Dear Dairy

A beginning to a book or short story about a young woman who relives her childhood before heading off to college. When she first received the diary, she didn't know how to spell "Diary" and called it "Dairy".

 

Nan sat on the pale pink carpet of the room she had spent the last 18 years of her life in. Her slender legs stretched out before her, and books surrounded them. Even if she wanted to, she probably couldn’t move. She had a box next to her, with yet more books, and she continued to pile them around her legs. Then, she found it.

 

Her hands grasped around a small, yellow book with flowers on the front. She skimmed her long, un-manicured fingers across the cover and fiddled with the tiny gold lock that clasped the book shut. 

 

Nan shut her eyes. “Where is that key?” she said to herself. As if suddenly answered she opened her eyes and stretched over to the middle drawer of her long, wooden dresser. She pulled it out and dumped its contents, then pulled up the lining to reveal the tiny key she had hidden years earlier.

 

Unlocking the book, Nan read the very first page. In her mother’s neat handwriting it said:

 

Dear Nan,

      I want you to always remember that Daddy and I love you very, very much, no matter what. When you have trouble talking to us, talk to your brand new friend… This book. It is called a journal, or a diary, but whatever you call it, it will always be there for you. Many years from now, you will read it and laugh. 

I love you till the cows come home again,

Mommy

 

Nan smiled. She remembered how grown up she had felt when her mother had given the book to her. Turning the page, Nan found a child’s handwriting.

 

Dear Dairy,

     Mommy says I shuld talk to you, but I don’t no you and you dont no me. So I will introduce myself. My name is Nan. I am 6 years old and live in Bockshot North Carolinea. Toomoro I go into furst grade. I am scard. I dont no nobody at my skool. Today is my burthday. I dont like my burthday cuz it allwayz makes Mommy so sad. Daddy waznt here agin this year and I was sad to. I have to go to bed now. Good nite frind.

Nan

 

Nan laughed, trying to decipher the words she had written as a child. She sighed. She remembered that birthday very clearly. That was the last birthday she had really looked forward to. That was the last birthday she had hope of her daddy coming home. She sighed, flipping through the pages of the small book. 

 

Dear Dairy,

     Mommy says Daddy aint commin home. She says he went off and fond a new family with new kids. Why dont he love me no more? I do everything Mommy tells me and I even try to do everything my teecher tells me to. Why wasnt I guud enuff. Why did he need a new family? I am so sad I feel like my eyes will never be dri agan. They hurt and they are pufy. Mommy’s eyes look bad to. I have to go to bed so I can go to skool tomorrow. I like skool enuff, I just wish Daddy could see me doin good. Even my speling is geting beter.

Nan

 

Nan remembered that night too. She frowned, remembering how cruel the other children had been when word of her father’s affair had spread. Nan pressed her thin lips together, remembering the sleepless nights and the days of holding her mother, for fear her mother would also leave her. Tears clouded her vision, remembering what a wreck everything became after Kristen, her dad’s “new” family, came into her life. She had refused to go see him, but she had no choice in the matter. Looking down at the book, Nan flipped forward to her first visit to her dad and Kristen’s house.

 

Dear Dairy,

     I am at Daddy’s house. He has a new wife. Her name is Kristin. I don’t like her. All she cares about is her hair and her nails and her clothes. She don’t even cook. She has some lady named Miss Betsy come cook. Miss Betsy is nice. She is funny to. She tells me that Kristin has a bun in the oven, but I know she don’t cuz Kristin don’t cook. She sure is geting fat tho. Her close are to tite and her fingers are geting fat to. I don’t know why she is geting so fat. Miss Betsy also hids me frum Suzy. That is Kristins little girl. Suzy is mean. She hit me for hugin my own Daddy. She said that he is her Daddy now and I cant hug him with out her sayin ok. I told her that my Daddy said I was always his babe but she said no that her Moma was gon give Daddy a new babe and that he wuld not want me no more. I want to go home to Mommy.

Nan

 

Smiling, Nan recalled Miss Betsy with fondness. Her kind features and leathered skin had made Nan instantly love her. That and when Nan first met her, she made her hot cocoa with the little marshmallows and whipped cream on top. 

 

Betsy had always defended Nan. She would swat Suzy away and let Nan sit in the kitchen and help her make supper. Nan especially loved making bread with Miss Betsy. She remembered getting covered in flour after one particular session and Miss Betsy telling her that if she got covered in any more flour, when she took a bath, the water would turn to glue and she would be stuck in the tub. 

 

Nan also remembered Kristen screeching after seeing her covered in the white powder and Suzy laughing at her as Kristen did. Nan had been afraid to cry because she was afraid her tears would turn to glue and be stuck to her face. 

Sighing, Nan set the book aside. That year was too painful to keep going through a second time.

Author's Note

I don't know that I will ever finish this, I always begin stories but never seem to be able to finish them.

Reviews

[Calypso]

This is good.
I have memories of when I kept dairies when I was 6.
This chapter is just so funny, but sad.

[Matthew J]

You HAVE to finish this. I'm way too curious now. I have to know what else Nan's diary contains!