The Automobile (the 24th of May, 2013)

In which I discuss car keys, cars, and driving.

You can tell quite a bit about a person by looking at his car.

 

In fact, you can tell quite a bit about a person by looking at his keys. Because I am oh so prepared for this passage (I’ve been thinking about cars since I’ve gotten home), I have my car keys sitting on the desk in front of me. It’s pretty pathetic, actually, since I only have three things dangling from my very old clip-on thing.

 

I have my car key, the clicker that locks and unlocks the car door, and a Linkin Park keychain.

 

I did have another car key, but it’s gone now. I used to have other keys as well, but they come and go when their uses run out. I want to get another keychain, but I can’t find another keychain from a band I really like. One day, I hope to be the proud owner of many band-themed key chains, but for now I have one.

 

I’m straying from the point I’m attempting to make. I’m trying to talk about the psychology behind looking at people’s car keys.

 

When I look at other people’s car keys, I can see into their souls.

 

Now, that might sound like a little too much, but some part of me sees the truth in it. And I’m not trying to say that I see into the entirety of a person’s soul just based on car keys. I’m merely saying I can see a portion of the soul that person is willing to share through car keys. I also see quite a bit of humor in this statement as well, but I’m trying to avoid that at the moment.

 

I know people who have multiple sets of keys, which show me these people are busy and have a very eventful life. Then there are people like me, who have very little to show in the ways of car keys. When I look at my car keys, I see simplicity. There’s only so much I need on my clip-on thing that contains my essential car things. A lot of useless stuff only gets in the way of me and my car ride. For other people, this isn’t the case. Other people might need the extra things, the frilly glittery key chains and the over-the-top lanyards.

 

While I’m thinking about it, I have other sets of keys as well that also scream simplicity. I had my dorm room keys (thankfully, the majority of those keys are gone) and I have a set of house keys. I could combine all my keys onto one lanyard, which would change a lot about what my car keys say about my soul, since everything would be in one place. I would look a little more disorganized and a little less simple than what I come off as right now. This wouldn’t be so bad, since my life is always a little disorganized and never simple. My car keys (along with other important keys) would speak more of the truth.

 

Now, back to what I was saying about people and their cars.

 

Sometimes I think people don’t realize how much of their souls they bare on their cars. We paint the cars our favorite colors sometimes. Or sometimes we paint fancy intricate designs on our cars. Sometimes we place hood ornaments or bumper stickers in or on our cars. All of these things provide a unique insight into our lives.

 

My bumper stickers, for example, are song lyrics from Owl City (a band I like). I openly show that I like this band. I give other drivers the ability to judge my musical taste (although with how loud my music is to begin with, they probably already do that without the help of the bumper stickers). I bare a piece of my soul to other drivers in the form of my taste in music.

 

Originally, I had a couple of political stickers on my car. I gave other drivers detailed information on something that tends to be considered personal. For the majority of people I have met, I don’t like sharing my political views with them. This isn’t because I feel as if I’m going to be judged (which I will) or that I am afraid of different political views (because I’m not). This is because it’s slightly personal and nobody needs to be aware of this fact about me immediately.

 

Yet I, along with thousands of others, post our political views on our cars for the judgment of others we probably don’t know. It’s amazing that we have the courage to post something like that.

 

Although it probably helps that we are safe from the judgment of others in our metal vehicles. We don’t have to face the judgment, and therefore it’s all right to let strangers know of our political beliefs, religious beliefs, our sense of humor, and our taste in music. We bare our souls for others using our cars, and we don’t have to deal with the human side of things.

 

Along with the bumper stickers are other forms of postage on our vehicles. When I had my permit, my mom posted a handmade sign that screamed “STUDENT DRIVER.” I was so embarrassed of that sign, but I had no say in the matter. Yet it might have helped with the torment those around me might have faced while I was learning how to drive. Because I was a student (read: I was an awful driver), I would sometimes cut people off on the highway or go ten miles under the speed limit.

 

(Funny expression, “ten miles under the speed limit”; it implies distance and speed are the same thing. This is, of course, very wrong in physics terms, but who cares, anyway? It would take so much more time to say “ten miles per hour under the speed limit.” Plus, it sounds kind of strange.)

 

The point is that I had a sign to explain to others what I couldn’t from the safety of my car: I am a student driver and therefore I will be an awful driver. Ignore my awful driving. Stay out the way. Deal with it.

 

In this case, posted signs are amazing things to have. Any sort of “student drivers on board” signs are good to know, since other drivers will be aware of a novice behind the wheel.

 

While we’re on the subject, “baby on board” signs don’t do much for me. I mean, am I supposed to drive differently around those signs? Am I supposed to drive more carefully around your car and your child? Or am I supposed to be happy you have a child with you while you drive? I don’t know what to do with that sort of information. Then again, I think of this sign as a modification of the bumper sticker. It’s another personal detail about your life that I’m now privy to. It’s another way you have bared your soul to me.

 

 And, while I’m thinking about it, the “How am I doing?” signs on vans and trucks are also very interesting. I think about their driving so much more when I’m made aware that those cars have those signs. I notice the quality of the driving on a much more critical level. I really want to call and talk about all the little mistakes these people have made. Yet I want to also tell them of the wonderful things these people have done while driving, because I think that’s the point of the “How am I doing?” signs. The point isn’t to get information that makes the employers want to fire the drivers; the point is to get information so the employers can be proud of their drivers.

 

Maybe next time, if I get the opportunity to write the number down, I’ll do that. Even though it’s dangerous to write phone numbers down while driving. Don’t do it, kids.

 

Or maybe there isn’t an actual number. It’s all a ruse to make the drivers more self-conscious of their driving. That would be entirely evil yet genius of the employers.

 

One last thing I would like to discuss when it comes to cars: They are such an important part in society, and one day this will end.

 

(I’m going to speak in terms of Americans in particular, but that doesn’t exclude other countries from my discussion. I’ve only been out of the country a couple of times, but that doesn’t make me an expert on the societal importance of cars in those countries. In fact, I’m no expert on the societal importance of cars in my country, but I digress.)

 

Americans put so much emphasis on their cars. We love our cars so much we have constructed our society around them. We have these massive highways, interstates, and streets. We have created malls separate from our towns and then put enormous parking lots next to them. Our lives revolve around the car, and we cannot deny this.

 

I use my car to commute to and from home, work, and school. Some people commute a lot more than I to their places of employment and households. This is a fact of life; we sacrifice our precious time in a car to commute to and from places that most of us don’t even enjoy. Some people like the car more than work.

 

Maybe this is why I feel a connection on road trips with the car in front of me; my precious life is being spent in a car without other people, with only my music to keep me company. And for that other person in front of me, that might be the exact same case. So I feel my sorrow, and I pity the sorrow I believe the other driver has, and so I form an imaginary bond with said person.

 

That’s a very interesting (and kind of morbid) way of putting it. Anyway.

 

I also mentioned that one day, the golden age of the automobile will end. And it will end.

 

Gas prices will only continue to rise (never mind the politics), so then cars will only become more expensive to maintain. This will turn into a ridiculous way to spend our money, so we will stop spending money on our cars, simple as that. We will find another way to get to and from work, school, and home. This is just how America is, anyway.

 

When this occurs, we will have to redefine the ways we commute and transport goods (because gas prices will increase so will the price of the food that traveled thousands of miles from where it was grown to our supermarkets). We will have to change the way our country works in order to adapt to not having cars.

 

I, for one, think that this will be one of the most trying times in America. We will struggle and complain and experience some of the worst growing pains in our history. However, I am reminded of the word growing in the phrase growing pains. America will evolve and grow and adapt to this time. And, because of the power and strength America has, we will succeed. We don’t give up; we simply evolve.

 

How will we evolve, you might ask? I don’t know, exactly, but I hope mass transit is a part of the equation. Trains, buses, a combination of both…I don’t really care what America evolves to, but I just hope we can evolve before it becomes very difficult to do so. I think we’ll catch on soon enough. It just takes some convincing that this is a serious subject and it will happen eventually.

 

This will also not happen in my lifetime, probably. The car will continue to live and thrive while I’m still alive. This is just the way it is. I’m not too worried about this, because I absolutely love driving and love the freedom. I certainly cannot complain about this. However, the threat is still imminent and it will happen. I cannot deny this. Yet I have hope for America. We will survive.

 

Well, that’s all I can think of when it comes to driving and cars. I wanted to talk a bit about road trips and such, but that entirely revolves around me and my family and frankly, I don’t want to. As much fun as telling stories about road trips and driving long (ish) distances, I don’t really feel like talking about that.

 

I don’t know when I’ll write next. I’ll see you then.

Author's Note

Let me know.