How can you expect me to love the ones who hurt me so much?

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2 Peter 1:5-7 “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith…charity.”

We’ve looked at phileo love, that love we have for family and those people we love like family. I call those people “heart friends,” and that’s a good word for how I love them because “phileo” love is from the heart.

“Agape” love, however, is seated in the intellect. It’s the way we choose to think and act, and it’s the word “love” as used in 1 Corinthians 13. While Phileo and Agape love are both authentic, they are totally different.

Agape is about action, making a choice to show love regardless of how we feel. That’s more of a challenge, isn’t it? Who doesn’t love the friends who love them? Even the worst of us can do that. (Matt 5:46) But it isn’t that easy to love those people who don’t love us.

It’s even more challenging to show love to people who don’t like us. But even that doesn’t go far enough. Agape love shows love to the people who hate us…people who would and have hurt us. Agape love doesn’t strike back. Instead, it goes out of its way to be a blessing to the very ones that hate us.

If our enemy is hungry, we are to give him food and by doing that, we will “heap coals of fire on his head.” (Rom 12:20) Coals of fire? Yes, but if you’re hoping this will cause pain or be a punishment, you’d be wrong. Those “coals of fire” never meant to harm or convict anyone.

In Bible days, they didn’t exactly have gas stoves and pilot lights. However, fire meant people could prepare food and have heat and light. If their fire went out, they would take a pan (on their head, as was the custom) to a neighbor and get coals to restart their fire. It was a kind act done for a neighbor or friend.

Jesus, of course, was the perfect example of “Agape” love. He came to a world that didn’t want Him, died for a world that rejected Him, and openly receives all who will come to Him. He doesn’t wait until we clean up, straighten up, or smarten up. When we were sinners and without strength, Christ died for us. (Rom 5:6-8) Verse 10 goes even further by saying we were God’s enemies.

God loving us has nothing to do with us and has everything to do with Him. He loves us because it is His nature to love, and it’s not conditional. I’m glad He didn’t wait to love me until I deserved it because that would not, could not ever happen. He loved and continues to love me in spite of what I do. And He requires of me (and of you) that we love others in the same sacrificial way.

Sounds impossible, doesn’t it? And it is…at least it is if we’re waiting to “feel” that agape love. However, we’ve already determined that agape love has nothing to do with how we feel and everything to do with what we do.

I know it isn’t easy to love the people who hurt us. I’m right there with you. But I’ve learned in my wilderness journey that I don’t have to be a slave to my feelings. I can choose to do the right thing regardless of how I feel. And by God’s grace and with His help, I can even choose to show agape love.

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, chose to show love regardless of how we feel?