Reborn

This is the first piece I have sat down and just... let flow out, in a very long time. It's un-edited and very raw. Also, according to r/writing very full of cliche.

My name is Harmony and I crave chaos.

My life has been a steady stream of bad luck, unfortunate events and always being in the wrong place at the wrong time. That's just how it was. Especially...

When I met him.

That moment that I laid eyes on him, I should have known. I should have felt and recognized that familiar whoosh of air that surrounded all bad people.

But... I was young..

And I was hopeful...

And I was dumb.

I'd sat there, in my cold and defeated hunger... And he'd come out of no where, with his kind voice and big brother demeanor. "Come with me. I'll keep you safe." Out of all the words spoken, these were all that I'd heard in my defeated state. I suppose, those were the only words that would have ever broken though to me.

Oh, how I'd wished I'd been deaf.

I'd clung to those balloons for words, as if they were my saving grace. Like a precious lifeline. Instead, of seeing them for the death sentence that they actually were.

...Or would become.

My fist tightened as the words echoed and bounced around in my train of thought. Yet, I stood my ground, at my place in the corner of the bar, able to see it's entirety from where I stood.

She's pretty. The little brunette, with the big brown doe eyes, that stood next to you.

She's the new me, huh?

I'll never let that happen...

Only I could be me. Only I will ever be who you made me be.

I follow you as you followed her as she followed him. Weird being on this end of the game of chase. Neither have you, and you don't even realize that you are now.

I smiled.

I watched her as she walked through the exit with that man. Tall, lightskinned and an expression of dumb and irrational lust plastered on his face. But I could see something that you couldn't see.

It was fake. All of it. I smiled, again.

I walked a few paces behind you, with my hood pulled over high, and watched as she climbed into the safety of my brothers car. You weren't fast enough. I reached you before you could follow her.

"Hey..." I struggled with the need to hide all emotion... all TRUE emotion, from my voice. I've waited too long to let myself falter, now. With just that one word, everything changed and the night escalated perfectly. One hand on the hood of the car. The other behind your back.

Scared creatures of habit are entirely too predictable. Thank you. Thank you for making this easy.

Recognition washes over your face and you relax. Your mistake. I'm not the lost little kitten that I was when we last met. But you didn't need to know that... yet.

"Get in."

Orders. Always orders barked out of your mouth, at me. My fists tightened again as I 'coward' and climb into your car. I keep my head down so that you don't see the smile that I just can't get rid of. You think, like you always have, that it's because of 'terrified obedience'.

That's fine.

"I always knew that you would come back." So did I. "Who else would take care of a little lost kitten like you, besides me?"

Me...

I didn't have to watch the roads to know where we were going. The trip was all too familiar. I didn't even need to do much to show you that I was terrified. You ... in all your paranoia, still never payed enough attention to details. We pulled into an apartment complex parking lot, and you climb out of the car, ordering me to 'stay like a good lil' b***h.'

I do... Just long enough for you to walk pass the group of guys that you've never seen before, smoking at the entrance. My fiance, and his friends. You should really have learned to pay attention to the little details, because these guys aren't a*s good at hiding their thoughts from their faces.

I slowly climb out of the car, and light a cigarette. No need to rush this.

I walk the same path that you did only moments before. This time the group silenced and followed closely behind. Through the door. Up the stairs. Until we stood outside of a door on the very top floor.

A door slams. Footsteps... Another door slams. Again... Again... You'll never find her. Not ever again.

The footsteps approach from the other side of the door, before it opened, and there I stood. Both my face and my emotions clear on my face. I step forward, pass all of your demands to move out of your way. That's when you see the first of the group step in front of the door to block your exit. I step forward once more and lift my arm to wrap around the small of your back. Being this close to you, again, left a nasty taste in the back of my throat. It's infuriating and almost broke my will to follow through with the entire game.

One more breath in...

Confusion. I could smell it, now. Followed with the intoxicating scent of fear. It was like a perfectly mixed aged whiskey and coke. I inhaled again. Took it all in as if it were the best scent in the world...

Because it is...

There it is. The pistol that my fingers had been skimming across your waist, looking for. Before you even realized it, it was in my hands, pointed at you, as I stepped backwards, again.

"Kitten..."

No. Never again will that be me.

I backed away and you watched as I went to sit on the broken counter top, of the abandoned kitchen.

I quietly watched, as body after body filed into the apartment, through the front door. Their presence, alone, intimidating enough to make you step back, in fear. One person representing every person that you ever... "passed me to".

Nine.... Nine in total.

They say never corner a person because that's when they turn dangerous. What people neglect to realize is, what that means is "You never push a kind man into a corner". You aren't and never have been anything close to a kind man. No... You're a rat.

A trapped rat.

A dumb, trapped rat...

Tonight will be a night that I will never forget. Not ever.

My name is Harmony, and tonight I have been reborn from chaos.

Author's Note

~~~It's been a long time since I've really written anything, and lately I'd been going through a really hard mental state. Depression, Feelings of uselessness, etc. (By a long time, "years" is probably more accurate. ~~~But... This morning, I was woken up around 5am by the overwhelming feeling of the NEED to write. So that's exactly what I did. It took me 4 hours to get it all on paper (since I'm very traditional with writing, I ~~~only type it after I finish a project.) It's not very well written, and not thoroughly thought out/planned out, but I'm very proud of it, for many different reasons. When I wrote the last sentence... The ending ~~~lines... I cried. I cried so hard for so long. But it wasn't a sad cry. Or an angry or depressed one. It was just simply a release... And this is the best I have felt in literally years.

So... I wanted to share this with anyone and everyone who might need or want to read it. This is my final good-bye to all of that pain, and thank you for taking the time to join me in my celebration of an end of a lifetime.

Reviews

[Kuroko]

"Demons run when a good man goes to war"

"Chaos is temporary, only peace may last forever"

[ProjectSerenity]

"Demons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun, when a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies. Migh will fall, and dark will rise, when a good man goes to war. Demons run, but count the loss. The battles won but the child is lost."

Oh how I appreciate the irony of you posting that quote. It's written in almost every notebook that I own.