Letters to Susan Part 10: Remember this whole recovery thing is a process.

Today's Precious Prodigal's Post = http://bit.ly/1M1rAFi Like what you see? Please "Like" & "Share" with your online friends. Want to read more? Go To: preciousprodigal.com

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Letters to Susan Part 10: Remember this whole recovery thing is a process.

#trusttheprocess #change

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Please "Like" & "Share" with your online friends.

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Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ”

Part of this post is my response to a devastated parent who emailed me asking how she could help her prodigal. (Note: Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.) 

Dear Susan:

A friend, who is in a recovery program, told me her “sponsor” said she only needed to change one thing about herself. Encouraged, my friend asked what it was, and her sponsor answered, “Everything.” While I understand the intent, I have to say, “Good luck with that!” because changing “everything” is quite a challenge, isn’t it?

Of course, when someone you love is acting out in destructive ways, it’s pretty obvious that something needs to change. But I think you already know that. I hope you also know you can’t change another person. We can only change ourselves, and believe me when I tell you that changing Rita is a big enough challenge for me.

Most people are resistant to change, and I’m no exception. I don’t easily adapt to new traffic patterns, new work schedules, or even Daylight Saving Time. There are people who change their furniture around regularly; I’m not one of them. If you dislike change as much as I do, you understand what I mean.

But think about it for a minute. Does anything in our lives really stay the same? We grow, we age, kids are born, grow up and move away, and the seasons come and go. Isn’t life really a series of natural, spontaneous changes?

Of course, the changes I’m talking about are a whole lot harder than those normal life changes. However, if you’re going to survive loving a prodigal and have any peace, serenity or joy, you’ll need to let God begin to make some changes in you and to be His partner in making those changes. And you’ll need to recognize that it’s a process. Like any growth, it takes time and hard work.

We’ve been unsuccessful at growing grass in our back yard, so we decided to hydro-seed. We first needed to prepare the ground, and that meant clearing away some of the rocks. Notice I didn’t say all the rocks…getting rid of every single rock just isn’t going to happen…neither in my back yard nor in my life. So the work began.

With a cultivator (an evil tool that looks like a hoe but has tines), a rake, and sometimes a shovel, I began the overwhelming task of getting rid of those rocks. I’m not 25 or physically strong, so the work had to be adapted somewhat. Despite blisters on my hands, sunburn, and sore muscles, I worked on those rocks every single day for more than three weeks. I was often exhausted, but I was also determined and knew that if I wanted grass, I had to do the work and trust the process.

Clearing those rocks from my back yard was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and it didn’t happen overnight. If I had tried to get every single rock or focused on how far I had to go, I would have quit after a day or two. Instead, I focused on the rocks I needed to work on that day and on the grass I would have at the end.

Effective change is like that…gradual, focused, goal-oriented, and specific to you. And the most effective changes require planning and hard work. But I survived both my prodigal and my back yard, and you’re going to survive this too, Susan. I promise you are.

Remember this whole thing is a process, and a faithful God is your partner in that process. He isn’t going to leave the job half done but will finish what He has begun. (Phil 1:6) In the meantime, be patient with the process and with yourself in the process.

Challenge for Today:   What might happen if we, just for today, reminded ourselves that recovery is a process?