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High school was rough for me, but my senior year was by far the worst. This poem basically sums it all up.

And today is the day that I made history,

And now there’s people whispering

About that girl named Lexi who was always so quiet.

Until I began a riot,

Even though I was scared to try it, because

Mouths are brutal weapons of combat.

The vicious words they release are bullets

That hit me when my back’s turned

At 100 miles per hour.

But I’m done hiding.

I won’t cower.

Because I’ve gained power

With the courage that I found somewhere inside me.

I didn’t know I had it,

But just go ahead and try me.

My life might be a romantic comedy,

Because the guys laugh when the leave, but to me it’s tragedy.

My mom sees it as a drama, because to her

I’m just dramatic.

But now it’s climactic.

And it’s all downhill from here

So it’s time I face my fears.

And I’ll be the hero of the never-ending story that is my life.

But what if the hero is really the villain?

How do I win when I sin?

And I pray to be forgiven,

But I still sit in

Danny’s garage.

And the smoke is thick like fog.

I feel like I’m stuck in a bog that’s too deep for me to escape,

So I go up, up and away.

And it smells like lawnmower and skunk.

I don’t want the high so I get drunk.

And my mom thinks I’m at Kayla’s,

Just sitting in her room, and she knows

I’ll be home soon.

But now I’m ruined and I’m consumed.

My head feels fuzzy and I want food.

My head is a mess, but I still undress

For a guy who I know cares even less about me than I do.

But when he said I was hot, I just forgot

All the ways that I’m not.

I like him a lot, but he doesn’t care

Because I’m just a prostitute that does it for charity.

I’ve lost all clarity of my dreams of prosperity.

But if I close my eyes, I got back to a time

When sixty-nine was only a number.

When sex was that naughty word I knew not to say.

When the word pot referred to something that held water.

When I was mommy’s daughter,

Before I fought her away and refused to obey and no,

I’m not okay.

Because I don’t want to stay another day in this house

With standards I never seem to reach.

I wish I could teach myself to practice what I preach.

But my lungs still coat with blackness.

There are so many lying mouths I’ve kissed, and all the good ones

I’ve either dissed or missed.

And when I find one who’s sweet, he just can’t help but cheat.

The ground beneath my feet falls out from under me.

And I’ve defeated the ones I needed

Who treated me with respect,

Because I’ve grown used to neglect.

But I’ll still try to perfect each and every aspect

Of my life.

I know that inside my dreams are still alive, and

I still want to strive for a future.

These red marks on my wrists and arms are battle scars.

They’ll be gone in five days, but that memory stays

And my pureness decays.

I need to get away, but I’m stuck.

And it hurts to be hated just because I’ve dated

Guy after guy and told lie after lie,

But they don’t see me cry.

No, they don’t know I die

Every single time I’m reminded

Of the fact that I’m binded

To a school full people who are blinded

By the bitter hate that pours through their veins.

But I endure the pain, and deal with the names

That have become my identity.

I’m not Lexi anymore.

I’m known as drunk, s**t or w***e.

I’m so lost in this life that’s no longer my own,

And I’m so very well known, yet feel so alone.

My happiness has been destructed.

My true self was abducted

By this monster of a girl.

I swore to myself I’d change back.

I told myself I’d regain the kindness that I lack,

But stress consumes me and I crack.

And break and shake and fake the smile

I can’t make real.

Now happiness is just a memory.

It’s a distant dream that I dream of redeeming,

But inside I’m still screaming.

And outside I’m still seeming as if I’m okay.

I think maybe I’ll just play dead or

Stay in my bed

Or continue to lose my head.

I’m at home with the clouds now.

I’m not making a sound now.

I’m feeling pretty profound now,

But there’s no one around now.

My brain is full of helium and I’m floating away.

I’m not coming back down.

I’m leaving this town.

You’ll never catch me now.

Author's Note

Feedback is most welcome and much appreciated. Thanks for reading!