The No Poem Boyfriend - A Grouse

This is for you... again....😾!

My boyfriend often jokes

When he says I’m loved a lot

But if its poems for me

It always comes to nought

 

The dude is great with words

His rhyming is on spot

And when he is really in love

His poetry is hot

 

He was once an avid poet

While dating a crackpot

His pen was full of flames

To that blob of snot, he was Lancelot

 

And when I browse his epics

It gives me food for thought

Love sniggers ‘n smirks at me

In a thousand megawatts

 

So why is it that now

His pen got liver spots?

And why is it so limp

And dead when it should trot?

 

Poets with a sexy muse

Doodle with all they’ve got

Yet he needs a pinch of snuff

He needs a booster shot

 

It hurts a Kitty’s notions

To be an afterthought

She feels like a dumpy teapot

She feels like an old cocotte

 

She loves pretty verses

And runes, sweet as apricot

She likes a little spice

Doled in peppy, steamy pepper pots

 

She often asks him this

But he never does get caught 

He always wiggles out

Leaving her pissed in parking lots

 

This is just a little rue

Of a cat stuck with a robot

She’s not being catty or mean  

She’s not taking a potshot

 

The mind of men is snaky

Curled and twisted as a knot

Never a trouble-free plot

Full of clots ‘n blinded spots

Author's Note

Disclaimer: Am I being silly now?
Dear Café Poets, I’d love your views on this! 😼

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Aw Ditzy. Despite those claws kitty kat, me thinks you are like a chocolate, with a wee bit of a soft centre. This is such an entertaining read in your own formidable style which has got your readers hooked. P***y cat, not all Tom's are sneaky, curled and twisted. Give em a chance eh? You need some treats :))

Chris

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thank you, my dear friend, your words make my heart so warm and happy! I don’t believe in keeping anything in my heart and if it’s irking me it’s pat down on paper and then out of my system. I do understand that we should give people chances and trust me, I’ll be most generous with this. As for treats, I’m in for loads of them in a few days as I go to New Delhi for a fine vacation with my family. I’m one excited cat!

Many thank yous and a big hug for Chris! 😺

[T.S. Ulmus]

What a beautiful window into a life. You captured a rhyme scheme that makes the reading very easy also. An amusing concept, a poet that won't poem for you, "leaving her pissed in parking lots" hit a beautiful realistic note. I have the opposite problem, an amazing girl that I love with all my heart, I wrote"the kiss" for her but all I get is "yeah, that's nice".

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Ooooooh! You got this kitty all curious now!

Thanks for appreciating this poem my friend but I must lose no time in rushing to read 'the kiss!'

*jumps from the wall and straight onto T.S. Ulmus's page*

[Coyote Poetry]

I loved how you twisted the language.
"The mind of men is snaky
Curled and twisted as a knot
Never a trouble-free plot
Full of clots ‘n blinded spots"
The above lines. Logical and true. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Taniska 😊€..]

Nice poem cutie I enjoyed reading this keep writing (((smiles))) 😊😊😊😊

[Crowley]

I wonder if said poet was burned by the hotness of the previous tryst. It happens. Or maybe there is another, not here that monitors his moves? Any way you have it, I loved this romp down Poets and Lovers Lane, it real stuff!!!!

[Suhd]

I'd say this here is a fine work of ''art'' (rhymes with your poem). I loved it.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Thank you Suhd! I hope you are very well:)

[Suhd]

Always a pleasure, Dhara :) Hope you are well too.

[The Iron Horseman]

I think this guy is about to get his marching orders, Kitty Kat! You are obviously an intelligent woman with strong emotions and a good sense of humor, but you are feeling oh so neglected - and with good reason. If he can summon his muse for others, but not for you, it is time to give him something to rue!
And no, you are not being silly, you are justifiably aggrieved, but reluctant to accept the implications. Good luck with whatever remedy you choose!

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

“If he can summon his muse for others, but not for you, it is time to give him something to rue!”

Almost perfect reasoning there. At the same time poetic stuff cannot be forced out of someone! This is the same person who used to call his poems for his ex-Muse “labour of love” and “without my muse, there would be no poetry “ Since has lost his words so totally since we got together, you can yourself assess my standing with him. So indeed, he has to be let go. I’m a queen in my castle albeit alone. I prefer my loneliness to being an “Also- Ran” to a most pathetic woman.

Thank you for the lovely and thoughtful review!

[The Iron Horseman]

You are very welcome, and I wish you well.

[Einstein Noodle]

damn! sounds like that is one poet that has run his course ;( in spite of the relationship falling by the wayside ... this has upbeat rhythm to it for me ..and rhyme that is unforced ... there is wisdom in your closing says i! and men (when honest) must admit that many times a lying snake frames the words that hiss forth ... but not are all like that of course ...and those that are, are not always like that ...now..i am not defending lying anytime ... your poem opens many side streets and alley-ways says i! and no... not silly at all :)
E.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Indeed lots of alley-ways opened and new ones created too. After writing this I realised that under the silliness in these lines lurked some very basic dynamics of relationships. Questions that bug us all at times. As for framed and contrived words, I’d rather have a boyfriend with no pretty words than saccharine-sweet insincere ones! I am thrilled at the response this poem evoked and I am so thankful for your appreciation of my amateur poetry skills. A big thank you, my friend! 😺💕

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you for sharing Kitty Katz ..your poem is in the vein of "keeping it real" ...always refreshing to read

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

I’m one happy and puffed up Kitty! (Waves affectionately) Wishing you all amazing things! 💐

[Zayir]

The creative mind can be dampened with foreign substances that change the dopamine receptors in the brain. We feel the poetry, it's in our heads, the weaving in the connections. His anger is at himself, for no being able to conjure such a developed complex poem. Worry not about men, for the one who is right will have the same energy as you. Fun, bright, capable of darkness, but large in personality. My dear friend, only worry about the words that role off your tongue, not the vile spears that come out of the man without purpose.

Much Love

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Musing aloud, the cat says...”Of course Zayir. We can’t force words out of anyone. They spring from deep wells within us.” So saying, she stretches cozily in the soft, wintry sun.

Thank you my dear Zayir. Much love to you too! 😺💕

[Lola_Bee]

Wowee, how much I have related to this writing. A woman needs so much more than a man thinks, we need constant love, and constant reminders. We need to feel it every day, and in the beginning they woe you with the deepest of words that speak to your soul, and then after it fades away and they say its cause of life and that you are growing. But are you growing when those things that attracted and kept you alive are now fading? A woman is constant, she loves constantly, never changing, always growing. We expect the same.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Your words are SPOT ON Lola_Bee and so on point! It strikes me how similar the trajectory/curve of relationships everywhere! Are we too giving, too complacent that we don't see the danger signs, the red flags? Does vigilance and voicing our concerns pay in the long run? I thank you from my heart for such a thinking and heartfelt response!

[Lola_Bee]

xoxo

you are welcome!