Wish I Could Do So.

Wish I could do so,

Gifts of words, I could bestow you.

Desired to sketch  my  vehement  love,

 For you, in the soul of you, though couldn't do.

 

Wished, Return gift of love, I could receive.

Leaking memories, Flashes of you, shining in the heart.

And Barren snowy sheets'  turned, white ink.

Hands got numb, Mind already shaken

Wish you could hold me from breakin'

But you couldn't.

 

zeal to have you, drops in mind,

Could decorate you in pages of my entire life

Could live you, with me, in my soul

But your absence kills vibes to write.

If I have had hold you, once, in the cage of my love.

Today, I  wouldn't see you, with another smiling pearl:

whose love is your heart's desire, in your life.

Wish I could be  the one, though couldn't.

Reviews

[Pragati Chaudhary]

You a really sweet girl with a beautiful heart. keep writing dear sister

[Mohit Gautam]

It has potential to give u inner weep .
Keep writing such emotional beauties.

[Priyanshi]

Hahaha....thank you so much for the lovely review:))

[barleygirl]

I love the imagery of trying to write out one's feelings, but then being plagued by so many different sensations that make it impossible. This scene is a great analogy for many failures between loving people. Good use of somewhat harsh language to convey intensity of not-so-good feelings, seemingly disguised as love or longing. The only word that made me stop & think is "vehement" -- the definition is "strong feeling" but most of the time this word is used to convey BAD feelings, so it seemed a little strong to use in this spot . . . "fervent" might be a better choice? All in all, you convey much strong feeling in original-sounding word choices (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Priyanshi]

Okaay...i shall change the word....thank u so much for the advice and lovely review....lots of love to you maam

[Mohamed Rahim Iqbal]

In this poet I feel lots. Every words are made by a pain and I feel it very much. we miss someone in our lifetime but that would be remembered by this poet. Good job Miss Priya. All the best and Keep the pen flow

[Priyanshi]

Thank you so much, for the lovely reivew.

[Mohamed Rahim Iqbal]

Welcome my friend

[wordman]

we miss the ones we truly love i guess,always wondering

[Priyanshi]

Yeah..Thank you so much, sir, fir the lovely review.

[Najam Us Saher]

The last line hits hard. It shows how you expect so much from a person but realise that it cannot be fulfilled and that really hurts, very well expressed the emotions.

[Priyanshi]

Thank you so much, dear... you're right:)

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome :)

[pragya gaur]

Emotional poetry which touched heart... Well done dear

[Priyanshi]

Thank you so much, dear, for the lovely review.
How are you?

[pragya gaur]

Fine dear and uh

[Priyanshi]

........Uh?

[pragya gaur]

It's you..

[Priyanshi]

Oh...am fine.:)

[Zoya]

Quite melancholic. Urequited love, I suppose. There's much emotion behind it. Was difficult to follow at times. A good job though. Keep writing!

[Priyanshi]

Oh...I'll try to make it clear....Thank you so much ,dear for the honest review.

[Zoya]

You're welcome :)

[Abraham George]

Nice read and i liked the flow of your words.

[Priyanshi]

Thank you so much, friend, for kind review.