Tiny Baby Bits

Ted had a dreamless sleep, but woke up feeling refreshed. He muttered sleepily, sitting up in his bed. He froze as he was about to wipe his eyes when he caught sight of Pride, sitting at the end of his bed and watching the teen intently. Ted squirmed uncomfortably.

"What are you doing?"

Pride shrugged as if he wasn’t staring at Ted as if he was a meal. "Just watching you sleep. I can't sleep myself, and I thought it would be interesting to watch you do it. Actually, at one point, I tried getting into your head to watch you dream, but you have got some high security defenses put around that head of yours. For someone who didn't believe in magic, you're equipped with some high level stuff." The demon laughed as if what he'd said was amusing.

Ted was trying to understand if it was indeed funny, but he was too sleepy to fully understand the nonsense Pride was spouting. "Look, you can't just sit there in plain sight. What if Alice had come in?"

"I would have hidden."

"But what if you didn't notice her coming? I know it's not likely, but it would be easier for me if you could move around the house without worrying about getting caught." Ted rubbed his eyes now, then watched Pride c**k his head like a confused puppy. "Okay, that works. After school today, how about we make a show of me finding you as a lost and sad puppy? Alice loves dogs. Maybe I could convince her to let you stay. And then you can go wherever you want without worrying about getting caught."

"Sure," Pride said with a shrug, not seeming to really care. He started floating upwards slightly until he was at a height Ted assumed to be just comfortable floating range.

"Sounds like a plan," Ted muttered as he wormed his way out of bed to go brush his teeth. He stopped when he noticed Pride was float-following him. The teen stopped, tilted his head back, and released a groan. "Pride. What are you doing?" He asked, turning to the floating demon.

"Following you, Teddy. I can't let you leave my sight - literally. You're under my protection, so I have to make sure you stay safe."

"I'm just going to brush my teeth!"

"You could choke on the brush. Anyway, it's not in my control. I am bound by your summon to follow you."

Ted made a disgruntled face, but gave up. He left his bedroom, assuming Pride would change shape if Alice got near.

Pride watched with great interest as Ted brushed his teeth and washed his face. At one point, he wetted a hand and poured a large dollop of face wash onto the palm of his hand. He then proceeded to lather the wash between his hands, smiling as it grew sudsy. "Look, Teddy!"

"That's great, Pride. You keep playing with that. I'm going to take a shower. You mind turning around so I can have a little privacy?"

"Well I don't really feel comfortable letting you out of my sight. What if I do this?" That said, Pride's eyes disappeared, and his shape remained human minus the two eyeballs.

Ted stumbled backwards and screamed - not unlike a woman.

Pride's eyes reappeared and he frowned. "What?"

"Don't do that!" Ted shouted, clutching his chest as his heart fought to catch up. "That's disgusting!"

To Ted's surprise, Pride fumed at that. He pointed an angry finger at Ted and opened his mouth to scold the human when a knock sounded from the bathroom's entrance.

"Ted? You alright? I heard a girly scream." Alice sounded worried.

The teen rubbed his reddening face. "Yeah, sorry," he called back, reaching behind to turn the shower water on. "I just, uh, I slipped on my way to the shower. I'm fine, really."

"Okay," she said, though she didn't sound convinced.

Ted waited for the sound of his sister's steps to disappear, then turned back to Pride. "Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. It's just a human thing to be startled by things we aren't used to, you know?"

Pride pouted, and Ted decided it was a cute and childlike expression. "I would have expected better than such obstinate behavior from a human such as yourself." The demon crossed his arms and leaned back as he floated, positioning himself for relaxment.

Ted made a face as he pulled his shirt over his head, deciding to adjust to this new accompanied-by-a-demon lifestyle. "What does that even mean? Why are you always so cryptic?" Ted waited as he removed his pants, but got no response from the levitating demon. "What were you talking about when I woke up this morning? Something about defenses in my brain?"

Ted couldn't see him, because he'd slipped into the shower and under its hot spray, but he was pretty sure Pride was shrugging nonchalantly. "There's a wall around your head. I can't read your mind or get in your head to possess you. At first I thought it was part of the summoning you used, but the one you used was really basic. The only spell it had tacked on was attaching me to you. There's also a ward around your house keeping things that go bump in the night - things like me -  from getting in, but your summoning negated it's effect. You invited me in, so it won't affect me."

The human frowned as he lathered the soap in his hair, styling it to look something akin to an Elvis do. "That's not right. I didn't put those there.And I know Alice doesn't believe in magic. She doesn't even believe in religion because she can't prove it. She's all about science and logic."

"Maybe your parents?" Pride suggested. Ted heard a suspicious squishing sound, but thought it might be less stressful to not look.

"They're both dead - and I'm pretty sure you knew that," Ted said, voicing his thoughts. Pride had known about Alice without Ted telling him; he was pretty sure the demon knew most everything about him.

Pride was laughing as the suspicious squishing sound continued. "I did know that! Even though I can't get in your head, I can see all of the things that have happened where I go. Including your tiny baby-butt when you had to be given a bath in the very same tub you're showering in. Ha! And your tiny baby-penis!"

"Pride!"

"But maybe they put the wards up when you were younger. Anyway, wherever the putting up of the ward happened, I haven't been there yet. So I can't see it happening." There was a  short bout of silence. "I also know you internet history. You're pretty kinky, Teddy-Bear."

Ted fumed silently, grabbing his bar of soap and pushing the shower curtain aside just quick enough to chuck the bar at the demon. He moved the curtain back too quickly to see the hygiene product connect with the demon's face, but he heard a satisfying thunk. The thunk was followed by a cry from Pride.

"Ugh! This tastes disgusting!"

*

Breakfast went over smoothly, and Ted managed to put a small quantity of his scrambled eggs in a napkin, which he stuffed in the pocket of his backpack where mouse-shaped Pride was hiding. At school, he faced a problem when Pride crawled up Ted's shirt - which caused him to perform a jaunty, exclusively upper body, dance for his classmates - to complain about being bored. He stuffed his phone in his pocket, playing music through a pair of headphones for Pride.

During lunch, Ted was sure he was going to receive a heart attack from how high his blood pressure shot when Pride took on a human form - this time looking a little younger and wearing clothes identical to those in Ted's closet - and obtained a lunch tray. He sat next to Ted with his other friends.

"Hello, humans. My name is Pr- Peter, and I am new to this school. May I sit with you?" Though he had already seated himself before he'd spoken.

One of Ted's friends, a particularly judgemental teenager named Eric, gave Ted a silent, uncomfortable look. On the other hand, Charity, Ted's lifelong crush, was quick to welcome the demon.

"Of course you can!" She was always preaching about acceptance.

Pride grinned at Charity. "Wow! How very accepting of you," he replied, his volume one notch above acceptable speaking level. Ted wondered if the specific use of that word had anything to do with Pride's apparent ability to read minds.

Eric, who was actually dating Charity (Ted had that kind of circle of friends), leaned across the table towards Pride. "So Peter, where'd you move from?"

Pride laughed a short, loud guffaw. No one at the table seemed to understand what was so funny. "Have you ever heard of a place called Hell?" Ted choked on his bite of brown green beans, and his friends seemed equally shocked. "Yep. Good old Hell, California!" Pride laughed as if he'd heard an amusing joke.

Ted's friends shared a concerned look, and the aforementioned teen cradled his face in his hands as he silently panicked. Pride turned to his cafeteria food, picking up his fork slowly. Realizing the demon was watching him, Ted deliberately put his own fork down and picked up his limp cheeseburger with his hands. He took a bite too, even though he wasn't fond of the school's burgers.

Pride took a bite, chewed a couple times, then spat the mush out onto his tray. "Ugh! That's disgusting! Isn't this supposed to be meat? This tastes like soy!"

Ted placed what he hoped was a calming hand on Pride's shoulder. "Hey, easy, Peter. Our School probably isn't as nice as your's was. They use cheap and fake foods to cut down on costs."

Pride's shoulders relaxed as he forked some green beans and sniffed them disdainfully. "What's the point of food if not to enjoy it?"

"Uh, to survive," Eric said bluntly, almost like a question.

The demon turned his gaze slowly to Eric, his face bearing the most threatening look Ted had seen so far. Apprehensive of what words Pride was formulating, he stomped down on the shapeshifter's foot (which bore a shoe identical to the ones on Ted's feet). Pride's expression changed immediately to one of cheerfulness. "Gee! How helpful of you, Eric! Thank you for enlightening me!" There was a beat of tense and awkward silence before Pride stood up suddenly. "I think I've had enough to eat. Good day."

The demon picked up his tray, turning around and taking a moment to observe other students emptying their trays and discarding them. He walked towards the tray depository in a stilted way that suggested he did not walk often. Afterwards he slipped into the bathroom, and Ted had the feeling that Pride wanted to speak to him.

After a couple minutes of conversation with Eric and Charity about their strange new classmate, Ted excused himself to go to the bathroom. When he entered the musty bathroom, the teen was surprised to not see anyone else.

He turned to go when his back was slammed against the tiled wall by a lump of what looked like tar. The lump of tar developed a beak of a mouth and too many sets of arms for Ted to register in his state of panic. He also noticed the feel of something viscous and sticky wrapping around one of his legs. The lights in the bathroom flickered rapidly and the world seemed to rattle ferociously as the creature pinning Ted down spoke in a raspy voice.

"Who the hell do you think you are, you puny caitiff. You measly wretch. You insignificant. Lilliputian. Trifling. Microscopic. Cur."

Author's Note

*Cue dramatic narrating voice* "In the next episode, we revisit the amnesiac boy who got swallowed by sand. Maybe this time he'll learn to listen tot he voice."

PS. My captcha was 'unmilked'. The imagery...