IDIOMIC FUN

 

A tisket and a tasket
Are all your eggs in a basket?
If you have too many wives
Just keep losing all the knives
Or else get laid in a big casket

 

 

Old King Cole loved to be in drag
And while in drag he loved to shag
But his missus came to know
From an old vindictive foe
The cat was let out of the bag

An old dame from Nantucket
Slipped many times and said f**k it
One day while soaping her date
She fell and fractured her pate
In the bath she kicked the bucket

 

 
A Chinaman called Chung Chung
Screeched hard on top of his lungs
So awful was the noise
They banned him in Illinois
Oh blimey! The cat got his tongue
 

 

A saddened old man from Brunei
Tossed out his clock with a sigh
Hickory Dickory dock
The clock became a hawk
The old man said oh! how time flies
 

 

Silly Mr. Murphy from the south
Ran up a debt too mammoth
His girl a Playboy Bunny
Screwed him well for his money
The silver spoon fell off his mouth
 

 

There once was a junkie called Jack

Who lived in a bag of Prozac  

He took too many pills

And would not pay his bills

He was such a hard nut to crack

 

 

 

Foxy lady Genevieve
Dressed to kill on Christmas Eve
In a nun’s habit for fun
Her hair she wore in a bun
Her heart she wore on her sleeve

 

 

Once an amputee called Edward

Bagged a job as a bar steward

His drinks were never bland

For want of an expert hand

‘Coz he put his best foot forward

 

 

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that poor woman from Nantucket....
and as for the wives one...oooh that stung a bit, Ditzy...I had too many wives...does three count?
my eggs are definitely cracked...and your nun one brought me back to grade school....
Sister Rosilda who would turn all red and rosy when we would give her a hard time and then say, "Oh the nerve of you brass monkeys"---
we loved her...
But then there were the nuns who would hit our knuckles with their rulers when we acted up.
So many confessions spent repenting for all the cuss words we thought of when that happened.
j.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Ooooh worry not my friend as this is a warning for many wives simultaneously 😹 like those Arab Sheikhs 😹
I pictured those stern nuns of your school days too! Scary indeed lol.
Its awesome of you to appreciate these limericks dear Jacob! Its wonderful to see you smile!
Thank you very very much!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Wow, you are amazing...you can even see my smile behind the mask?!
Your words certainly do make me smile...and I smile at a talent I wish had....
j.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

I could sense just that teeny weeny bit of smile dear Jacob! And now i am really and truly walking 9 feet above ground!
Many Many Thanks!!

[barleygirl]

You've outdone yourself! This is a great spiel of fun writing with spunky rhymes & nursery-rhyme bouncy rhythms. I admire any poet who can sustain such an attitude, with so much cleverness, over such a long poem, all complete with intricate rhyming. This is not easy to do! I usually poop out after 4 or 5! This is the most inventive thinking: "Hickory Dickory dock . . . The clock became a hawk . . . The old man said oh! how time flies" . . . your writing is strong & witty becuz your way of thinking & seeing the world is full of spark & imagination! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

I am jumping with joy here! You are inspiring me to write another set of limericks, dear Margie! Thank you sooo much! Love you! HUGS!

[Dave Brown]

all good stuff
who does the comic drawings, they are also great stuff

[Paul Bell]

You can never have to many wives.
Imagine sending out ten wives to get you beer.
This is a brewery in the making.
One has a headache, nine more to play with.
The only downside i can foresee is, if they all want to drag you around the shops at the same time.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Hahaha....
We've to consult the Sultans in Arabia on how they handled it.
Thanks dear Paul....;))

[T.S. Ulmus]

What a prolific cat you are, my kitten mostly lays around all day (I wonder if he's dreaming up clever poetry). Very clever stuff, you managed to strike on the common collective subconscious at every turn. What fun you've created here.

[Robert Trakofler]

Dhara you just have to be part Irish! Us bunnies aren't so cheap but we are worth every penny:)

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Awww.....You're priceless my friend!
I was poking fun at a different variety of 'Bunnies' and not the real bunnies at all. You're awesome! Sending love 💕

[Chris Shaw]

You are without doubt Queen of Limericks Ditzy. I have read all of these twice. A stupendous effort on your part and your cartoons are hilarious. I think you must pick the cartoon first and then do the limericks. I love that they are appropriately international. And they are all saucy., entertaining and bring a wide smile on a dull day. Went shopping yesterday, so treats have been replenished and here you go fav Kat ................

Chris

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Ooooh! Those lovely shopping trips and the treats! How I look forward to them dear Chris! Thank you! My heart brims with joy even thinking of it!
I am really enjoying my limericks journey my friend. Your care and encouragement means so much!

[Chris Shaw]

You are most welcome :)

[Samuel Dickens]

I've never seen anyone churn out so many funny limericks! You express an entertaining mix of clever and naughtiness.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thank you so much! I love writing funny and I its a reward in itself to see you smile! 😊

[Marina]

These are awesome, Dhara_Ditzy! I love that you are combining the two elements in this series to keep the limericks fresh. A great series of pictures to go with the limericks you have written, too. You have been very busy with these, haven't you? Lol. Awesome work. 💛

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Very busy lately. Scribbling Scribbling away! So glad you liked! Thanks a lot my lovely friend.

[JMichael]

A very inventive combination here, Ditzy....idioms and limericks in a witty concoction with hilarious little pics attached. I enjoyed all of them but especially the prozac junkie, Jack and naive Mr. Murphy. And what a great picture of Chung Chung there! Hahaha. Always fun to read you.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Just trying to entertain you guys dear RA. Its awesome to know you enjoyed them. Thank you very very much!