The No Poem Boyfriend - A Grouse

This is for you... again....😾!

My boyfriend often jokes

When he says I’m loved a lot

But if its poems for me

It always comes to nought

 

The dude is great with words

His rhyming is on spot

And when he is really in love

His poetry is hot

 

He was once an avid poet

While dating a crackpot

His pen was full of flames

To that blob of snot, he was Lancelot

 

And when I browse his epics

It gives me food for thought

Love sniggers ‘n smirks at me

In a thousand megawatts

 

So why is it that now

His pen got liver spots?

And why is it so limp

And dead when it should trot?

 

Poets with a sexy muse

Doodle with all they’ve got

Yet he needs a pinch of snuff

He needs a booster shot

 

It hurts a Kitty’s notions

To be an afterthought

She feels like a dumpy teapot

She feels like an old cocotte

 

She loves pretty verses

And runes, sweet as apricot

She likes a little spice

Doled in peppy, steamy pepper pots

 

She often asks him this

But he never does get caught 

He always wiggles out

Leaving her pissed in parking lots

 

This is just a little rue

Of a cat stuck with a robot

She’s not being catty or mean  

She’s not taking a potshot

 

The mind of men is snaky

Curled and twisted as a knot

Never a trouble-free plot

Full of clots ‘n blinded spots

Author's Note

Disclaimer: Am I being silly now?
Dear Café Poets, I’d love your views on this! 😼

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Aw Ditzy. Despite those claws kitty kat, me thinks you are like a chocolate, with a wee bit of a soft centre. This is such an entertaining read in your own formidable style which has got your readers hooked. P***y cat, not all Tom's are sneaky, curled and twisted. Give em a chance eh? You need some treats :))

Chris

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thank you, my dear friend, your words make my heart so warm and happy! I don’t believe in keeping anything in my heart and if it’s irking me it’s pat down on paper and then out of my system. I do understand that we should give people chances and trust me, I’ll be most generous with this. As for treats, I’m in for loads of them in a few days as I go to New Delhi for a fine vacation with my family. I’m one excited cat!

Many thank yous and a big hug for Chris! 😺

[Samuel Dickens]

I think it's a little silly, but in a marvelous, entertaining way. If this is your style, it's quite appealing and apt to get you many fans. With great rhymes and terrific words, you make me smile.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thank you very much for appreciating my words and writing style here. I do love to try my hand at different moods in poetry. I place more premium on that than structure and format. At the end of the day, if a reader is happy, so am I.

[LazerRays]

hmmm. this is a tough one.

i like the little rhyming scheme and the rant you let out. It oozes with emotion and i can feel the annoyance and confusion. It seems you have a lot of problem with men. i sincerely hope you find a right one. I like this very much. my advice? confront him; if he continues to act like this after then leave him

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Hello dear Sarah!
Me thinks I’m a silly cat sometimes. In particular moods, I just pick one ball of wool from a basket and unravel and ravel it all day till I’m thoroughly tangled and need rescuing! This was one such ball! Haha! Meet me at your nearest Starbucks for a coffee. I love mine with loads of cream! Whoa!
Thanks for your words of advice! I loved them 😺💕!

[barleygirl]

I wish I had been this artful & coquettish when I was doing my love rants at a much-younger age. This is a delightful come-uppance that anyone would enjoy, even if this is a so-called "grouse" (haven't heard that word in ages! love it!) This is clever on many levels. I love how you are uninhibited about revealing your own folly in checking out someone's past ministrations to love. A bad idea, all the way around. But most of all, I love your imaginative & over-the-moon descriptions of how crazy this can make a woman, to be getting less than one would hope for in the poetry realm! This is a bright & creative rant . . . I wish everyone could do it like this! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Paradoxically, I never rely on words and I always like to question anything and everything said to. Hence this rant. It’s not the content of a poem that matters, but the feelings that go into writing it for someone. It’s all about the ardour felt for someone. I’m a wise cat that senses and catches up on these things. I really appreciate your review Margie. Thank you so much! (A big hug)

[Agyani]

Ah, the common thought fidgeting and mental turmoil. I think anyone who is or has been in a relationship can relate to this, and if they cannot, they should talk about this with their partner, for they are obviously negligent and clueless!
Your poem speaks what's in your heart, but it's best if this is said to the one person this is for. ;)

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

I really appreciate your thoughts and views here, dear Agyani! I have kind of brought it up to him earlier ;)

[Ardra]

The trouble of being able to browse the history and the compare it with the current writings ;) a trouble for the lover boy...he should work harder if he wants to ensure you are kept happy and pleased .... not let you slip away ...
When a women is made to feel she is wanted and desired in the correct measures there will be no doubt In her mind...otherwise there is always that thread of doubt which crawls under .... asking does he ...really love me or not.... ;)

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Hahaha! You spoke exactly what was on my mind 😹 That he’s brave enough to still display them amazes me no end 😹
He better work harder!
Or this doubting cat will keep scratching him silly in places!

Thank you for your precious views on this, dear Ardra!

[Wild Rose]

No not silly
Think you are in need of some TLC and sweet talking

Love the poem bye the way

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thank you very much Wild Rose :)

[Jibey]

A kitty likes her stroking
Whereas guys are into poking;
Their pens come out at night
When the ambience is right

But what a guy must get
If he wants to make her wet
Is she needs a verbal kiss
A lovely rhyme like this.

Then you she will prefer
And let you stroke her fur
You need to be a bard
So she will make you hard!

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

You wow me with such an effortlessly rhymed response Jibey! Thank you appreciating my rhyming too! 😺

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

And also the wisdom of ages 😹😹

[Neville]

No you are not being silly... far from it... sometimes, it just has to be writ...dunnit.... write on D.... :)

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Oooohh Thanks a lot for supporting me on this one Neville. Indeed, written it should be! Or I’m not a Kitty worth my salt 😹

[Neville]

I reckon you got more salt about ya than Lot's wife and that was a lot apparently.. Neville :)

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Yes and with red pepper ground and crushed to a fine paste :)

[Neville]

sounds almost biblical....