Today I learned to cry quietly

Today I learned to cry quietly.

Today I learned to wait for nothing, to expect nothing, to love nothing.

Today I learned to accept the cold, to not shiver, to not shelter.

Today I learned to forget.

Today I learned to be full, to be tired, to watch food turn cold and gone.

Today I learned to clean up, to make space, to let my memories get tossed out.

Today I learned to smile,

because my tears would be too loud for me.

Today I learned to breathe, to count down, to try to speak kindly and gently

because those were all I wanted to hear but haven’t heard.

Today I learned to sleep, to surrender my body, to close my eyes

because it made everything softer.

Today I learned to cry quietly.

I hope tomorrow I won’t and I’ll have someone shouting with me.

And if I do, I will have more to learn and write to you in what we’ve all learned as “empty” apologies.

Author's Note

Beware the overthinker, the vague speakers, the spontaneous giver, they don’t speak their hurt emotions but they’re bad at hiding their silence. Don’t point at it, they’ll run. Instead, let them feel safe to share by being there. They will share, they want to share.