A new day

This is Kolkata. The sun shines brightly in summer.The humidity creeps into your skin and rests there for eternity. Suddenly the rain comes and drenches the common mundanness of the daily hustle. 
It causes no respite. The rain makes the traffic to come to a perpetually stagnant state. The roads become muddy and the oppressive sultriness is overgripping.

In the very heart of this city of joy, I live. My life is in no way joyous. I wake up as ealy in the morning as possible rather dragged out of the bed by my mother. I somehow get dressed and rush out for office. 

I work in a reputed IT company. I have recently joined as an IT professional. I take some pride in being a part of this company but I do not like my job. Its not that I do a lot of things in office. I am actually on probation. I have not been allocated any project or system. I move in the the cubicle like a external weed, feeling unwanted, living at the mercy of someone who is absent(so that I get his/her system) and someone who logs me into his/her account so that I can use the internet and study. 

Ayan Da, our team lead tries his best to make me comfortable and feel useful instead of a potential Java Resource. Ayan Da comes to me and surveys what I am studying, allocates me tasks like learning new Unix syntaxes and Oracle DBMS. He peeps into my PC from time to time and asks," Kire Kato ta porli?" (Hey! How much did you study?"). Is extermely informal tone of addressing makes me feel so comfortable. He is the reason why I keep going back to my e-book instead of writing this story. 

All the time I am here I feel extreme drowsiness.With great effort, I keep my eyes open. When I look around I see my enthusiastic seniors staring holes into their respective PCs. Some of them take breaks and openly crack jokes in Bengali and laugh aloud. One senior colleague whom I call by Rakhi Di(Sister), listenes to music and chats on whatsApp. She even reads the Bengali e-newspaper, Anandabazar Patrika in between work.My team looks quite chilled out from the outside. I wonder how it will be once I get my role defined as a part of the team.  
  Today they were discussing about a combined birthday party. Sometimes they make so much noise that I fear the Projet Manager, Puneet may come and enquire. But the PL looks cool himself. 

Today I talked to our on-site Project Lead who currently is in France. After the conversation, my heart feels burdened with deep thoughts. This is a position of responsibility. By no means a person with some etics can abandon his team. Even the person, whose place I am going to take is going to impart the necesssary training to me before leaving.The seriousness with which my team leads consider me as a resource can be perceived by me. Do I have no chance to get out of this IT web? I always wanted to touch the skies. Will I be able to do things my heart wants? Coding has always intrigued and enthralled me by its challenges but this job has different challenges, those that I cannot take a liking to how much I try. Should I frankly talk to my Team Lead and walk out of this Project? The only reason I accepted this one because I will get to learn new things. That is my sole consolation. But I wonder, is all the pains worth it?