Wacky Week In West Branch

 

  It’s been a wacky week in my little part of the world. Never a place that generates a lot of excitement we sometimes have to make a mountain out a molehill, or in this case, a mountain out of motherly breasts just to keep things interesting.

 

  All this titillation seemed to have started a week or so ago in the little town of West Branch, Iowa. It is the home of Herbert Hoover, the 31st President of the United States. Being the son of a Quaker blacksmith I wonder what Mr. Hoover would think of the recent uprising in his usually quiet, quaint hometown.

 

  The first breast to pop out in the news was seen at the Hoover House restaurant. The owner didn’t feel breast-feeding ones baby in his restaurant was appropriate behavior. Not an unfair opinion in my book but apparently a few others saw it differently. Why they got their tits in a ringer over all this I’ll never know. Personally I think some of them were just out to milk the situation.

 

  They made signs, they called the TV stations, they even herded up some n****e packing mammas from as far away as Kansas to come up and protest against this "unfair" policy. Their rights to breast-feed in public had to be heard and of course seen to get their point across. Thus these proud chested women rode into West Branch, loaded with child, hungry to prove a point.

 

  The owner of restaurant across the street was no dummy and saw an opportunity to juggle these women his way.  Quickly a sign was made and placed in the front window welcoming all breast-feeding mammas to his fair-minded establishment.

 

  Originally these lactating ladies where planning on hanging out at the Hoover House where the cameras were being set up to roll. But being Iowa practical as well as serious they decided not to share their hard earned money with some close-minded b**b. Thus they jiggled their way across the street where they happily open their blouses and pocketbooks to the kindhearted, understanding owner.

 

  The Hoover House owner reacted just as quickly and began offering 50 cent draws to those that planned on remaining fully dressed in his establishment.  It was not long before drunken, though fully dressed, hecklers began taunting these fierce freedom fighters. Through it all they stood their ground, these b***s weren’t moving.

 

  In the end both sides declared victory as the drinking and sucking continued well into the night.  Eventually all became sleepy and the little town of West Branch, Iowa tucked all their babies back into bed.