Wounds

After dinner I felt sick again, and Vicki was fine with taking me home. She didn’t want me to overdo it, but i knew this feeling was not a real illness. The queasiness I felt was doubt and guilt. They sat in my stomach like two, large balls of ice.

She helped me to the door and kissed the back of my hand as we approached it. Then she stopped me at the last step to give me a good night kiss. When we parted she purred and wished me a good night, while I could only feel more guilt.

Perhaps i rushed into this. Stupid Sierra. It was all her fault. She had to play that card, and she knew i would reach for it. Well, reach for it I did, and now I’m stuck with it.

I didn’t leave inside until Vicki’s car was gone and I sighed, opening the door. There was no red head to greet me, instead i heard the tv playing from the living-room.

When I entered, i found her asleep, wrapped up in the blankets I had set out for her last night. She was breathing deep, hair around her face in a mess. Though, I couldn’t help but stare. She was beautiful. If only she was like that inside as well.

I knew her attitude had to be from something from her past. Something happened to create this nasty personality she showed to everyone.

“Who hurt you?” I whispered, running my fingers through her hair.

Her eyes fluttered open slightly, looking up at me in her dream-like state. She thrusted her arms out to me, as if trying to hug the air and I only stood there and stared.

“Cuddle me.” She demanded, half mumbling it as she struggled to keep away.

“Excuse me?” I raised a brow.

But she grabbed me in her iron grip and wrapped her arms around me, holding me against her chest. She was awake enough to tuck the blanket around us both and i was blushing head to toe.

Though all my guilt and doubt washed away in her arms and instead i was filled up with a warm feeling in my stomach. Too soon I was falling asleep to her heartbeat and the smell of her perfume.

 

Morning came with a start. It started off by being man handled. Or better yet, in this case, woman handled. I was tossed onto the floor once Sierra woke and she grumply stepped over me to the bathroom. I grumbled, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I had never slept so soundly before. I was really confortable there all night.

Though, i didn’t notice that the red head had slept in just a tank top and panties, and once realizing this, I blushed head to toe. I fixed my own shirt and skirt and ran to my bedroom to change. I slid into my work outfit, peeking around the door to see if Sierra would intrude on my changing again, but she was still in the shower. Singing off key i might add.

Should I get my morning coffee? I sighed at the thought. I would have to see Vicki, and i would get those feelings again. Maybe it would be best to talk to her about it. Maybe explain to her that I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet. I nodded to myself. With that in mind, I was ready to head out.

But Sierra took my hand, stopping me.

“Wait,” She stood in front of me in her towel, “You’re gunna go get coffee right?”

I nodded.

“If i give you some money, would you grab me some food? I’m starving.”

She was being polite. This was new.

“Sure. What do you want?”

“Anything,” She shrugged, “I’m not picky.”

She shoved a twenty into my hand and finally let it go. Then she left to the bedroom and I stared at the money in my hand. Blood money. It had to be. Sighing I shoved it into my pocket and continued to my favorite gas station.

When I arrived there Vicki wasn’t at the counter and felt both relieved and worried. Was today her day off and she didn’t want to tell me? I peeked around the store while grabbing my usual coffee and an armful of food for Sierra.

As I approached the counter, there was still no sign of Vicki. I waited almost ten minutes until someone exited the back room, and I saw the familiar purple color of my girlfriend’s hair. Her hair was back in low ponytails, and she wore pumpkin earrings. It complimented well with her orange contacts today and I couldn’t stop the smile on my face when i saw it.

Her eyes landed on me as she pulled a broom from the back and she dropped it, running to me. She hugged me tight and gave me a kiss, nearly knocking over my coffee from the counter. Her eyes were lit up.

“You look like you’re feeling better,” She brushed my hair from my face to press her wrist against my forehead and she stared into my eyes. “Much better.”

I blushed and enjoyed the small bit of butterflies i felt with her wrist on my forehead. I stared back, a small smile on my lips. Then the yawn came and she chuckled, returning back behind the counter.

She rang up all of my stuff and gave me the total. I just paid with the twenty the red head had given me earlier and collected the change, stuffing it into my purse. Vicki took my hands in hers after putting everything in a bag for me.

“I really am so happy to see you feeling better. I was so worried about you feeling sick last night when I took you home that I barely slept.”

Aww, she worried about me that much? Dang, she so sweet. I don’t deserve her, honestly. She deserved someone better than me, yet she was so happy to be with me.

“I’m sorry. Don’t worry too much okay?” I rubbed her hands with my thumbs and sighed, “I want you to get some rest tonight.”

“But what about our date? We never got to finish it last night.” She frowned.

“We have other nights. Plenty other nights. Tonight you need to rest.”

She sighed, nodding, “Alright, alright. Fine. But only because you’re saying that because you care about me.”

I smiled slightly. I did. I cared about her. She was special to me, but perhaps she wasn’t special to me like I was hoping. I knew i cared about her much, but maybe not as much as i thought.

I just couldn’t form the words. I couldn’t open my lips and tell her that she deserved someone better. That she should be with someone who wasn’t in the situation I was. Instead, all I could do was nod and smile like nothing was wrong, and carry through with being her girlfriend. Who knows, maybe I’d grow to have those feelings for her?

She leaned over the counter to give me one last kiss before sending me on my way back home. She waved me off, smiling ear to ear as I left and yet again the balls in my stomach grew two sizes bigger as i walked home.

 

Dumping Sierra’s bag of food in her lap she smirked and dug in. I wasn’t surprised when she went for the sandwich first. It was the same one I got her when we first officially met, though i doubt she would even remember. She was so starved that day, she probably didn’t think twice of what was in the sandwich.

Her eyes found mine when I sat beside her on the couch and I waited for her to finish her bite before talking to her.

“I’m writing a file on recent gang activity in the area. And since you have probably been inside each one, I wanted to hear from a reliable source on what their plans have been lately.”

The red head scoffed and took another bite, rolling her eyes, “And how can this be reliable information if you can’t put my name in the paper?”

Damn. She was right. She would have to be taken in for questioning and that would risk exposer of everything we were doing. Keeping her hidden. Well, there goes my idea.

“But, I can give you information that pretty much any John Smith or Jane Doe would know on the streets.”

I frowned. That wouldn’t help. But it was the only option i had.

“Alright. Shoot.”

She took another bite, finally answering, “Well, I know Inferno and Vyper have been at each other’s throats for some time. They’re both trying to take over this part of the city. Each has a reward for the other leaders’ head. I heard it was at nearly two hundred grand to take one out. Four hundred grand to take both. If you did that then there would be no order and evenutally the gangs would tear themselves apart.”

Four hundred grand. My jaw hit the floor. How did they have the money to pay for that? I tried to absorb all the information as Sierra ate and I came to admire watching her eat, even though the woman never chewed with her mouth closed and the sound of her smacking lips made me want to smack her.

All my mind could do was scream out, kiss me. I wanted her to. I needed her to. It’s like I was a fire that needed to be quenched and she was the water I needed. Just out of reach.

She seemed to recieve the vibes I was releasing and she set her sandwich aside, only to replace my face in her hands. Her fingers tangled in my hair as she pulled my face to hers and she kissed me with a rough force again, tongue teasing my lips, teeth grazing against them. I tried to keep in rhythm, arms around her neck as I held her closer, like i couldn’t stand to be apart from her. I didn’t want any space between us, and I shivered when she grunted in my ear, pulling her lips away to kiss across my jaw and down my neck.

But then I thought about Vicki, and i quickly tore away, panting. She was out of breath as well, eyes lost in mine. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. The only sound between us was the sound of us trying to catch our breaths.

Every inch of me was on fire. So unlike when I was with Vicki. She was gentle, and caring. Soft. Almost loving even. But around Sierra, she was more fierce. More raw like an untamed wildfire that only I could tame. And she gave me a rush of excitement that I only felt with her.

My voice cracked when I spoke to her, “I’m sorry. I can’t...”

“It’s whatever. I’m only paying you back for letting me stay here right? I have nothing else to give you anyway,” Her voice wavered between betrayal and anger, and too soon her eyes were back on the tv and she was stuffing her mouth again.

I tried to fight back the tears, tried to hold them in until I reached my bedroom. I shut the door behind me, throwing myself onto the bed as I cried quietly.

I spent well over thirty minutes crying, till I couldn’t let anything out anymore, and I was left shaking. I looked at the clock, wiping my eyes and I collected my boots for work. Tying them I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and I relaxed into them. Turning my head, I was suprised to find Vicki holding me. I sniffled, raising a brow.

“W..when did you get here?” I asked, my breaths soon turning to hiccups.

“Your sister called me. Told me you two had a fight. So I came here straight after work to check on you.” She rubbed my back, holding me tight. “Is everything alright?”

No.

“Yeah, I’m better now. Now that you’re here.”

Liar. You wished it was Sierra holding you. Shut up. Ugh. Brain stop thinking.

She smiled softly, but warmly as she gave me a squeeze, “Why don’t I take you to work?”

I chuckled slightly, “It’s just down the street though.”

“I know, but I can’t go home feeling like you’re not safe or feeling alright. It eases me.”

I could appreciate her protectiveness. It was adorable to an extent, but she started to step into the borders of over protectiveness. And that wasn’t cute. I cleared my throat, trying not to cough when doing so.

“Alright. If it puts your mind at ease. My purse is on the kitchen counter.”

She sat me on the bed before nodding to fetch it. I took a deep breath, looking up to see the red head leaning on the doorway. Her eyes were of pure hunger, a fire deep inside them, but she never moved from her position. It drew me to her, emotionally. I wanted to stand up myself, and go to her and let her hold me, but i fought those instincts.

“Are you coming back after work?” She spoke up.

“Depends. If I’m working late then Vicki will just pick me up for our date.”

She scowled, entering while shutting the door close. “Do you even like that freak?”

“I said stop calling her that, Sierra.” I glared. She was so irritating.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Dangit. She was right. I purposely avoided answering that.

“I think she’s sweet and kind and I want to give us a chance.”

She snorted, crossing her arms, “Right. Sweet and crap. Uh huh. Hells, look at yourself, Drake. You were miserable trying to get away from me. Like I said. You’re obssessed with me. Why not just admit it?”

I got in her face, fuming on end. I huffed, hand on her chest to pin her to the wall. “Stop it. Right now. You think you’re so great. That the world bows to you because you’re this amazing woman. Well look in the mirror for once and put that stupid ego aside.”

There was a sliver of fear behind her eyes, but it too soon vanished and she shoved my hand away. Then it was her turn to be in my face, and she grabbed my jaw and stared at me in the eyes. There were a mix of emotions. Anger. Lust. A fire that’s flames were buring hot and bright. A need for something. Something I couldn’t figure out.

But she dropped me onto the bed and kicked the door open after turning the handle. Vicki stood there, frozen with fear when Seirra towered over her. I coudl see the red head shooting daggers her way, but she only shoved her hands in her pockets and returned to the couch. I could hear the channels changing as Vicki entered the room.

She had concern written on my face. Though her eyes lingered on the doorway for only a fraction until they fell on my face again. She tried a smile, and though i knew it was forced, i tried one as well.

“I got your purse. Are you ready for work?”

Was I ever really ready?

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

I didn’t give another look towards the red head as we left.

 

Vicki gave me her usual soft kiss goodbye once she dropped me off and I heard a lot of chatter from my coworkers when I entered the building. Zeus was the first to speak up when he asked me who that was they saw me kiss. I answered easily that she was my girlfriend and everyone in the building suddenly spoke up louder and faster. They exchanged rumors, and too soon the rumors had spread throughout, some even reaching my doorway.

“Of course we were all turned down by Drake. She’s gay.”

“Girlfriend? She never mentioned seeing anyone.”

“She’s into creepy and dark women?”

They never stopped and they just seemed to get weirder and more odd as the day progressed. I worked on my report, filing in everything Sierra had told me and sent off the information to both Mason and the director.

My eyes always seemed to linger on the place between two streets where Sierra would stand. And my heart fell into my stomach when she wasn’t there. She was my favorite thing to admire from my office, and now she wasn’t there to look at.

Pull yourself together, Drake. You have a girlfriend. One who cares about you and is sweet and treats you right. Better than Sierra would. She’s only around to use you. You’re just her doormat that she pays you with kisses.

God. Those kisses though. Sweet hells. They consumed my mind, even when I was kissing Vicki. I felt used, dirty, and in sudden need of a shower. I itched at my arms, making a face when Mason entered my office.

Though he seemed cool and mild tempered. Not something he did often when entering my office. He set down my file on top of my desk, giving me a look. A look of approval? Dissapointment? To be honest, with that man, it was hard to tell.

“This report here. Is everything in it true?”

I nodded.

“Where did you get this information?”

Just play it cool. Lie about it. Great. Now I’m encouraging lying. Slowly becoming bad cop over here.

“I paid a hooker.”

Mason coughed when he heard this, eyes going wide, “You did what? You’re basing your files off something a hooker said?”

I jumped in my seat when he raised his voice and pounded on the desk. Instinctively I curled into a ball and answered with, “She used to be a part of both gangs. She admited it herself.”

His eyes slanted, “And why didn’t you take her here for interviewing?”

I gulped hard, “She wanted to keep her identitiy a secret.”

Mason sighed, rubbing at his face before looking over the report again. He waved it in the air and nodded to me, “Fine. This isn’t going to be filed until the director approves.” Then he turned to the others and yelled, “You hear that? Any facts you have to report about the gangs in the city must go through both the director and I before they are taken into account.”

And with that he left my office, grumbling along the way. He mumbled a good job to me as he left, but other than that, he made no other intention to speak to me further. I looked at the clock. Almost lunch time. Vicki would be picking me up for a lunch date.

Thinking of Vicki my stomach curled into a ball and I didn’t want to move from my seat. Why do I feel this way? Why does thinking about her make me sad, while thinking about Sierra not only infuriate me, but draw me to her and give me those feelings I couldn’t feel with Vicki?

Sighing I picked myself up, and collected my things. I headed towards the door and said my goodbyes to my fellow cops. Some were getting files for their night out in their cars. Others were getting clocked in for their patrols. I wondered what it would be like to get out of here for awhile and patrol.

I waited on the corner street for Vicki. She pulled up ten minutes late, blushing. When given my usual flowers, they were regular roses this time, with one black rose in the center. She smiled at me, eyes beaming.

“Sorry I was late, Lis. I was picking out the perfect roses to give you.”

Aww.

Wait no. Not aww. Well... yes aww, she’s my girlfriend. But, wait no, not aww because these feelings. Ugh. What do i do?

My thought process skidded to a stop when she wrapped me in her arms in front of the building. She kissed me softly, lips gently sucking on mine. I relaxed my own, matching the kiss and she smiled against my lips. Behind me I heard a lot of whistles and woohoos. I could only find myself rolling my eyes, knowing well that my coworkers were cheering us on from the outside. My cheeks were a deep red and Vicki laughed slightly.

“I forgot we were in front of your building. Sorry. Ready for our lunch date?”

I nodded, not sure i could say anything without it coming out stupid, so i took her hand as she lead me to her car. She opened my door, sitting me down and buckling me in. Okay Vicki, you can stop. She’s so protective, I was starting to feel overwhelmed by it. I mean, sorry Vic, but I’m twenty six, not four.

She started the car once she entered and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel while thinking. Then her fingers did the thing, of when she was nervous and they played around with the blinker light.

“How would you feel about going somewhere out of the city for lunch?”

I blinked. “Like, how far?”

She played with her thumbs. “Like, running away with me to another city and never coming back?”

I stared at her. What was she thinking? “Um, what?”

“I know it sounds crazy, but this place is holding us both back. In another city you could be a cop. A real cop. One that’s out saving lives and being a hero.”

“And what about you?”

She grinned, “Well, I’ve always wanted to own my own restraunt. Gothic style, and everything we serve is halloween themed all year round.”

I watched her light up talking about it, and i found myself smiling and admiring her as she did so. Her earrings danced every time she moved her head and i noticed she had slipped on a halloween-like bracelet on her right wrist that dangled and danced along when she spoke with her hands. Which happened to be often enough. The girl could never sit still long.

When she had trailed off the subject and into something totally off course I tried my best to listen along and understand, but I just couldnt. Nothing she was saying was making sense. And then her eyes looked towards the street behind me instead my face and she started to speak in Italian. It was sexy, that i had to admit, but i was completely left out of whatever she was saying at that point. So I improvised.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned forward, grabbing her face. I silenced her with a kiss, kissing her like Sierra did with me and she melted. Though she couldn’t match the heat of the kiss and her kiss back was only soft and angelic like she knew.

When we parted she put the car into drive and blushed, looking out the side window to check for traffic before pulling out. She wouldn’t meet my gaze until she parked us outside the diner I had taken Sierra to when we first started talking.

“That kiss surprised me,” She smiled, “But I enjoyed it much.”

Good. I just wanted her to come back to reality and not have me so lost and stranded out in the middle of the sea without a life jacket. Honestly, that’s how I felt when she did that. Just, stranded.

“Let’s have some lunch,” I offered my hand, but she rejected it.

Instead she exited her door and ended up at mine yet again. It seemed to be a tradition of hers. She opened mine, offering her hand to me, but when I went to reach for it, i tripped on my boot, standing up and I ended up tackling her to the ground. She blushed, looking up at me, eyes in a daze.

My head spun and from our inpact with the concrete i knew we both had to be out of breath. It felt like there were fishes swimming around in my brain, my palms were scrapped and i could feel the trickle of blood on them. They were above her head, my face close to hers.

She smiled slightly, moving her head up to capture my lips in a soft kiss. Gah, stop with the kissing. She had to kiss me every chance she got, didn’t she? Not that i didn’t enjoy it, it was just, too much. I gave a quick kiss back till I broke it, and she gave me a sad look when I did.

“Just hungry. You alright?”

She nodded, “We better go eat before you lunch break is over.”

I tried my best to stand, and offered my hand to her again to help her up. She took it with a stong grip and stood beside me, brushing herself off. Then she looked down at her hand, seeing the blood from my palm on hers. Her eyes widen, and she took my hands into hers, turning them over to examine them.

They were pretty scratched up. Bleeding too, but not too bad. I’ve had worse in my own home tripping over things. Being accident prone had its moments.

Vicki surprised me the most when she took my palms to her lips and she kissed them, licking the blood from her lips. I stood still, I think mostly from shock, as she did it again and again until she dug a silk scarf from her bag. Tearing it in half, she wrapped my palms with it, kissing them once more.

“Be more careful, Lis.” She licked her lips clean, smiling softly, and I shivered.

What the hell was that? Um, ew. I knew Vicki was different, but ew. Goths are into that sort of stuff right? Please tell me that was normal. Please tell me people like her do that stuff all the time... oh what did I get myself into?