The Adventures of a Boy Named Panda, Chapter 1

    In our universe there is the Milky Way galaxy, and in the Milky Way galaxy there is our planetary system. In our planetary system there is Earth. On Earth there is a continent named Asia and a country called China. In China there is a magical swamp. In that magical swamp lives Soohoo, twelve-year-old master of Kung Fu. He… has nothing to do with me. I am a plain twelve-year-old boy, in a plain room in a plain house in a plain small town in a plain state in this plain country. Plain, plain, plain.

My name is Jeffrey Cornelius Wainright. I added the Cornelius part myself. It doesn’t matter though because everyone just calls me “Panda”. They call me that because once in elementary school I told everyone that I found a baby panda living in the woods behind the school. It was just a raccoon. It started as a joke but since then it’s caught on. Everyone calls me Panda, even my Mom and Dad.

So yeah, like I said, my room is very plain. Standard. A closet, a bed, a desk, which usually has stacks of Taco Tim comics on it. Taco Tim is probably the cooest superhero in the world. He protects the Mexican city of Historia. He wears a luchador mask and is half Chupacabra, which makes him mucho cool. I don’t know many other people who read Taco Tim because the comics are all in Spanish and I don’t know many people that speak Spanish. I don’t know what the problem is. I don’t speak Spanish and I like them.

My room is very much like every other kid’s. There’s a monster who lives under my bed. He’s pretty cool. His name is Rufus. We read Taco Tim comics together. He does speak Spanish so usually if I don’t get something he’ll tell me what’s going on. My mom and dad say I’m too old to have a monster under my bed. They say I’m too old for a lot of the things I do.

There have been a lot of days that have stood out in my mind as interesting days but of all of them few have been quite like this day. Today I started middle school. It started off like all the other first days of school. I woke up, brushed my teeth and got on the bus. I sat with Bugsy like I always do. Bugsy is my best friend. I’m pretty sure Bugsy’s real name isn’t actually Bugsy. I think people call him Bugsy because he has big eyes… or it could be because he sometimes eats bugs. I don’t know. We had our usual morning bus ride conversation.

“Hi, Panda,”

“Hey Bugsy,”

“Are you excited for Middle School?” He asked in his usual nasally voice.

“I don’t know”

“I’m excited to have a locker.” Due to Bugsy’s habits and the unusual amount of dirt he carried on his clothes many have assumed that Bugsy is a dirty, slobby, kid. In reality, he was extremely organized.

“I wonder how big they are. I’ve heard that some people live in lockers.” I think I’ve heard that somewhere.

“That would be cool.”

“Yeah, I know but I don’t think I’d fit.” After all, I grew an inch last week.

“What if you greased up first?” Oh, Bugsy.

“ What if I got a pet baby Crowdoon and kept it in my locker?”

“What are those?” Bugsy always forgot about the Crowdoons.

“They’re like giant Alligators that live in the swamps where Soohoo lives.”

“And Soohoo is the Karate guy, right?”

“Kung Fu” I said. There’s a difference.

“But how would it fit in your locker?”

“It would be a baby.”

“But if a Crowdoon is a giant alligator wouldn’t a baby Crowdoon be the size of a normal alligator?”

He had me there.

The bus turned onto a long winding road. As soon as the building emerged from over the hills I could tell that middle school wasn’t like elementary school. It was big. There were a lot of people. Bugsy and I stepped off of the bus and were immediately trapped within a crowd of other kids. We slowly moved as a group through the large double doors. The crowd separated into several different directions. I stepped aside and opened my Taco Tim backpack. The school had mailed out a letter to all the new kids with their new locker information.

            “Locker #815. Where do you think that is, Bugsy?” I pulled my head away from the letter. Bugsy was nowhere to be found.

 I shuffled through the halls to find my locker, Locker #815. With so many people and so many lockers it could take forever to find it. I must have circled the halls three times before I found #815. And naturally, it was right next to the last person I wanted to be next to. The one girl who had been an annoying thorn in my hand since kindergarten, Amanda Williams. “Easy, Cornelius,” I thought, “just don’t look at her”.

“Hi Panda” I struggled to open my locker. “I said ‘Hi Panda’”. 12-25-88. Why wouldn’t it open? “You have to turn it left first”. She was right. It worked. “Why don’t you talk to me?”

I gave in. “Hi, Amanda.”

“Hey, haven’t you noticed that our names rhyme? Amanda and Panda!”

“Ok.”

“What do you think it means?”

“I don’t think it means anything.”

“Someone could write a song!”

“Please don’t sing.”

And just like that, Amanda was belting in the middle of the halls.

“Amaaaaanda and Paaaanda... are here in a new school. Amaaaaanda and Paaaanda have rhyming names and that’s cool!” She had the voice of an angel… that was slowly dying.

“I… um, need to get to class.”

“What’s your first class, Panda?”

“English.”

“Me too. Maybe we’re in the same class.”

And of course, we were. I could tell right away that middle school was going to be different. On the way to class, with Amanda annoyingly following me, I actually saw people kissing! It’s weird. I’ve noticed other boys starting to talk to girls… but not like playing, more like the way they do on TV. On TV people look like they want to eat each other. You can tell because when they kiss on TV they look like they’re having a battle to see who can open their mouth wide enough to swallow the other head first. I had never really thought about girls that way. That is of course before I got to English class. I’ll never forget it. The moment where I first experienced love. I got to class and sat with Bugsy, Amanda sat with us. We talked and even let Amanda in on some of our conversation when she walked in. I swear that I could hear jazzy music playing. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. She moved in a slow motion, her brunette hair blowing around her. She walked right up to her desk and spoke with her angelic voice.

“Hello class”

Hello class? Why did she say that? Wait a second, why was her desk so much bigger than everyone else’s. Wait, she was too old to be a student… but that would mean…

 She spoke again. “My name is Miss Eve.”

Oh no. How could I let this happen? I was in love with my English teacher! If Amanda or any of the bullies or anybody heard that I would not hear the end of it. She began her roll call.

“Alex DeLarge”

“Timothy Paxton”

“Jeffrey Wainright”

“Just call him Panda, everyone else does.” Amanda blurted out. Oh how I detested Amanda.

“I’ll call you Jeffrey, if you don’t mind”.

She smiled. I was silent.

 

Naturally, right after me was Amanda Williams. Miss Eve didn’t even manage to finish speaking before Amanda’s hand shot up.

“HERE!” Amanda screamed. She looked so excited. Her blonde hair was waving frantically around her head as she spoke. “And might I say, Miss Eve, that I am so excited to be in this class. I LOVE English.”

As Amanda rambled, I thought about Miss Eve. Just ten minutes ago girls were icky. What changed? I looked at Amanda… she was certainly still icky. Then I realized. Amanda was a girl. Miss Eve was a woman.

“Well, thank you, Amanda. I look forward to having you in my class.” Oh, Miss Eve.

Miss Eve continued her roll call. As far as I could see everyone was accounted for except one person. 

            “I hope I pronounce this right. Looks like it could be French. Boojsie Zidane?” Miss Eve said.

    We were all curious to see who the exotic student with such a strange name was. I remember looking around the room. With a name like that it was probably a foreign exchange student. Maybe they were from France… or even better China! Maybe I could become friends with this foreign exchange student. Not being from here, he probably needs a friend. Then he could take me to China and I could go to the magical swamp and live my life as a magical kung fu warrior like Soohoo.

            “It’s Bugsy.” A nasally voice muttered.

    Wait… what? Bugsy? Bugsy was the boy in question? Here I thought this kid would be my new friend and it turned out it was my old friend.

    Bugsy? His name was actually Bugsy? It wasn’t because he had buggy eyes or because he ate bugs? It was actually his name? I guess it never occurred to me that I didn’t actually know his name. It had always just been Bugsy. Well, I guess I did know his name.

            “That’s a very interesting name, Bugsy,” Miss Eve continued. “Where is it from?”

            “I don’t know.”

            Bugsy had been my best friend since the day we had met. I knew him so well. So well… that I didn’t know his last name. But wait, we had played and read comics and watched TV a million times… at my house. Never his… I had never thought about that.

            “Well, ok,” Miss Eve awkwardly began to talk to the class. “Welcome to 7th grade English.”

 

    “Can you believe Miss Eve gave us homework on the first day of school?” Amanda exclaimed as we left the class ignoring the clear sign my eyes were giving her to go away.

            “It’s not that bad.” I said.

    “What do you mean it’s not that bad? We have to read a whole chapter in one night! And it’s only the first class. I hope the rest of middle school isn’t like this.”

    “That’s really not that much.” After all I usually read three Taco Tim comics a night. Four if a new one recently came out. As far as I was concerned, Rufus and I would have no problem reading through one chapter. “And it sounds easy. Miss Eve said it was about animals that take over a farm. It sounds like a book for little kids.”

    “But Miss Eve also said that kids in college read it,” Amanda whined “I don’t know who Miss Eve thinks we are but we are not college kids.”

            We stopped walking as we arrived at my locker. Amanda continued to talk as she opened her own locker.

            “I think Miss Eve is just mean.”

            “She’s not mean.” I immediately responded. “Besides, didn’t you say you were so excited to be in her class?”

            “Yeah… but… that was before. “

           

“What’s Geography?” Bugsy jumped into the conversation.

            “What?” I asked.

            “I have Geography next.”

            “I think it’s like a science.” I said.

            “You boys don’t know anything. Geography is social science it’s like… where stuff is.” Her voice screeched into my ears.

            “What do you have, Panda?” Bugsy asked.

            “I have Science.” Amanda said. I don’t know why she had such a hard time distinguishing between Amanda and Panda.

            “Well?” Bugsy asked.

            I looked down at the paper schedule that had been crumpled in my pocket. Oh boy!

            “Gym!”

 

    Gym had always been my favorite class back in elementary school. We’d play all kinds of games. Sometimes the teacher would even let me make up a game. Like when we played “Steal the Bacon”. Basically one person was picked to be the bacon. They had to run around and squeal like a piggy throwing dodge balls and the first team to tag him five times before he hit everyone on their team with a ball won. I was never athletic, but it wasn’t about being athletic. It was about having fun. I couldn’t wait to see what middle school gym was like.

            I ran into the gymnasium and saw kids already there sitting on the ground in columns.

    “Who are you?” A short square shaped man yelled. His face was a box with a huge butt-chin that stayed within said box. His eyes were tiny and beady. His arms were huge. There were muscles all over this guy. There were muscles on his muscles. He reminded me of the troll that Soohoo fought to save a small village once. The troll was small but powerful but he was no match for the fiery kung-fu of the great Soohoo.

            “What’s your name, boy?” He did not have a voice. He had a roar.

            “Cornelius”

            “Cornelius?” he looked at his list. “I don’t have time for games, ok? Your name, your real name.”

            “Uh, Jeffrey Wainright.”

            “Wainright?” He looked at his list again. “Alright. Sit on the end Wainright.”

            I sat down on the ground. I didn’t know why but the boy in front of me was looking at me.

            “Cornelius?” He spoke. “What kind of stupid name is that?”

            “It’s not stupid,” I said.

            “It’s wicked stupid.”

            “I suppose you have a great name.” I said with a sarcastic tone.

            “I do. It’s Dana.”

            “Isn’t that a girl’s name?” Bad idea. Oh god, bad idea. Why did I taunt him?

            “You better watch yourself, kid.”

            I had a bad feeling about this boy, but it was cut short by the teacher, who had introduced himself as Mr. Inc.

            “In this class,” Mr. Inc spoke. “we will spend all of our time in the weight room.”

            The weight room? What? That’s not gym. Gym is supposed to be kickball and capture the flag and steal the bacon.

            “Tomorrow we will distribute lockers. After that you will change every day and be in the weight room on time.”

            Change? What? I had to change? In front of everyone???

    Mr. Inc brought us into the weight room. It was a small square room full of machines. Machines that I have never seen before. Machines with knick-knacks and doo-dads and everything. It smelled… really, really bad. Mr. Inc introduced us to the machines.

    “This is the Lat Pulldown” Mr. Inc grabbed me and plopped me on the seat. “Wainright will show us how it’s done. Now you see, Wainright reaches up.” He tapped me. “Reach up, Wainright.” I obeyed. “He grabs the bars.” I couldn’t reach them. “Grab the bars, Wainright.”

            “I can’t reach.”

    “Right, alright class. See, here’s how you adjust the machine.” He started to pull out a lever. “Some people, like Wainright, have small scrawny arms. So we adjust accordingly.”

            Gym was not my favorite class anymore.

 

            “How was gym?” Why was she always there? Why couldn’t I ever go to my locker without having to talk to her?

            “I don’t want to talk about it, Amanda.” This time it had nothing to do with the fact that I hated her.

    “Science was really interesting.” I guess if she kept talking then I didn’t have to. “The teacher’s nice and I don’t think there’s going to be a lot of homework.” 12-25-88. My locker opened on the first try. At least that was getting easier.

    “Hey, Wainright!” I turned around to see the boy who sat in front of me in gym class. He was laughing through his squished pimply face. He had shaved blonde hair and a huge black T-shirt that went to his knees and a gold chain around his neck. Not like what you see rappers wear on TV. It was an actual chain painted gold. “Loved your demonstration in class today. How sore are your scrawny arms?” I tried to ignore him. “Tell me, Wainright. Do you even have any friends?”

            “Yes.” I spoke against my best judgment.

            “We should fight.” He growled.

            “Why?”

            “Because I don’t like you, Wainright.”

            “Ok.”

            “And that’s what you do when you don’t like someone.”

            “Not always.” I glanced at Amanda.

    “Leave him alone!” Oh, god. Why Amanda? Why? He was going to make fun of me for needing Amanda to defend me or something. I just knew it.

            Something happened, though. Something I wasn’t expecting.

            “Uh… hi,” he spoke.

            “Leave Panda alone.”

    “Uh… ok,” something was wrong with him. “My name is Dana.” There was a look in his eye that I had only seen on TV. A look that boys on TV had just before they tried to swallow a girl’s head whole.

            “I don’t care what your name is. Get out of here!” Amanda yelled.

I couldn’t believe it. He actually walked away. It all hit me then. Great. I had made my first bully and he had a crush on Amanda.

 

 

Reviews

[A.J Whit]

Wow! This definitely better than anything I've written can't wait to read keep at it dude :D