My True Emergence... Over Dinner

I wrote this toast a few months ago. A long chapter of my life had come to an end, and my friends I thought it necessary to give those years and the version of me who'd lived them a proper sendoff.

Subjectively… an ancient lifetime, lived within the adolescent space of 16 years has left me newborn, flailing about in a sensory-deprived state of near-constant disorientation, sometimes fear and always exhilaration.  That lifetime’s accumulated numbness is now slipping off of my outer crust, as would the surface of a glacier upon rumbling silently into a warm sea.  At its inception, this gathering was intended as nothing more than a peppery wake for “Glacier-Girl” - a festive dirge, sailing me through the dank canals of my old self toward the hope of incandescent warmth.

But I think this is really something else now… something more… because recent evolutions and revolutions have been epically noteworthy in their happenstance.  This IS a wake.  My former frozen self deserves to be laid to rest properly, with pomp and circumstance and hard liquor.  But, more importantly, my emerging self is as deserving of recognition.

First, respects to that Siberian Being can be made simply… with the raising of a glass and a tilting of the head.

Most importantly, I want to welcome you all to this: the Coronation of the full scope of My Own Accord.  Behind my eyes, the erection of my pedestal is a delicately weighted and measured process, humming bricks of golden stone layered lovingly by Javier Bardem, the raw animal lust in his eyes apparent.

I am warmed by that admiration.  It mirrors what I see in the looking glass that previously belonged to the coldhearted Queen who once ruled my icy dark age with an iron fist.  But the Ice Queen is thawing, slowly.  She is the mirror… and the fairest… and all things to herself.

She now rules more benevolently, wielding love instead of fear… most days.  And the voices whispering to her as she moves through my mind and my heart all are shades of the women here with me tonight.  You have all inspired me and comforted me and supported me and soothed me.  You have all shown me what love and respect for myself should most closely resemble.  I am now living by your example, and I am empowered by your inner wisdom - wisdom that is becoming my own.

I sit here enjoying a new state of freedom.  I’m at liberty rather than in a confinement of my own making… and you have all actively and lovingly participated in setting me free.  Thank you.

And thank you all for celebrating with me tonight.                                      

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

This flowed with such a liberating feel.. a hopeful courage that carried you over time, through so many circumstances... Made me want to know more. to discover the thoughts still lingering within the lines.. Such an intricate write.