical menopause, all within 5 minutes of starting a conversation with you.  I love you mum for always looking like you just swallowed the Universe.  

Author's Note

To be heavily edited later....

Reviews

[The_Ancient_Rock]

Oh My... What are we doing?
Ahah I L... you! Forever and ever!

No homo thing! Whoever, whatever you may be.

So nice to meet people with more or less... the same view.

The first chapter is awesome... looking forward for the rest.

Damn... I wrote a couple or 3 or 4 poems...

You are writing a whole book!

Yay! Way to go!!!

I luv you my dear Mummy! ;) See... it's a tear drop in my eye...

:)

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Oooh mama mia! My book began write in my crib. She's quite a muse me mom. Thank you thank you for liking the book.

[The_Ancient_Rock]

You are most welcome.

;)

[Arundass TP]

Beautiful emotional writing. Good work 👍

[Coyote Poetry]

I adored the poetry.
"I love you mum. For being a mouse and a lion in the same breath."
The above lines is what a mother suppose to be. Someone must be honest with us. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Chris Shaw]

You know I just had to read this one again Ditzy, two years down the road. Wondering whether anything’s changed? Have you got the seal of approval yet?

Chris

[Robert Trakofler]

AHA, this is where you get that golden cutting tongue of yours:) It is no secret how much I love that part of you so for that, I will always be grateful to your mother:) she reminds me of my step-grandmother she had a rapier for a tongue she was a New York City Madison Avenue girl born of privilege. she used to say things too and about you and always finish it with the sentence "isn't that right, dear?" of course she would not wait for a response she would just move on to her next platitude but she was always terribly polite in her cuttingness LOL

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Its an art that I'm trying to perfect my friend but they don't make them like those fine, genteel ladies with the super tact of killing with kindness anymore haha! Mum is the original cat lol and you got it so right I have some of her genes haha. Just some. She's formidable. Thank you for sharing your step-grandmother with me! She was awesome! And many thankful meows for liking me so much! You are a precious friend too dear Bunny! Meow....💕

[Robert Trakofler]

LOL I must admit some of that was instilled in me too I was treated like royalty as a boy by her and she didn't bother to hide it:) She would call me Robert James (my middle name is James) and she would parade me about town walking me to all her favorite shops and boutiques she made me feel so special as a child she regularly would take me from my mother for a week or so and always lavished so much love upon me you see she didn't have children of her own and i think because I was adopted she felt a certain connection to me:) so not being the recipient of her cutting side I was keenly unaware of its existence it wasn't until much later did I realize how sharp she was:)

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Ditzy, fav kat. I read this superb offering yesterday, but misbehaving site lost my response. Floating somewhere in the ether. So annoying. Anyways, trying again. I so love this warts and all write about your mum. You love her no matter what. That my dear is unconditional love. I smiled and had some great visuals of the expressions on faces here. Your mum and her views can make you exasperated, but that can so often be the case with generation gaps. It's all about tolerance and acceptance, and some people are blessed with it by the bucket load and others have a little bit of learning to do. Don't change anything. It's purrfect .....

Treats for you ......

Chris

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Awww...Thanks for the lovely treats always, dear Chris. Mum is quite a sport sometimes and sometimes can be quite unamused by the world hahahaha. Love underlies our fun words with our family. Thanks for this sweet review my dear Chris. I am so proud to be your favorite cat always. Sending you much much love!

[AJNJ]

Hey Ms. Kat! Getting wittier by the day! This poem kept me smiling till the end. And laugh out loud with the final line. You did something new and did it with flair. Kudos lady.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thank AJ. The more you contract your style the more I'll expand mine haha. You'll find me writing 2 page poems. See you soon.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

This is a really good read, and especially the last stanza/paragraph. Irrigation of the colon and your mum swallowed the universe.
Mums are everything to us...so many different people at one time...they must feel like Sybil.

At any rate...I surely miss mine, but you reminded me of her with your words.
j.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

They certainly are such a pivotal persson in our life. Life is amazing with them, in every colour!
Thank you my friend.

[Crowley]

I wouldn't edit a thing...lol!!! this is amazing. Your descriptions are so dead on and accurate and the last line is the best. If mum wrote a poem I wonder what it would say in the other direction, surely it wouldn't be called "Perfect" would it? Lol...you are too funny!

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Its a laugh a minute at home. Keeps things lively around here. Strange, I never thought of writing it before. Thanks for laughing with me, dear Crowley 😹

[barleygirl]

Cafe writers tend to worship parents in writing, so it's refreshing to read about how dicey it can REALLY be with parental affection. Not just the cafe, but also on Facebook, everyone seems to have the best relationship imaginable with their entire family tree, so I feel like the odd duck out, being kin with such a passel of trash. I love how you combine both love & disdain in almost every sentence. Your sarcasm is popping & your details are very relatable. Everyone who knew me growing up loves my mom, so I don't dare write a shady word about her. Your snarky piece gives me a ton of ideas how to write in a loving way, but also revealing the harsh truth of my childhood! Love your writing & your attitude (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

The equation we share now has improved so much over the years. We actually enjoy waging war and exchanging insults of sorts lol. But we are good friends. I'm lucky to have a funny and intelligent mum though quite egoistic and old world. Its great to have her! Thank you so much dear Margie for such love and encouragement here ❤

[barleygirl]

Your love & affection shines thru this delightful ditty!

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thanks dear Margie and that best relationship thing that people do on Facebook is so cringy indeed!