Yard Sale

  Still no takers. Despite the crude sign resting on the man's lap. A middle-aged man bearing a middle-aged midsection. Occasionally he would look up from his book and squint at the world. The cheap sunglasses he got from the cheap dollar store offered little protection for his half-lit eyes.

 

  Staring down he hoped, he hoped someone would drive-by and notice the bargain he was offering. Funny how hopes, much like the cars passing by, just come and go. But the chair - the old, refurbished chair just kept sticking around, much like the man sticking to it. Few if any looked their way, even the children who hurried past rarely paused or glanced.  There was one little girl though who did happen to stop and say. “Nice chair!” She was a nice little girl for saying that. It brightened his mood a bit, for the sale had not gone that well. He’d sold a few things, some old records, a Barbie doll or two, a couple of Playboys - but not much else.

 

  It was getting close to noon, the leftovers in the frig were starting to creep into his mind. He knew however that the old standby, peanut butter and jelly would probably be his lunch today. It was his lunch of choice on most days. He’d never turned down a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He usually ate two along with half a bag of chips and a fresh loaf of bread. He loved fresh bread, not as well as peanut butter and jelly, but then, nothing was as good as peanut butter and jelly.

 

   His morning coffee and donuts were no longer enough to quiet his hunger pangs. He needed to eat. Should he keep the sale going or just call it quits? Maybe the little girl would come by and offer to buy his chair. He’d sell it to her, even if she just had a dollar. She was a good kid, unlike some of the other little demons. He decided to leave everything out for a little longer and went inside for lunch.

 

   To his surprise when he came back out someone was actually looking at the chair. He decided to play it cool and just ignore her. He sat in another chair and stared at a book all the while watching her out of the corner of his eye. She’ll probably offer me less, they always do. A bargain just isn’t enough anymore; it’s got to be a real bargain. As he studied her he mumbled under his breath, “For Christ sakes lady, $10 for that chair, that IS a bargain!” He made up his mind right then and there he wasn’t going to sell his chair for a penny less.

 

   The stylishly dressed woman proceeded to browse quickly past the other sale items and then walked directly towards the man staring at the book. She casually said, “Excuse me I’m interested in the old chair you have for sale, would you take eight for it?” The man stared more intently at his book, “It’s worth ten, it’s easily worth ten,” was his sheepish response.  The woman countered, “I agree, it is a nice chair but it’s going to need some cleanup. There appears to be something smeared all over it. It almost smells like peanut butter.” The man burrowed deeper into his book and fumed, “It’s not for sale!”

 

  The woman smiled with a soft nervous laugh and replied, “OK sir, you drive a hard bargain, ten it is.” The man squeezed the book even harder, “Twenty, it’s easily worth twenty!” It was then that he finally looked up and she noticed the peanut butter smears around his mouth.  She also noticed that even behind the cheap sunglasses there was something about his eyes, something not right. Instinctively she began backing away even before she could utter, “Um, that’s OK, I think I’ll just pass on it today.”

 

 With that the sale ended for it was getting late and once again the chair had not been sold. As he carried the chair back inside he admitted to himself it wasn’t much of a chair. Why he kept it around he wasn’t sure but he was damn sure he wasn’t going to sell it - to just anybody.