A Regrettable Tattoo Job.

Poor Micheal

I can't believe this. I'm staring down at this fat guy's a*s, it's pale surface gleaming up at me with inhuman whiteness. I swear to God, I can make out a face in the cellulite. I had to seriously try and keep myself from barfing. That would have been worse. My hork trickling down this guy's crack.
I looked from the horror that was splayed out in front of me to the little window that lead into the back room, my two friends behind the thick glass. They both grinned that kind of grin that told you they set you up for this and they were loving every minute of it. I would never hear the end of this.
"Oy, you gunna get started or what, mate?" The man said, his beefy neck trying to navigate itself to look over at me.
I turned back to face his a*s. "Bloody hell." I breathed, growling;" Alright, where do you want it?"
He gave up on trying to look at me and just laid flat on the table, which I was sure was straining. "On my a*s, obviously. The left butt cheek, right 'ere."
A beefy finger came 'round to indicate to me the precise location of the little drawing. I winced internally. "Yeah, okay." The tattoo this guy wanted was simple enough and it wouldn't take me that long but...I had to tattoo some guy's A*S.
Ugh.
I got the gun and loaded it with a freshly sterilized needle, the little jar of ink ready at my side. "Let's get this over with, mate."


"Dude, Micheal, that was disgusting." One of the dirty onlookers to that horrible show that now stood to my right said. His name's Allen, and he's a total arse.
And I told him so.
"You're a total arse, Allen. Of course it was disgusting. It was some bloke's a*s I just done tattooing."
"Yeah. To think you went to school for three years for THIS. To tattoo some bloke's arse." The other guy is named Seth.
He's kind of my mate.
"Seriously." I sighed. We were walking down the street at about two in the morning towards our favorite pub, the Haggler's Ankle. I don't why it's called the Haggler's Ankle but hey, they have kick a*s Ale and that's good enough for us.
"I want to get wasted. I don't ever want to remember that guy again." I groaned, opening the big heavy wooden door that lead into the pub. Allen and Seth followed me, nodding their heads.
"We can definitely do that."