Anonymity

Empowering Growth With Wisdom

As season changes with time, as an old day passes away and a new day arrives, as old friends go away from our life and new friends appear in our life, as waves of oceans come one after another, so our thoughts are alike seasons, days, friends, waves; they come and then die away. Only some of the thoughts echo in our mind forever.
It was Sunday 6th September 2015, it was pretty normal as every day, but I’d been depressed for few days. I was continuously reluctantly recalling some sad memories of past few years. In the evening, I started losing my patience and driving more and more frenzy. Then I was completely drunk in my past sad memories, and with my own fury. I was constantly getting one thought “What I have done until now in my life for which I should be proud of?” I started smoking cigarettes to reduce my stress, but it didn’t happen so. Then I started listening music but still it didn’t happen so. Then I sat down on my computer chair, music was playing in the background, but I started losing contact with external reality. Random thoughts were going on my mind and I almost felt that I started talking to someone else, I started asking questions on my mind, but not getting any answer.
Then suddenly one voice came from my within, it said, “First let go of the hatred which you’re holding on that constantly making you resentful about your past and experience the peace in your mind for a moment.”
I suddenly realized it was nothing but that nagging voice of my conscience. I became calm and at peace with myself for a moment.
Then it said: “Holding on to hatred makes you feel like you deserve something which you have not had, that you want to watch yourself be the person what you’ve wished to be. You may not realise this but this is how you feel always, but it is possible that this kind of expectation rests somewhere deep within you, and that is why this kind of thought has occupied on your mind so much.”
It said then: “You must understand that being someone you wish to be is the same as loving that someone in your mind and you must also understand that loving is not a possession, so in a way being someone you wish to be is not a possession.”
I was astonished for a moment that this kind of extensive thought and logic has come from my within! I then started contemplating again.
It said then: “We love celebrities, we love great philosophers, we love great scientists, we love great poets and so forth, but we do not own any of them. Owning someone, and loving someone are not the same things. Accept that you love yourself as what you are now not that someone what you wish to be but love silently.”
I was listening and agreeing on what it was saying.
It said then: “When we love someone, it is natural that they occupy our mind so in a way when you love yourself, you occupy your own mind like now.”
I agreed and said, “But nowadays I see most of the people loving themselves as what they are and the truth is that they are so engrossed in love with themselves that they can’t even judge whether they are making any sense out of their behaviour and thoughts or not; you want me to be like that?”
It said then: “Well, maybe they don’t contemplate in themselves much, maybe they don’t introspect much, maybe they are unable to engage in what’s called metacognition, or the process of thinking critically and reflectively about our own thoughts. they don’t think harder before acting, maybe they have less knowledge about the world, or they have less spiritual knowledge.”
I replied: “Okay I have understood, but then what you want me to be? Not like them not like what I wanted to be? Then what?”
It said then: “There is an “Anonymity” in everyone, which has the actual power to determine what is right and what is wrong, which has the power to determine what is valuable and what is not. Most importantly, which has the power to wield a person; and that is your soul, your conscience, your feelings, your emotions. your thoughts. You can’t see them but they are still felt and experienced by you. So be that “Anonymity”. And the truth is that you are now being that “Anonymity”.”
I said: “I have understood, but this has no actual value in the real world.”
It said then: “I thought you said you should be proud of yourself?”
“Yes.” I said.
It said then: “Who is the another one in the world except you to determine your value. Since life itself is full of craziness and at the bottom utterly illogical. Man strives toward reason only so that he can make rules for himself. Some instances are these �"
Degree �" to measure of a certain person’s level of knowledge in a specific field of study but not experience, intelligence and maturity.
Exam(s) �" to measure of a certain person’s ability to retain information about a specific subject but not creativity and innovation.
Class �" to divide people into strata based on perceived social attributes, attitudes or character, attire or economic status but not on spirituality and divinity.
Rank �" to delineate superiority and precedence over another or others among people but not equality and fairness.
But life itself has no rules. That is its mystery and its unknown law. What you call knowledge is an attempt to impose something comprehensible on life, on society, and on earth.”
It said then: “The important thing in life is to make everything meaningful out of the paradoxes of life; a meaningful season, a meaningful day, a meaningful friend, a meaningful thought. Live life in a manner that there is a meaning of life, otherwise, survival is just another way of getting closer to death. Think about yourself in such a healthier way, you’ll be no more victimized by your own thoughts.” Because “Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself.”