Letters to Susan Part 7 Guard the fortress of your mind.

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Letters to Susan Part 7 Guard the fortress of your mind.

#guardyourthoughts #choosejoy

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Letters to Susan Part 6 Reach out for support.

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Letters to Susan Part 5 Stop obsessing about your prodigal and how you can fix her.

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Letters to Susan Part 7 Guard the fortress of your mind. #guardyourthoughts #choosejoy

Posted on July 20, 2015

2 Cor 10:5 “…bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”

Part of this post is my response to a devastated parent who emailed me asking how she could help her prodigal. (Note: Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.)

Dear Susan:

Loving a prodigal can make us feel like we’ve totally lost control of our own lives as well as of our circumstances. And staying positive in that kind of environment is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. It’s possible…really it is. But if you and I are going to stay focused on the positive, we need to guard the fortress of our minds.

While we usually can’t choose our circumstances, we can choose to “set [our] minds on things above” rather than the insanity that’s going on around us. (Col 3:2) When our world seems to be spinning out of control, it can be empowering to know that we do have some control over our thoughts. However, if we’re going to “bring into captivity every thought…” it’s going to take some effort on our part.

In Bible days when men wore robes, they would tie them up above their legs so they could run. If they didn’t “gird up their loins,” the robes would get in their way and trip them up. No wonder Peter tells us in 1 Peter 1:13 to, “gird up the loins of your mind.” If we’re going to survive the insanity of loving a prodigal, we’ll need to do exactly that and guard the fortress of our minds.

The single most important thing we can do to guard our minds is to surround ourselves with things that are positive. That includes books, blogs and even people that are uplifting. We need those things to help us on this terrible path, and I know it’s terrible because I’m right there with you. However, there are tools out there that can help us to help ourselves.

You said you’ve been reading your Bible, and that’s wonderful because your Bible is the best place to begin. There’s great comfort in reading the Psalms and seeing how David found joy and peace in his circumstances. I can’t count the times I’ve gone to my Bible overwhelmed and come away at peace having been reminded by the Holy Spirit that, “God’s got this.”

Besides the Scriptures, my blog at http://www.preciousprodigal.com is a good place to start, but there are plenty of other blogs and books that might help you. Both Al-Anon and Hazelden have wonderful devotional books, and encouraging authors like Max Lucado write books that are uplifting. And those are just a beginning. There are plenty more out there. Because we’re only capable of having one thought at a time, doesn’t it make sense to fill our minds with uplifting and encouraging words that give us hope?

I’m not trying to say it’s not a problem when we love a prodigal. Of course it is. And it hurts. But this isn’t the time to sit and brood about the “what ifs.” Think about that for a minute. What could possibly be accomplished by meditating on, “What if she…if I…if they?” except to make you miserable? This path we’re on is hard enough without our making it tougher than it already is.

Although we can’t choose our circumstances, we absolutely have choices about how we react or respond to those circumstances. We can choose to be miserable or we can focus our minds on “whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report…” And “if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise,” we can choose to think on these things. (Phil 4:8)

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, chose to guard the fortress of our minds?