Once upon a time

Its an attempt to take you throughtout the satirical journey of our dear dwelling earth and that of us humans.

Once upon a time,
a ray of hope shine.
A weird creature evolve,
on planet which revolve.
The planet which was bare,
where even survival was dare.
On everything was lone,
was not now alone.
The civilizations spread entire,
the resources they took hire.
It was like a endless debt,
for which planet hoped and wait.
All it was over to exhilarate,
but it was time to desolate.
The treasure got ruin,
and exhaustion was very soon.
The creature which spread hate,
was on verge of facing fate.
Who started as a caveman,
we now call it as a human.

Reviews

[A.r. Bazian]

i feel more that every age brings and carries upon itself the extinction of its very characteristics! Humankind is just an attribute to the past 120+million years that our species have surfaced!
i wonder what will come in follow!
but worry not!
nature has its way in control itself! anything we do to better our consumption and devise of the world around us, is only a mere prolonging of our existence!
like all species, i'm sure ours will either evolve, or go extinct!
what a shame it is how we made this haven a living hell, but rest assured, our earth will recover, with or without us, and time will tell!

[Pritesh]

I really can find your concern with the nature and the looming anxiety on entire mankind...its certainly ironical and unprecedented of any species to press self destruction button recklessly...more than an oblivion its deliberate of us to do such...thanks

[UnderCompulsion]

I LOVED THIS!!Finally something refreshing and unique!Great job! :)

[Krys]

It was really good, but I felt like some of the rhymes were forced.

[$êlvån]

Hats off...this is just 100%complete n gr8 work....it had everything .story line,rhymes,flow,suspense,humour etc etc:)....keep it up..

[Pax]

wow, epic. i really like this. You maintain a steady rhyme in the end of each sentence which is hard when your making a story in poetic form. I have done some yet hard to maintain the rhyme not like you do. brilliant work.

[Celeste]

Wow, this is an amazing piece! I loved how you ended this: Who started as a caveman/we now call it as a human.

The meaning of this piece is so powerful to me. Though I didn't exactly get what some lines said, this was a great poem.

Keep writing!

[Kuhr Gred]

this is amazing.. great flow of the story :) i think you're a good story teller in this poem.. GREAT WRITE :)
- Kuhr Gred

[MOON]

Good write.